Advice on how to win back ex? Please?
Please read, need advice. My head's all over the place and don't exactly know where to go from here. Might be long, sorry, but I really would appreciate any advice.
I know the majority of you will tell me to move on, but I'm going to try one more shot to try and win back my ex, if it doesn't work, that's it. I'll move on.
I started going out with my ex, and a month or so in she told me she loved me (twice, when drunk). I was nowhere near ready to say it so told her I cared about her but not ready to say I love you. She dumped me the next day, claimed it was because mutual friends comparing her to my previous girlfriend and getting involved - turns out it was that, and due to the fact I didn't tell her I loved her. Talked her round and we got back together. Week later she ends it again. We stay close, times I was with her she said she wanted to kiss me, contemplated going out with me again, but couldn't because we'd tried it once. I stupidly fell for her whilst we were hanging out together, and even though we weren't 'together', being with her I realised how I felt for her. Anyway, she goes on a date and tells me. I go crazy, write her letters, texts etc. to try and talk her round. Nothing worked, so I told her I was moving on. That same night we end up doing stuff, we both tell each other how we feel. Same thing nearly happens the next day, we kiss, but she's concerned about her friends knowing - it was in her house, everyone was in. She then rings me and tells me it can't happen again. She then claims it was because she was drunk. She had had a cider when it happened, and the next day a cider early on in the day. I met up with her in the evening, so time to 'sober up'. We then say to try as friends. She encourages me to go on a date but get's jealous. The date I go on turns out to be a psycho and she starts emailing my ex. I call if off with her.
Week or so later my ex Skype's me when drunk. Says how a friend of mine tried to kiss her, and she even contemplated it but didn't. Says she doesn't like me because I'm a dick. Next day she claims to have no recollection of this. Couple of days later we get talking about our 'relationship' as friends. She says we can never be proper friends because of everything that's happened, and she feels she can't have a drink with me in case things happen between us. I then say to cut ties because it was all a mess and messing with my head. She blocks me on Facebook. Same night I have a problem with my bro and she helps me out. I say I want to be her friend, but she says no. The girl I went on the date with emails my ex again, to the point were my ex reports her to the police.
Tried to be civil with my ex, told her am sorry for how things have gone and want to essentially rebuild the relationship. She says it can't be fixed because am a dick, and even if it could be fixed it'll take a lot more than me texting her etc. and I should leave her for a bit. I haven't heard from her since, and I've not made contact. That was about a week ago now. She's at home for Easter and back in three weeks. She also feels like I blame her for the relationship not working out, when I told her it wasn't her fault.
So yeah. Is there anything at all I can do to fix this relationship, and maybe get back to the position where we could go out again, or is it hopeless?
I know the majority of you will tell me to move on, but I'm going to try one more shot to try and win back my ex, if it doesn't work, that's it. I'll move on.
I started going out with my ex, and a month or so in she told me she loved me (twice, when drunk). I was nowhere near ready to say it so told her I cared about her but not ready to say I love you. She dumped me the next day, claimed it was because mutual friends comparing her to my previous girlfriend and getting involved - turns out it was that, and due to the fact I didn't tell her I loved her. Talked her round and we got back together. Week later she ends it again. We stay close, times I was with her she said she wanted to kiss me, contemplated going out with me again, but couldn't because we'd tried it once. I stupidly fell for her whilst we were hanging out together, and even though we weren't 'together', being with her I realised how I felt for her. Anyway, she goes on a date and tells me. I go crazy, write her letters, texts etc. to try and talk her round. Nothing worked, so I told her I was moving on. That same night we end up doing stuff, we both tell each other how we feel. Same thing nearly happens the next day, we kiss, but she's concerned about her friends knowing - it was in her house, everyone was in. She then rings me and tells me it can't happen again. She then claims it was because she was drunk. She had had a cider when it happened, and the next day a cider early on in the day. I met up with her in the evening, so time to 'sober up'. We then say to try as friends. She encourages me to go on a date but get's jealous. The date I go on turns out to be a psycho and she starts emailing my ex. I call if off with her.
Week or so later my ex Skype's me when drunk. Says how a friend of mine tried to kiss her, and she even contemplated it but didn't. Says she doesn't like me because I'm a dick. Next day she claims to have no recollection of this. Couple of days later we get talking about our 'relationship' as friends. She says we can never be proper friends because of everything that's happened, and she feels she can't have a drink with me in case things happen between us. I then say to cut ties because it was all a mess and messing with my head. She blocks me on Facebook. Same night I have a problem with my bro and she helps me out. I say I want to be her friend, but she says no. The girl I went on the date with emails my ex again, to the point were my ex reports her to the police.
Tried to be civil with my ex, told her am sorry for how things have gone and want to essentially rebuild the relationship. She says it can't be fixed because am a dick, and even if it could be fixed it'll take a lot more than me texting her etc. and I should leave her for a bit. I haven't heard from her since, and I've not made contact. That was about a week ago now. She's at home for Easter and back in three weeks. She also feels like I blame her for the relationship not working out, when I told her it wasn't her fault.
So yeah. Is there anything at all I can do to fix this relationship, and maybe get back to the position where we could go out again, or is it hopeless?
(edited 11 years ago)
Forgot to mention. I haven't been blocked on Twitter, so not all ties are 'cut'. My mates think she still has feelings for me, but because off all the dramas - which weren't my fault - she thinks she's trying to push me away so she doesn't have those feelings still, if that makes sense. I know this relationship has been a mess, but if there was one more chance, I honestly feel it could work - I just don't know how to get to try again. She also blames me for all the drama.
Anyone?
Oh, and Happy Easter.
Oh, and Happy Easter.
Original post by henrysickle
Anyone?
Oh, and Happy Easter.
Oh, and Happy Easter.
Happy Easter
I think you should leave it for another week or so - she wants time, give her it.
If no contact from her after that, then just don't get back into it. If she does contact you, based on that, see how it goes.
imo, personally, I think you should move on...it sounds too intense/up&down&up&down to work out long-term, but that's imo ofcourse
Good luck
Happy Easter. If I were you, when she comes back after Easter introduce yourself to her and ask for a fresh start be romantic as well.
be romantic as well.
You've posted this many times before and have just reworded it. How do I know? Because I've answered this so many ****ing times. If you aren't going to take the advice, so be it, but take a hint and get over your issues.
I am assuming you are young and thus have the whole world ahead of you. You have tried to have a relationship, got back together and then after a week she ended it, which seems to me that she doesn't want to string you along as either she doesn't have romantic feelings for you or she doesn't like commitment.
Either way I don't think she is ready for a relationship yet. It may not be a personal dig at you, as she obviously likes spending time with you and finds you attractive but maybe the issue lies with her and not you.
Pushing her to get answers and a 'Yes' to the relationship will not help the situation and she has told you to give her time which to me is quite a positive thing. You need to move on, not win her back as if it was meant to be, it will be and she needs to find this out in her own time (hence why she asked). If she doesn't want a relationship still, then at least you won't be pining over her. Maybe with space you will see her less in a romantic way and realise how many other romantic and personal opputunities are out there which you have never before seen when in a relationship with your ex.
PM if you want to talk or anything! Good luck
Either way I don't think she is ready for a relationship yet. It may not be a personal dig at you, as she obviously likes spending time with you and finds you attractive but maybe the issue lies with her and not you.
Pushing her to get answers and a 'Yes' to the relationship will not help the situation and she has told you to give her time which to me is quite a positive thing. You need to move on, not win her back as if it was meant to be, it will be and she needs to find this out in her own time (hence why she asked). If she doesn't want a relationship still, then at least you won't be pining over her. Maybe with space you will see her less in a romantic way and realise how many other romantic and personal opputunities are out there which you have never before seen when in a relationship with your ex.
PM if you want to talk or anything! Good luck
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by henrysickle
Please read, need advice. My head's all over the place and don't exactly know where to go from here. Might be long, sorry, but I really would appreciate any advice.
I know the majority of you will tell me to move on, but I'm going to try one more shot to try and win back my ex, if it doesn't work, that's it. I'll move on.
I started going out with my ex, and a month or so in she told me she loved me (twice, when drunk). I was nowhere near ready to say it so told her I cared about her but not ready to say I love you. She dumped me the next day, claimed it was because mutual friends comparing her to my previous girlfriend and getting involved - turns out it was that, and due to the fact I didn't tell her I loved her. Talked her round and we got back together. Week later she ends it again. We stay close, times I was with her she said she wanted to kiss me, contemplated going out with me again, but couldn't because we'd tried it once. I stupidly fell for her whilst we were hanging out together, and even though we weren't 'together', being with her I realised how I felt for her. Anyway, she goes on a date and tells me. I go crazy, write her letters, texts etc. to try and talk her round. Nothing worked, so I told her I was moving on. That same night we end up doing stuff, we both tell each other how we feel. Same thing nearly happens the next day, we kiss, but she's concerned about her friends knowing - it was in her house, everyone was in. She then rings me and tells me it can't happen again. She then claims it was because she was drunk. She had had a cider when it happened, and the next day a cider early on in the day. I met up with her in the evening, so time to 'sober up'. We then say to try as friends. She encourages me to go on a date but get's jealous. The date I go on turns out to be a psycho and she starts emailing my ex. I call if off with her.
Week or so later my ex Skype's me when drunk. Says how a friend of mine tried to kiss her, and she even contemplated it but didn't. Says she doesn't like me because I'm a dick. Next day she claims to have no recollection of this. Couple of days later we get talking about our 'relationship' as friends. She says we can never be proper friends because of everything that's happened, and she feels she can't have a drink with me in case things happen between us. I then say to cut ties because it was all a mess and messing with my head. She blocks me on Facebook. Same night I have a problem with my bro and she helps me out. I say I want to be her friend, but she says no. The girl I went on the date with emails my ex again, to the point were my ex reports her to the police.
Tried to be civil with my ex, told her am sorry for how things have gone and want to essentially rebuild the relationship. She says it can't be fixed because am a dick, and even if it could be fixed it'll take a lot more than me texting her etc. and I should leave her for a bit. I haven't heard from her since, and I've not made contact. That was about a week ago now. She's at home for Easter and back in three weeks. She also feels like I blame her for the relationship not working out, when I told her it wasn't her fault.
So yeah. Is there anything at all I can do to fix this relationship, and maybe get back to the position where we could go out again, or is it hopeless?
I know the majority of you will tell me to move on, but I'm going to try one more shot to try and win back my ex, if it doesn't work, that's it. I'll move on.
I started going out with my ex, and a month or so in she told me she loved me (twice, when drunk). I was nowhere near ready to say it so told her I cared about her but not ready to say I love you. She dumped me the next day, claimed it was because mutual friends comparing her to my previous girlfriend and getting involved - turns out it was that, and due to the fact I didn't tell her I loved her. Talked her round and we got back together. Week later she ends it again. We stay close, times I was with her she said she wanted to kiss me, contemplated going out with me again, but couldn't because we'd tried it once. I stupidly fell for her whilst we were hanging out together, and even though we weren't 'together', being with her I realised how I felt for her. Anyway, she goes on a date and tells me. I go crazy, write her letters, texts etc. to try and talk her round. Nothing worked, so I told her I was moving on. That same night we end up doing stuff, we both tell each other how we feel. Same thing nearly happens the next day, we kiss, but she's concerned about her friends knowing - it was in her house, everyone was in. She then rings me and tells me it can't happen again. She then claims it was because she was drunk. She had had a cider when it happened, and the next day a cider early on in the day. I met up with her in the evening, so time to 'sober up'. We then say to try as friends. She encourages me to go on a date but get's jealous. The date I go on turns out to be a psycho and she starts emailing my ex. I call if off with her.
Week or so later my ex Skype's me when drunk. Says how a friend of mine tried to kiss her, and she even contemplated it but didn't. Says she doesn't like me because I'm a dick. Next day she claims to have no recollection of this. Couple of days later we get talking about our 'relationship' as friends. She says we can never be proper friends because of everything that's happened, and she feels she can't have a drink with me in case things happen between us. I then say to cut ties because it was all a mess and messing with my head. She blocks me on Facebook. Same night I have a problem with my bro and she helps me out. I say I want to be her friend, but she says no. The girl I went on the date with emails my ex again, to the point were my ex reports her to the police.
Tried to be civil with my ex, told her am sorry for how things have gone and want to essentially rebuild the relationship. She says it can't be fixed because am a dick, and even if it could be fixed it'll take a lot more than me texting her etc. and I should leave her for a bit. I haven't heard from her since, and I've not made contact. That was about a week ago now. She's at home for Easter and back in three weeks. She also feels like I blame her for the relationship not working out, when I told her it wasn't her fault.
So yeah. Is there anything at all I can do to fix this relationship, and maybe get back to the position where we could go out again, or is it hopeless?
TL;DR!
She won't take you back, move on.
Happy Easter!
I wouldn't worry about it whatever the outcome. You both sound like equally confused 15 year olds.
Cut contact, if she asks why say you need some space to think. It may take weeks or a month for her to contact. If it's longer chances are its game over. In the meantime go out do something constructive like go to the gym or join a new club something to keep you busy. Meet some new people, even some new girls. Don't contact her until she initiates, don't talk about the relationship unless she does first. Make it look like you're busy, don't text or call her back the instance you get them, wait an hour or so. Effectively move on without moving on so to speak. If she asks to meet up great, keep it low key, make sure it fits in with your schedule first and foremost, if not suggest another day. If she says she wants you back, talk to her about why you split up in the first place, set some boundaries in the relationship. If it doesn't work, you're already halfway to being over her.
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