How can me and my bf stay together at uni?
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What's this talk of gutters?
Ok I'll do that on sunday. At my church. Which is evangelical. 
YOUS A MIND READER!!!
SMILE you sound like a bitter person.
YOUS A MIND READER!!! SMILE you sound like a bitter person.
I'm not advertising my religion incessantly...
You are quite harsh but I do see your point. If, on the other hand, they lived in separate cities, had a separate lifestyle with lots of different friends and learnt to be independent individuals and afterwards still wanted to be together. Then kudos to them. My parents were like this. Dad was in his early twenties and he had an independent lifestyle, even lived in Italy for a year on his own, but after everything still wanted to be with my Mum, and still is, after 30 years lol. In my opinion, relationships that begin aged 16-24 may not necessarily stifle independence but most do. You need to find out yourself and discover your life. If. after several years of doing this, then you're still wanting to be with that person after seeing what the world has to offer, then fair enough. But it is rare.
Wow you really do put yourself on a pedestal.
Well if he really changes that drastically then il deal with it when it comes.
Mine isn't a 'casual, childish relationship'.
You can be independant both in and out of a relationship, the only difference when your single is you may meet men with the intention to take things further.
Im not happy that i found 'someone' anyone can find 'someone' i found a man who has similar interests, values and goals, who i love dearly. Thats more than alot of people can say.
Im perfectly happy being an 'emotional crutch' and supporting my partner, whats wrong if i matured early and im happy how my life is?
Well if he really changes that drastically then il deal with it when it comes.
Mine isn't a 'casual, childish relationship'.
You can be independant both in and out of a relationship, the only difference when your single is you may meet men with the intention to take things further.
Im not happy that i found 'someone' anyone can find 'someone' i found a man who has similar interests, values and goals, who i love dearly. Thats more than alot of people can say.
Im perfectly happy being an 'emotional crutch' and supporting my partner, whats wrong if i matured early and im happy how my life is?
Original post by sofffiii
Not sure about the others but rent in Derby is dirt cheap. You can get a one bed flat for less than £250 a month!
For example... http://www.findaproperty.com/displayprop.aspx?edid=00&salerent=1&pid=8652625
For example... http://www.findaproperty.com/displayprop.aspx?edid=00&salerent=1&pid=8652625
That's because Derby is a dump. There is always a reason why something is cheap.
Original post by Lerone
Wow you really do put yourself on a pedestal.
Well if he really changes that drastically then il deal with it when it comes.
Mine isn't a 'casual, childish relationship'.
You can be independant both in and out of a relationship, the only difference when your single is you may meet men with the intention to take things further.
Im not happy that i found 'someone' anyone can find 'someone' i found a man who has similar interests, values and goals, who i love dearly. Thats more than alot of people can say.
Im perfectly happy being an 'emotional crutch' and supporting my partner, whats wrong if i matured early and im happy how my life is?
Well if he really changes that drastically then il deal with it when it comes.
Mine isn't a 'casual, childish relationship'.
You can be independant both in and out of a relationship, the only difference when your single is you may meet men with the intention to take things further.
Im not happy that i found 'someone' anyone can find 'someone' i found a man who has similar interests, values and goals, who i love dearly. Thats more than alot of people can say.
Im perfectly happy being an 'emotional crutch' and supporting my partner, whats wrong if i matured early and im happy how my life is?
Just cos we're cynical old fogies doesn't mean you have to be. I doubt most things, but it's your choice and be confident and happy in whatever decision you make. Just ensure you have a good team of mates and family if the **** ever hits the fan
Original post by Réglisse
Just cos we're cynical old fogies doesn't mean you have to be. I doubt most things, but it's your choice and be confident and happy in whatever decision you make. Just ensure you have a good team of mates and family if the **** ever hits the fan
Thanks, i have two very good families behind me. Im not cynical i just find myself constantly telling people that my relationship isn't childish, it gets old after about 3 years!
Original post by Lerone
Thanks, i have two very good families behind me. Im not cynical i just find myself constantly telling people that my relationship isn't childish, it gets old after about 3 years!
I know what you mean, I'm similar. I reckon it takes a very special relationship to withstand the test of time and youth. With any luck, you'll be one of the lucky ones!
Original post by Réglisse
You are quite harsh but I do see your point. If, on the other hand, they lived in separate cities, had a separate lifestyle with lots of different friends and learnt to be independent individuals and afterwards still wanted to be together. Then kudos to them. My parents were like this. Dad was in his early twenties and he had an independent lifestyle, even lived in Italy for a year on his own, but after everything still wanted to be with my Mum, and still is, after 30 years lol. In my opinion, relationships that begin aged 16-24 may not necessarily stifle independence but most do. You need to find out yourself and discover your life. If. after several years of doing this, then you're still wanting to be with that person after seeing what the world has to offer, then fair enough. But it is rare.
Ha we meet again! Just wanted to ask, were your father and mothes officially together at the time when he spent his year in Italy?
Your putting yourself on a pedestal by so harshly critisizing me, your turning it into a personal issue against me, saying that the last thing i am is mature etc.
I didn't have goals that i discussed with my partner at 15, i would say a year and a half into the relationship it became serious. At that point i know i wanted a close knit family like my partner's one day, wanted to go to university and become a teacher. They are still my goals. I dont see how that is alarming.
Yet again, why is my relationship damaging? Iv already stated one can be independant within and without a relationship.
I didn't have goals that i discussed with my partner at 15, i would say a year and a half into the relationship it became serious. At that point i know i wanted a close knit family like my partner's one day, wanted to go to university and become a teacher. They are still my goals. I dont see how that is alarming.
Yet again, why is my relationship damaging? Iv already stated one can be independant within and without a relationship.
(edited 12 years ago)
Fair nuff but I could be a whole lot worse. Have fun with your atheist life. Peace
It's really not a good idea to live with your bf in the same flat at uni. For a start it makes things really awkward for the rest of the people living with you and noone wants to live with a couple! Also because you don't know anyone else you won't make any new friends if you stick with him all the time, which you'll end up doing if you move in together.
Everyone does expect to be meeting people all in the same position, who don't know each other. It's part of the uni experience.
If you really want to live together then I'd advise private accommodation. Living together in halls is just a no-go.
Everyone does expect to be meeting people all in the same position, who don't know each other. It's part of the uni experience.
If you really want to live together then I'd advise private accommodation. Living together in halls is just a no-go.
Original post by Bonfire
Ha we meet again! Just wanted to ask, were your father and mothes officially together at the time when he spent his year in Italy?
No I think they went on a break and tried other people. Only to find that they really wanted each other after all that. But then again. he lived in France alone for longer than that and they were loyal to each other, so I guess it just depends on the timing etc
(edited 12 years ago)
wtf?! Don't care tbh you're a random stranger from the intraweb.
Original post by the cake lady
At uni, one of the worst things when it comes to the whole who-to-live-with-this-year business is the dreaded loved-up clingy couple. Most people I know at uni will refuse to live with any couples in the flat/house.
And you're going to do that straight away? If not for yourself, for the sake of all those poor people who are expecting to come into a flat with everyone in the same boat, not knowing each other, independent etc, don't do it. You will create a divide, and be left out.
Also, man up. You don't sound like you are ready for uni if you are going in with this attitude. Who cares if he lives a 5min walk away? You'll still sleep in each others beds most night.
Even as I type this, I know it's a wasted effort. Sigh.
And you're going to do that straight away? If not for yourself, for the sake of all those poor people who are expecting to come into a flat with everyone in the same boat, not knowing each other, independent etc, don't do it. You will create a divide, and be left out.
Also, man up. You don't sound like you are ready for uni if you are going in with this attitude. Who cares if he lives a 5min walk away? You'll still sleep in each others beds most night.
Even as I type this, I know it's a wasted effort. Sigh.
This. Bloody irritating when they are drunk on nights out bitching at each other too.
No one is the same online as they are in real life. I'm sure you and I are both very nice people. I apologise if I come across as a crappy Christian but tbh no one is perfect and you seem to like provoking.
Not being particularly evangelical or extreme I don't need to but thanks for looking out for me
Original post by flying plum
However, living in halls is part of the fun of uni, and I think it would be hard to experience it with a boyfriend in the same flat.
I didn't realise one had to be single to enjoy the fun of halls.
I know first year tends to be full of hormonal teenagers freed from the constraints of their prior lives and want to enjoy a year of no responsibilities and random sex with other like minded individuals, but some people aren't single so why should they act as if they are?
Fact is that uni is one short period of ones life, and the first year or two where people just **** about (actually and metaphorically) is even shorter.
Fact is that I've had a relationship that is longer than my degree course, and so has the OP.
OP, ignore what people are saying, just find shared accommodation with your boyfriend and achieve what you set out to achieve at uni.
You seem to be in a steady long term relationship and if it as serious as you claim (and which I have no reason to doubt so far) it'll outlast uni.
Large swathes of people going into uni fail to realise not everyone develops so late (I mean really, you people are going into your 20's and still needing to have kiddy relationships?) and that not everyone prioritises making freshers week last to 1 or 2 years into their studies. Many of them will probably drop out before they even reach the end of their second year.
Some people don;t do relationships or prefer it casual and that is fine, but so is someone deciding to settle into a good long term relationship when it works for them.
Again, your best bet is probably off-campus rented accommodation. Student accommodation is pretty much designed for individuals with shared kitchen, bathroom and lounge facilities, whereas the private market will cater more for couples and what-not.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Studentus-anonymous
I know first year tends to be full of hormonal teenagers freed from the constraints of their prior lives and want to enjoy a year of no responsibilities and random sex with other like minded individuals, but some people aren't single so why should they act as if they are?
Fact is that uni is one short period of ones life, and the first year or two where people just **** about (actually and metaphorically) is even shorter.
Fact is that I've had a relationship that is longer than my degree course, and so has the OP.
you don't; and in fairness, I think you've misquoted me somewhat. I wasn't implying that the 'fun' of hall is all about being stupid and sleeping around. I was thinking more about meeting new people, and making new friends. you can do this as a couple, but it is potentially harder. I suppose it depends what you're like as a couple, but if you spend a lot of time together, it can make it harder to make new friends and integrate. as a couple you get known as a single unit, rather than two separate people. Living in private accomodation in a city where you don't know anyone could be quite isolating, however much you love your partner.
it is ultimately the OPs decision, but i think it's worth putting that perspective out there, just to be wary of what you might miss out on, without damaging your relationship, by starting off as an extremely tight unit, away from a familiar environment and friends who know you. that's all.
perhaps i have a different view on this...I lived with my partner, and we've subsequently lived apart for two years for work, and will be doing so for at least another one or two. i prefer living with him, it's nice to live together, but i also know that our relationship is pretty strong and it's nto the end of the world not to be in the same flat all the time.
(edited 12 years ago)
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