Women on OKCupid

OP

Original post by Alpha brah

Being rude to someone to "test their reaction" is not OK, even if you are just (apparently) trying to "test their reaction".

This isn't even a feminist/equality issue, it's basic manners and courtesy. I would never message guys like that on a dating site, even if I wasn't getting much attention. (In b4 "well you would never not get much attention" - if I were obese and not getting any attention it would still not be OK).

Someone is not a true gentleman/lady if they would give up their manners in a heartbeat.

The only approach that will "work" long term is actually being someone of decent character.

You do realise I was in no way serious right? :rolleyes:

Funny how I get a response for being rude too though yet when I was being polite etc. I didn't. Says a lot about how more women think differently to you.

Reply 23

El Salvador

21

Because that sounds interesting.

Reply 24

Original post by astroturf

maybe he was not?

maybe he was genuinely desperate after having spent endless days on a stupid dating website just to be rejected by any single woman?

He already admitted he was.

So I think we can safely assume he was.

Reply 25

OP

Original post by redferry

He already admitted he was.

So I think we can safely assume he was.

Well not really trolling, testing and querying what worked. My mates have been on the site for a while and they claimed it was difficult. Im seeing someone so had no need to sign up. I stated 2 days ago it cant be that hard and they forced me to sign up and prove it. Its actually very hard unless you're a complete dick. I will now pass on the info to them and if they wish to be dicks to get noticed thats up to them. I shall return to seeing the person I am happily seeing and continue being happy and acting like a gentleman.

Reply 26

astroturf

5

Original post by redferry

He already admitted he was.

So I think we can safely assume he was.

are you trolling me or can't you really abstract from this specific case?
you did not know he was trolling when you replied, yet you would have trolled him anyway.

Reply 27

Original post by Mickey O'Neil

I've reported you. I've had enough of your **** now.

I think what you have to understand is us girls on here get this crap all the time. 'Oh women don't like nice guys they just go for dicks BLAH BLAH BLAH insert more sexist rambling here, woe is me I cant get laid it must be a problem with 50% of the population rather than something I am doing wrong'.

As someone who self identifies as a feminist I hope you can understand why reinforcing this myth gets our goat.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 28

Original post by astroturf

are you trolling me or can't you really abstract from this specific case?
you did not know he was trolling when you replied, yet you would have trolled him anyway.

Anyone that sexist they actually believe what the op sent 100% deserves to get trolled

Reply 29

OP

Original post by redferry

I think what you have to understand is us girls on here get this crap all the time. 'Oh women don't like nice guys they just go for dicks BLAH BLAH BLAH insert more sexist rambling here, woe is me I cant get paid it must be a problem with 50% of the population rather than something I am doing wrong'.

As someone who self identifies as a feminist I hope you can understand why reinforcing this myth gets our goat.

I understand your frustrations redferry but I do feel like some women are not doing the feminist cause any favours either by their attitude etc. Of course, that attitude could stem from all sorts so its a bit unfair to judge them however I still think when a guy is an arse women should point it out and say 'wise up ffs' and find a gentleman. It would make men wake up and make more of an effort to act like a civilised and respectable human being. A lot of men now believe they dont have too because of the way 'some' women respond.

At least there are some women like yourself out there that actually do prefer a gentleman. There is hope for some of us after all.

:smile:

Reply 30

Alpha brah

Original post by redferry

I think what you have to understand is us girls on here get this crap all the time. 'Oh women don't like nice guys they just go for dicks BLAH BLAH BLAH insert more sexist rambling here, woe is me I cant get laid it must be a problem with 50% of the population rather than something I am doing wrong'.

As someone who self identifies as a feminist I hope you can understand why reinforcing this myth gets our goat.

I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't self identify as a feminist TBH, and is just trolling. Or he's one of those people with a really weird view of the movement.

Ain't even mad he reported me. I'm usually very polite to people on here but some deserve rudeness.

Reply 31

OP

Original post by Alpha brah

I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't self identify as a feminist TBH, and is just trolling. Or he's one of those people with a really weird view of the movement.

Ain't even mad he reported me. I'm usually very polite to people on here but some deserve rudeness.

I was just reporting back o what worked on OKCupid. Thats a fact. Why can't you accept that? The attitude in question might not work for you and good, it shouldn't and I respect you for that as I'm not really a dick of a person either, I was doing it merely to find out what worked - yet why do these women respond to guys who treat them like dicks? Im not saying all women do but some do. Why?

Surely you can see this is not helping. If a man can be a dick to a woman and she pays him attention he will think that works and continue doing it and the cycle continues.

I'd rather treat people with respect but I was just testing it out. Also, as for your personal attacks, they're laughable considering you say you treat people with respect. I'm happy seeing someone who I care for and treat with respect and hope things go further with.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 32

Original post by Alpha brah

I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't self identify as a feminist TBH, and is just trolling. Or he's one of those people with a really weird view of the movement.

Ain't even mad he reported me. I'm usually very polite to people on here but some deserve rudeness.

I would say that initial calm reasoning is usually a better approach though :tongue:

True last guy that told me he self identified as a feminist had just proclaimed my friend had 'brought it on herself by sleeping with him in the first place' when the guy started stalking her

Reply 33

astroturf

5

Original post by redferry

Anyone that sexist they actually believe what the op sent 100% deserves to get trolled

what is sexist about the message OP sent?
He's asking for consent in the explicit way the law calls for, and making clear what his intentions are from the start.
I see no problem with that.
Please explain in great detail where I am wrong.

Reply 34

Original post by astroturf

what is sexist about the message OP sent?
He's asking for consent in the explicit way the law calls for, and making clear what his intentions are from the start.
I see no problem with that.
Please explain in great detail where I am wrong.

It proclaims all women are shallow, and the whole concept supports the 'girls only go for dicks not nice guys' myth.

Reply 35

Alpha brah

Original post by redferry

I would say that initial calm reasoning is usually a better approach though :tongue:

True last guy that told me he self identified as a feminist had just proclaimed my friend had 'brought it on herself by sleeping with him in the first place' when the guy started stalking her

Hence why I usually employ it :tongue:

But OP is clearly a rude person anyway, as is evident from the message he said he sent. As a general rule, I'm rude to people if they are either rude to me or to others first, and he falls in to the latter category, so... :colone:

Yeah, sometimes guys just say they're "feminists" for all the wrong reasons TBH :/

Reply 36

astroturf

5

Original post by redferry

It proclaims all women are shallow, and the whole concept supports the 'girls only go for dicks not nice guys' myth.

This is the kind of inference that give feminists a bad name.
If anything, the message acts like a filter, if you are not shallow or don't follow the myth, you can just say no or ignore them.

Reply 37

OP

Original post by Alpha brah

Hence why I usually employ it :tongue:

But OP is clearly a rude person anyway, as is evident from the message he said he sent. As a general rule, I'm rude to people if they are either rude to me or to others first, and he falls in to the latter category, so... :colone:

Nah im not a rude person. If I was a rude person Id have sent them that message in the first instance. You clearly seem unable to comprehend the point of the whole thing. More fool you.

Reply 38

OP

Original post by redferry

It proclaims all women are shallow, and the whole concept supports the 'girls only go for dicks not nice guys' myth.

Nobody said all women. I sent messages to women in a polite and respectable manner and got nothing. I sent that 'rude' message and got responses. Why? You may see that as rude yet other women responded to them fine with no problem at all. One has even given me her number now not that I'm really interested as I'm seeing someone but thats beside the point.

Whilst you may see such a message and think 'what an idiot', others have seen that message and thought enough of it to respond. Therein lies a problem. Just because you don't hold that view towards something it doesn't mean other women don't.

I personally would prefer to be with a woman who's polite and kind and treats people with respect - i certainly would have no interest in a woman who's happy to respond to a message like the one i posted above.

Reply 39