Factors to consider when having a child
Hey guys I hope you are well just wondering what advice/tips would you given when considering the factors behind having a child.
Thanks
Thanks
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age, old enough to have had some carefree fun, young enough to have energy and to be around when your kids are older. I’d say 25-30 ideal
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with someone you fancy bringing up kids with, if at all possible. It’s a bit easier with two
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financially stable (often links to the first two bullets)
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feel enthusiastic about the idea
Does the child want to be born might be a big one
Original post by Little pecker
Does the child want to be born might be a big one
I wish I wasn't, given the current state of life
Original post by Zarek
•
age, old enough to have had some carefree fun, young enough to have energy and to be around when your kids are older. I’d say 25-30 ideal
•
with someone you fancy bringing up kids with, if at all possible. It’s a bit easier with two
•
financially stable (often links to the first two bullets)
•
feel enthusiastic about the idea
Another thing to add to this list
School catchment areas or homeschooling (if it's viable in your country)
Are you asking for yourself? If so, I'd say slow down as you're not yet married and don't have to think about having children yet and it's better focus on your marriage instead. However factors I find important are:
You and your spouse being certain you want a child and are able to cope with demands and meet it's needs.
• Finance: Can you afford the extra costs of a baby.
•Time: Do you have enough time to meet it's needs and spend time with it.
•Career: Do you have a sustainable job to support your family.
•Home: Do you have a suitable and secure place to live.
•Education on the matter: Do you know how to care for a child properly.
You and your spouse being certain you want a child and are able to cope with demands and meet it's needs.
• Finance: Can you afford the extra costs of a baby.
•Time: Do you have enough time to meet it's needs and spend time with it.
•Career: Do you have a sustainable job to support your family.
•Home: Do you have a suitable and secure place to live.
•Education on the matter: Do you know how to care for a child properly.
(edited 4 months ago)
Original post by Zarek
•
age, old enough to have had some carefree fun, young enough to have energy and to be around when your kids are older. I’d say 25-30 ideal
•
with someone you fancy bringing up kids with, if at all possible. It’s a bit easier with two
•
financially stable (often links to the first two bullets)
•
feel enthusiastic about the idea
The average age of a mother is now over 30. 25 is too young imho.
Original post by Muttley79
The average age of a mother is now over 30. 25 is too young imho.
I reckon it quite a challenge to develop your career and find someone you want to have kids with by 25. There’s something to be sad though for them being grown up while you’re in your 40s
Original post by Muttley79
The average age of a mother is now over 30. 25 is too young imho.
My Mother had her first child at 19, 2nd and 3rd in early twenties, last at 27. Those were the greatest days of her life and she feels that was the best time to have kids because many older people struggle with lack of energy and their adult lives being shaped and adapted to being childless. I think 30 is too late.
Original post by Zarek
I reckon it quite a challenge to develop your career and find someone you want to have kids with by 25. There’s something to be sad though for them being grown up while you’re in your 40s
I was just about to say. My Mother is 41 and my oldest sibling 22 and my youngest 15. My family likes how we are all grown (almost) but my mother is still on the younger side, she is through the hard and major years of raising children but is still young and able to have more independence. If you had your children in your 30s you would be middle aged by the time your kids were grown (In your 50s)
Original post by Little pecker
Does the child want to be born might be a big one
It doesn't get that much choice though.
Original post by Little pecker
Does the child want to be born might be a big one
You have to have them to check this one out mind
Original post by Zarek
You have to have them to check this one out mind
That‘s a you problem
Original post by Amb/conf
My Mother had her first child at 19, 2nd and 3rd in early twenties, last at 27. Those were the greatest days of her life and she feels that was the best time to have kids because many older people struggle with lack of energy and their adult lives being shaped and adapted to being childless. I think 30 is too late.
Not true nowadays - people have babies much later.
Several of my colleagues had babies in their late 30s and work full-time. Energy is not an issue.
I've thought about this a lot over the last few years.
1) Having found a committed and likeminded coparent.
2) Ability to provide all the essentials for a baby and child for at least 16-18 years.
Not just in financial terms; also in terms of stability, time, reasonably healthy genetics, a safe & comfortable living environment, emotional investment and adequate protection from the most obvious predators.
3) Capable of making provisions for a responsible adult that you can trust to look after the child's interests if the parents die or are incapacitated.
1) Having found a committed and likeminded coparent.
2) Ability to provide all the essentials for a baby and child for at least 16-18 years.
Not just in financial terms; also in terms of stability, time, reasonably healthy genetics, a safe & comfortable living environment, emotional investment and adequate protection from the most obvious predators.
3) Capable of making provisions for a responsible adult that you can trust to look after the child's interests if the parents die or are incapacitated.
Original post by Muttley79
The average age of a mother is now over 30. 25 is too young imho.
Not a good thing.
We have a low fertility rate which means that the native population is in decline. It means higher immigration, higher taxes and an aging population.
It's largely the result of reduced marriage rates caused by the atomization of society, weakening of the church and increased sexual promiscuity. People also have the wrong priorities.
Original post by Amb/conf
Are you asking for yourself? If so, I'd say slow down as you're not yet married and don't have to think about having children yet and it's better focus on your marriage instead. However factors I find important are:
You and your spouse being certain you want a child and are able to cope with demands and meet it's needs.
• Finance: Can you afford the extra costs of a baby.
•Time: Do you have enough time to meet it's needs and spend time with it.
•Career: Do you have a sustainable job to support your family.
•Home: Do you have a suitable and secure place to live.
•Education on the matter: Do you know how to care for a child properly.
You and your spouse being certain you want a child and are able to cope with demands and meet it's needs.
• Finance: Can you afford the extra costs of a baby.
•Time: Do you have enough time to meet it's needs and spend time with it.
•Career: Do you have a sustainable job to support your family.
•Home: Do you have a suitable and secure place to live.
•Education on the matter: Do you know how to care for a child properly.
Please pm me
Relevant factor is how much poop you want to have in your life.
Others already covered the main points. Most important point though is having a stable / secure environment to raise the kid in. 2 parents who genuinely care for one another, is pretty important. Some people these days like to overlook that for some reason.
I happened to be watching this video in the background, which might be relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=464SWQIDYxQ&list=WL&t=155
Also, not having kids 'too late' in life. Part of the issue are potential fertility problems and rising probability of birth defects. Another even larger part of the issue, is that some women start feeling like they have to 'rush' the childbearing process (which I obviously understand why). The trouble is people are more likely to make bad decisions when they are in a rush.
Not the other way round. Rushing the first part... is a terrible idea. These are probably the largest single decisions a person can make in their life. Leaving such important matters to the very last conceivable minute so you can 'enjoy your youth', and then rushing the process on the last minute, is plainly dysfunctional.
I'd rather have a kid with a woman in her late 30s who isn't rushing the process, than have a kid with a woman in her mid twenties who is rushing (although it rarely happens that way round). I think such a 'rushed' relationship has low odds off success, and having kids in such circumstances is a poor idea. Another part of the reason also is that I'd like to feel valued as a partner and spend that time together, and not just be a means to an end for her to conceive a kid.
I happened to be watching this video in the background, which might be relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=464SWQIDYxQ&list=WL&t=155
Also, not having kids 'too late' in life. Part of the issue are potential fertility problems and rising probability of birth defects. Another even larger part of the issue, is that some women start feeling like they have to 'rush' the childbearing process (which I obviously understand why). The trouble is people are more likely to make bad decisions when they are in a rush.
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First - find a suitable partner and take time to get to know them
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Second - then together decide when you want to have kids
Not the other way round. Rushing the first part... is a terrible idea. These are probably the largest single decisions a person can make in their life. Leaving such important matters to the very last conceivable minute so you can 'enjoy your youth', and then rushing the process on the last minute, is plainly dysfunctional.
I'd rather have a kid with a woman in her late 30s who isn't rushing the process, than have a kid with a woman in her mid twenties who is rushing (although it rarely happens that way round). I think such a 'rushed' relationship has low odds off success, and having kids in such circumstances is a poor idea. Another part of the reason also is that I'd like to feel valued as a partner and spend that time together, and not just be a means to an end for her to conceive a kid.
(edited 4 months ago)
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