Women on OKCupid

Nobody said all women. I sent messages to women in a polite and respectable manner and got nothing. I sent that 'rude' message and got responses. Why? You may see that as rude yet other women responded to them fine with no problem at all. One has even given me her number now not that I'm really interested as I'm seeing someone but thats beside the point.

Whilst you may see such a message and think 'what an idiot', others have seen that message and thought enough of it to respond. Therein lies a problem. Just because you don't hold that view towards something it doesn't mean other women don't.

I personally would prefer to be with a woman who's polite and kind and treats people with respect - i certainly would have no interest in a woman who's happy to respond to a message like the one i posted above.

I hate gentleman bs to be honest, not my jam at all. All I look for in a relationship is a best friend.

Because responding doesn't necessarily mean they're into you. They get loads of messages, probably 90% of them from internet shy guys who are trying to be romantic. They see one that's different and interesting, they respond to it, at the very least to maybe prove they're not 'stuck up' to you. It's a clever play.

But women have different tastes. You can't hold that against an entire gender.

If a woman doesn't want a gentleman that is her prerogative and there is nothing wrong with that. I think you need to assess your identification as a feminist if this is not something you agree with.

Thats sexist towards men? If a man wants to be a gentleman surely thats his prerogative just as much as its a woman's prerogative to be attracted to men who are rude or have a bad attitude, is it not?

Respondception?

Also is that Aslan in your avi?

Yeah but I've tried the nice approach numerous times yet nothing. Hardly surprising I tested that message out. I only did it as a test, I'm not really like that. However, the saying is 'treat them mean, keep them keen' so i thought id try a message like that and low and behold...i get responses.

Its hilarious in a way. I just dont understand it myself.

Thats sexist towards men? If a man wants to be a gentleman surely thats his prerogative just as much as its a woman's prerogative to be attracted to men who are rude or have a bad attitude, is it not?

Hence why I usually employ it But OP is clearly a rude person anyway, as is evident from the message he said he sent. As a general rule, I'm rude to people if they are either rude to me or to others first, and he falls in to the latter category, so...

Yeah, sometimes guys just say they're "feminists" for all the wrong reasons TBH :/

The problem isn't that you were being nice. The problem was that you were doing what hundreds, thousands of other guys try to do. Online dating is an entirely different world, IRL being nice and getting along with someone can and does lead somewhere, online you're fighting to even get someone to look your way because it's an uber-competitive environment that is only concerned with romance, and one where people can easily ignore you.

So women on dating sites are a pretty special breed. When you get tons of guys messaging you trying to woo you it's a massive ego boost, and it also makes those sorts of messages one of many that they just don't pay much attention to (this doesn't happen often IRL of course, but the analogy would be someone who is constantly being approached by guys and waxed lyrical to about their hair and eyes. Pretty soon they would be hard to please and unmoved by such tactics). Being very direct makes you stand out and grabs their attention, and they probably appreciated someone who just said they wanted sex rather than trying to come across as their hitherto unknown soulmate.

So you are being rude to him based on a message he sent to other women even though he has explained it was a test. Even then the women he messaged replied positively. He has been civil from what I've read yet he is the rude person? I don't think so.

Thank you for your well thought out response. I cant rep you now as I've repped you recently but I will do once I can again for this post. Its nice that you also didn't just go off on a tirade of abuse.

Thanks. Faith in humanity restored.

So you are being rude to him based on a message he sent to other women even though he has explained it was a test. Even then the women he messaged replied positively. He has been civil from what I've read yet he is the rude person? I don't think so.

(1) Just because other people apparently "replied positively" doesn't mean it wasn't rude

(2) "It was just a test/research" is not an OK excuse for being rude, in fact that makes it worse in some ways. People are not someone's personal guinea-pigs.

(3) I explained this in one of my other posts

If I message them something nice on there and ask them on a date I get nothing from them. Not even a rejection via message.

I just messaged 4 women who were online with this:

'Im fed up of messaging women all this boring romance ****. I get no replies because you're all up yourselves. Do you want to bang or at least meet up? A yes or no will suffice. Thanks.'

Three of them responded within minutes (they were online) and 2 of them said they would continue messaging me. The other said my message was 'interesting and funny'.

Please explain yourselves.........why do you respond to that type of message and not the more gentleman approach?

You really don't need to use OK cupid.

You're right. I am seeing someone. I was doing it to prove a point/research etc. with a few mates.

I owe a mate of mine a pint now as I didn't get the number by being nice to someone. He said its almost impossible to get a response let alone numbers by being nice on there and he's pretty much right imo, although for some women this will of course be different.