Marrying someone much older/younger than you?
When people marry those 5-10 years (even decades) older and younger than them, do they ever take this into account?
Not to be morbid, but assuming that marriage is for life, you will be with someone when they die, too. Which means that, especially for women who marry older guys (as women tend to live longer than men on average), you will probably have less time to spend with them if there is an age difference.
Would you take this into account before marrying/not marrying someone where there was a large age difference?
Discuss
Not to be morbid, but assuming that marriage is for life, you will be with someone when they die, too. Which means that, especially for women who marry older guys (as women tend to live longer than men on average), you will probably have less time to spend with them if there is an age difference.
Would you take this into account before marrying/not marrying someone where there was a large age difference?
Discuss
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Original post by Padwas
well ideally the age gap would be +- 4 years
but you never really know who you fall for
hmm would i marry someone WAY older than me - no
way younger than me - most guys say yes but me no its creepy
but you never really know who you fall for
hmm would i marry someone WAY older than me - no
way younger than me - most guys say yes but me no its creepy
Same here
Really? I would have thought it was the opposite
What do you mean by way older btw? 
Original post by Alpha brah
Same here
Really? I would have thought it was the opposite What do you mean by way older btw?
Really? I would have thought it was the opposite
What do you mean by way older btw? by way older and younger i mean +-10 years
To be honest, I've seen relationships with hug age gaps work. Personally I'd like someone who was at most 5 years younger or older than me once I'm looking to marry someone, though at my current age I think 3 years is realistically the kinda maximum to go out with. I.e. Someone 19 youngest or 25 oldest.
I've never been attracted to anyone much older than 30 (to my knowledge) so I've never really had to think about it, but you can't help who you fall for - personally I don't think it would be a factor in any commitment decisions.
Original post by Padwas
by way older and younger i mean +-10 years
Ah right yeah, that does seem extreme.
Personally, I wouldn't like to date anyone more than 5 years older or younger, but on average I have more in common re: what I want from a relationship with guys 5 to 10 years older (I'm 20) which is annoying.
Original post by Hal.E.Lujah
To be honest, I've seen relationships with hug age gaps work. Personally I'd like someone who was at most 5 years younger or older than me once I'm looking to marry someone, though at my current age I think 3 years is realistically the kinda maximum to go out with. I.e. Someone 19 youngest or 25 oldest.
I didn't mean working generally, I meant just re: marriage/being in a long term relationship that doesn't end and the person dying
Sorry if it's morbid for Chat, lol... it just popped into my mind.Yeah, if you're younger age gaps do/seem to matter more I guess
Original post by Viva Emptiness
I've never been attracted to anyone much older than 30 (to my knowledge) so I've never really had to think about it, but you can't help who you fall for - personally I don't think it would be a factor in any commitment decisions.
I haven't fallen for anyone in particular
It was just a general question, although I am 20 and find myself much more attracted to guys in their mid to late 20s. It's not about money, I actually prefer working class guys. It's just that we seem to have a similiar outlook on life, I had to grow up quickly for reasons I'd rather not go into here.Original post by Alpha brah
I didn't mean working generally, I meant just re: marriage/being in a long term relationship that doesn't end and the person dying Sorry if it's morbid for Chat, lol... it just popped into my mind.
Yeah, if you're younger age gaps do/seem to matter more I guess
Sorry if it's morbid for Chat, lol... it just popped into my mind.Yeah, if you're younger age gaps do/seem to matter more I guess
Yeah, I think if I was 40 I would happily marry a 30 year old (
) and I'd consider maybe marrying a 50 year old (
), but as with most peeps on TSR it's hard to know because we're all teenagers and 20something year olds.
Original post by Alpha brah
I didn't mean working generally, I meant just re: marriage/being in a long term relationship that doesn't end and the person dying Sorry if it's morbid for Chat, lol... it just popped into my mind.
Yeah, if you're younger age gaps do/seem to matter more I guess
Sorry if it's morbid for Chat, lol... it just popped into my mind.Yeah, if you're younger age gaps do/seem to matter more I guess
It's the same as asking would you marry someone with a disorder that you knew would end their life early. If it is right, do it. I don't see a problem.
Original post by Hal.E.Lujah
Yeah, I think if I was 40 I would happily marry a 30 year old () and I'd consider maybe marrying a 50 year old (), but as with most peeps on TSR it's hard to know because we're all teenagers and 20something year olds.
) and I'd consider maybe marrying a 50 year old (), but as with most peeps on TSR it's hard to know because we're all teenagers and 20something year olds.Yeah, I guess so
I'm really more of a person for long term relationships and stuff, though (I might be harsh but personally I don't see the point in being with someone if there's not a chance I could marry them - it feels like what's right for me) which is why I'm worrying about this sort of thing now. I'd be surprised if I weren't married by 27 or 28, maybe 30 at the latest
Don't think it matters. One of you will have to watch another die anyway.
Original post by CJG21
It's the same as asking would you marry someone with a disorder that you knew would end their life early. If it is right, do it. I don't see a problem.
I'm not attracted to people much older than me so if I was single no I don't think I'll consider it. My husband is 2 years older than me and for me that's enough.
My mum on the other hand is married to someone 23 years older. She said she likes the age gap.
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My mum on the other hand is married to someone 23 years older. She said she likes the age gap.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Alpha brah
Yeah, I guess so
I'm really more of a person for long term relationships and stuff, though (I might be harsh but personally I don't see the point in being with someone if there's not a chance I could marry them - it feels like what's right for me) which is why I'm worrying about this sort of thing now. I'd be surprised if I weren't married by 27 or 28, maybe 30 at the latest
I'm really more of a person for long term relationships and stuff, though (I might be harsh but personally I don't see the point in being with someone if there's not a chance I could marry them - it feels like what's right for me) which is why I'm worrying about this sort of thing now. I'd be surprised if I weren't married by 27 or 28, maybe 30 at the latest
But what about when you can learn so much from them? Sometimes a relationship can be more of a learning process in which two people can grow up together, grow mature together, or find a new perspective they would never have seen if not for borrowing their partners eyes. Those don't have to last forever to be any less meaningful and beautiful.
(Inb4 applying my description to a one night stand, it still counts
)Original post by Hal.E.Lujah
But what about when you can learn so much from them? Sometimes a relationship can be more of a learning process in which two people can grow up together, grow mature together, or find a new perspective they would never have seen if not for borrowing their partners eyes. Those don't have to last forever to be any less meaningful and beautiful.
(Inb4 applying my description to a one night stand, it still counts)
(Inb4 applying my description to a one night stand, it still counts
)I agree that you can learn from them, too, I just don't think it's the best way to spend my time personally
I guess I am something of a long-term thinker, but if the choice was spending a year single and potentially meeting/dating a guy I could marry, versus a year in a relationship with a guy I knew I wouldn't marry, I'd choose the latter.I don't have them myself, but I'm sure one can learn pleeeenty from a one-night stand, nom saying?
Original post by Alpha brah
I agree that you can learn from them, too, I just don't think it's the best way to spend my time personally I guess I am something of a long-term thinker, but if the choice was spending a year single and potentially meeting/dating a guy I could marry, versus a year in a relationship with a guy I knew I wouldn't marry, I'd choose the latter.
I don't have them myself, but I'm sure one can learn pleeeenty from a one-night stand, nom saying?
I guess I am something of a long-term thinker, but if the choice was spending a year single and potentially meeting/dating a guy I could marry, versus a year in a relationship with a guy I knew I wouldn't marry, I'd choose the latter.I don't have them myself, but I'm sure one can learn pleeeenty from a one-night stand, nom saying?
That's fair enough and each to their own, but I just always felt like I wouldn't want to put too much on marriage if it was going to get in the way of me living. Like every girl I ask out isn't because I plan to maybe marry them, I just want to get to know them really.
And yeah, some girls have empty heads so it only takes one night to learn all you need to from them.
Original post by Hal.E.Lujah
That's fair enough and each to their own, but I just always felt like I wouldn't want to put too much on marriage if it was going to get in the way of me living. Like every girl I ask out isn't because I plan to maybe marry them, I just want to get to know them really.
And yeah, some girls have empty heads so it only takes one night to learn all you need to from them.
And yeah, some girls have empty heads so it only takes one night to learn all you need to from them.
Get to know in what sense?
Guys, too! But I'm sapiosexual, so even if I did do one night stands I doubt I'd go with those ones
I don't think you can attach that much importance to age, especially worrying about when someone might die. You could marry someone your age and they get hit by a bus the next day. Equally, you could marry someone significantly older than you and still enjoy a wonderful 20 years or more together.
If it's right, it's right. A shorter period of time with the right person is better than forever with the wrong person.
To clarify, I'm currently in a relationship with a much older man and I'm not much in favour of marriage. I didn't go looking for this, it just happened and it has completely changed my perspective on this. I don't think you can ever understand another person's relationship enough to comment on it.
If it's right, it's right. A shorter period of time with the right person is better than forever with the wrong person.
To clarify, I'm currently in a relationship with a much older man and I'm not much in favour of marriage. I didn't go looking for this, it just happened and it has completely changed my perspective on this. I don't think you can ever understand another person's relationship enough to comment on it.
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