Bad jokes
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"knock knock"
"who's there?"
"Grandad"
"STOP THE FUNERAL!"
"who's there?"
"Grandad"
"STOP THE FUNERAL!"
Original post by DK_Tipp
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Biggish
Biggish who?
Sorry mate, haven't got any change.
Who's there?
Biggish
Biggish who?
Sorry mate, haven't got any change.
Wow I remember that one when my mate always used to ask the sellers in town, about 10 years ago!
Original post by Danielle0
Right, I think bad jokes are the best kind of jokes.
I'll start, I was walking to the shop this morning and someone threw a block of cheese at my head so I said, "well that's mature".
I'll start, I was walking to the shop this morning and someone threw a block of cheese at my head so I said, "well that's mature".
The other response is "How dairy!"
Original post by Nice.Guy
Ahhh, I was going to say a joke about noble gases. . . but now all the good jokes argon 
Aw, you stole my joke idea :P
Three notes walk into a bar – a G, an E flat, and a C. The bartender looks up and says “We don’t serve minors.”
Spoiler
"When might we take the kids to Disneyland?" the wife asked me a few weeks ago.
I thought about it, and replied, "May."
It's been a blast watching her pack, and the kids getting excited. All I did was correct her grammar.
I thought about it, and replied, "May."
It's been a blast watching her pack, and the kids getting excited. All I did was correct her grammar.
What do you tell your girlfriend when she's got two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice already.
Nothing, you've told her twice already.
Original post by Wilfred Little
What do you tell your girlfriend when she's got two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice already.
Nothing, you've told her twice already.
LOL i spit coffee over my revision
Original post by Creat0r
Wow I remember that one when my mate always used to ask the sellers in town, about 10 years ago!
Never claimed it was original material!
Original post by DK_Tipp
Never claimed it was original material!
I know, you just brought back a memory
Original post by Creat0r
I know, you just brought back a memory
It's definitely a golden oldie. Just thought of it because there's currently a lot of purveyors of the aforementioned publication where I am right now.
This joke will only appeal to a specific audience, but I shall tell it anyway...
What does a quarian do when he doesn't understand something?
Posted from TSR Mobile
What does a quarian do when he doesn't understand something?
Spoiler
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Yasmin25
"A new element added to Periodic Table.
Name: Girl
Symbol: Gl
Atomic weight: Don’t even dare to ask
Physical properties : Boils at any time, Melts when handled with love and care, very bitter if mishandled .
Chemical properties : very reactive, Highly unstable, possesses high affinity to Gold, Platinum, Branded clothes and other precious items.
Money reducing agent, Volatile when left alone.
Occurance: Mostly found in front of mirror"
Name: Girl
Symbol: Gl
Atomic weight: Don’t even dare to ask
Physical properties : Boils at any time, Melts when handled with love and care, very bitter if mishandled .
Chemical properties : very reactive, Highly unstable, possesses high affinity to Gold, Platinum, Branded clothes and other precious items.
Money reducing agent, Volatile when left alone.
Occurance: Mostly found in front of mirror"
I'm afraid I found this hilarious
+1
My boss came into the office today to see all the women crying at their desks and rubbing their heads. "What's happened?" he said. "You told me to bang some heads together". "Talk about taking things too literally!"
I then prepared a two hour lecture on taking things too literally.
I then prepared a two hour lecture on taking things too literally.
Outside of a dog, a book is mans best friend
Spoiler
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