Boyfriend continuously lied about watching porn?

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I understand completely how you're feeling.....there should be trust in any relationship, if he can't admit something to you or stop for the sake of a relationship with you then he's the one with the problem not you, don't worry about all these stating you shouldn't stop him watching porn, his eyes should be on you, in my eyes, he shouldn't need a quick release over anyone else!......some people like porn and some don't.....as for people saying the girls prudish and also commenting about her not being good in bed!........ Maybe its him he needs to learn a little on how to satisfy her and he's scared he'll let her down! So he acts all cool and tells her things that he's seen to intimidate her on thinking he's the bomb lol

My guy watches it and doesn't masturbate all the time and it really getting to me because he is lying too. I have told him I don't care because I watch it too my issue is that he watches it anytime he is alone or even with the boys at work and he is going to alot of trouble to hid it. We had sex 3 nights in a row missed one then I wanted sex its seems like anytime I want it he is doing a chore he hates but when he wants sex its all good. I have never knocked him back on sex. I love sex so my issue is that I feel he prefeers porn over me and I just don't satisfy him. I am a very sexual woman and for a guy who watches it so much doesn't bring a lot of new into the bedroom :-( i feel hurt and confused about this issue

What are you talking about? Do you know anything about how it affects couples psychologically? https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/inside-porn-addiction/201408/how-porn-really-affects-relationships Go ahead and check some data. I feel like it's so disrespectful and insensitive to throw away your partners feelings out of the window just to watch some porn. And this is supposedly someone you love...It really affects many people in a negative way. The lack of sex is proof that it affects him negatively as well. Not to mention lying straight into someones face.

Ugh...girls, stop projecting your insecurities onto your mans actions. It wasn't right for him to lie about it, but at the same time it wasn't right for you to put him in the position to feel he should lie about it. Watching porn is a normal thing, unless he has a severe psychological dependency or addiction (which is rare and totally not what is happening). Look, if him watching porn makes you uncomfortable, this doesn't indicate that you should talk to your man and suggest that he refrain from a very normal and typically harmless personal activity, this means that you have some personal insecurities that you need to grow up and deal with. Don't make your insecurities his problem...Jesus. now, if porn is taking presidency over your sex together, that's a reasonable thing to talk about. He doesn't need to be shamed out of watching porn or feel he needs to lie about it, but if your sexual needs are not bring met as a direct result of how often he turns to porn as an alternative, then talking about why that is and how to get your sexual needs met is reasonable. It boils down to this, if your sex life is good with him and he makes you feel happy and attractive in other ways, the that uncomfortable feeling you get with him watching porn...that's a you issue and you shouldn't make your partner deal with your issue by changing himself. Just tell him not to lie and apologize for being a crazy hoe and making your insecurities his problem...then go watch some porn.
(Written by 28yr old female with a boyfriend that watches porn nearly every day and makes me feel like the hottest **** to walk the earth even though I have cellulite, imperfect skin, and big Jew nose.) Those girls in the porn he's watching have insecurities too! We all do lol it's just part of being human, especially a female human lol but we can deal with it like big girls and let it the frick go and get on with our bad selves.

lol you people are insane. well guess what, looks like theres another issue that is almost to simliar to this. my boyfriend lies about watching porn he will tell me sometimes, but then lies about CUMMING . LMAO liek for realls i ****ing watch porn all the time and its hard to *** from it but i ****ing do. and he knows damn well i'm okay with it more then okay. so its a little freakish to be lying about watching it let alone ****ing cuming to it. as I too seen in his google actiivty thats what he was doing. i'm at a complete lost with it. and men are just liars, and those who watch porn BEWARE its not good. i have no problem with it . but this is proof right here that it most defiantly leads to secrets, lies, cheating, diecet . hold on to your men ladies. cause 20th century just toook over.

Original post by Rosie06

Me and my boyfriend have been together since June 2013. We had a fairly good sex life and I knew he watched porn occasionally but I didn't have much of a problem towards it seeing as we were only a few months into the relationship.

Around December time, it started to become a problem. He would brag to me about how he watched these certain pornstars and it really began to get to me so I decided to talk to him about it and explained how it was getting too much and he promised he would stop because he has me, and he loves and respects me.

During the next 8 months I still had my odd suspicions, especially as he seemed less and less interested in sex with me, but whenever I asked he swore he hadn't looked at it since December and he told me he believes it is extremely disrespectful. He even looked me straight in the eye on several occasions and promised he wasn't doing it behind my back. I told him that if he was doing it to tell me straight and to never lie, which yet again he agreed and promised with.

A few days ago I looked at my google search history to get on a page I had looked at previously, and my boyfriend uses my google account for YouTube. Then on my history I saw a lot of porn had been searched for and I know for a fact it wasn't me and only myself and my boyfriend have access to my google account.

At the time I was in a Skype call with him, so I instantly demanded the truth. He admitted to watching porn quite frequently and stated he had been lying straight to my face for months. I've been feeling sick and confused ever since, but it's definitely the lying that has got to me the most. He has sworn he's never going to do it again but after the 8 months of continuous lying and going behind my back, Can I trust him?

Also to mention that during these 8 months he's been refusing to do anything sexual to me, and isn't up for sex with me much anymore.

Some advice would be great and much appreciated, I'm just unsure if I can trust him again

You should be open and honest that trust has become a key barrier in your relationship. By lying boasting to you he is not only neglecting your feelings he is disrespecting you. In sum, they are being selfish. You should think about how these behaviours shape your relationship, so set boundaries and for your own sake don’t compromise on these. Whatever your red line is set it and if they cross it break it off. Trust and respect are important. Take care

(edited 5 years ago)

Thread is 3 years old...

dont think it matters. because being 3 years old . I was looking for answers my self and stumbled across this. even tho it doesnt explain everything but its quite evident .

Wow there are a lot of douche bags posting on here. Why would a guy need porn if he has a hot girlfriend and gets it? Do guys have such little control that not maturbating for one day is to hard? Porn is demeaning and messed up. There is a whole movie about how bad porn is

Im sorry but thats just dumb!! A women should have respect and should have morals if a women ask a guy to not whatch porn then he should respect her and do it if he lies about it then he shouldnt be in a relationship because he is just a boy who just wants to jerk off to pornstars. If i was you i wouldn't trust him and find someone else who will respect you!! Women who lets there guys whatch porn are just ignorant and have no respect for themselves or others i mean who wants to whatch other ppl have sex??

Original post by Anonymous

You really started to cause a problem when you told your boyfriend to stop watching porn. I can understand why what he was saying made you feel uncomfortable, but what he watches in private is absolutely none of your business insofar as he doesn't involve you in it. You should have simply told him that you'd rather not hear about it.

Maybe just tell him that his is a bit of a mess and you want everything out in the open, that he can watch what he wants but you aren't interested in hearing about it? I've got a suspicion he was probably trying to introduce something kinky into your relationship without explicitly requesting it.

It is ABSOLUTELY her business. Are you insane? Imagine feeling as though someone is constantly comparing you to a porn star??? Or like you are supposed to have a partnership where sex is intimidate and out of love then you see all this nasty **** they do instead??? Ha no

Original post by Scarecrowhunt

Wow there are a lot of douche bags posting on here. Why would a guy need porn if he has a hot girlfriend and gets it? Do guys have such little control that not maturbating for one day is to hard? Porn is demeaning and messed up. There is a whole movie about how bad porn is

Everyone taking up for the dude is also a dude who is also addicted to porn. When you’re in a relationship sex is meant to be intimate between the two of you unless you both decide otherwise... so

Original post by Bdabdoub

Everyone taking up for the dude is also a dude who is also addicted to porn. When you’re in a relationship sex is meant to be intimate between the two of you unless you both decide otherwise... so

that's ridiculous. you must be a teenage girl, or an old woman, lol. there's nothing wrong with watching porn. hell, sometimes my bf and i watch it together 😂 i can't imagine telling him off for jerking off to porn if he wants to, like who does that.

Run!! Get as far away as you can !! I'm 20 years into a relationship that has no communication no understanding and no hopes dreams or goals 😐 for years ive been asking myself to leave , why haven't I left .. because every once in a while I see the man I thought he was gonna be and so I hang on. Don't waste your time like I've wasted mine !!

my boyfriend likes to watch porn more than he has sex with me so why do men not just use there phone and tell their partners to go please themselves if the porn is only taking away from the relationship

I totally understand this - personally I can’t handle a relationship where my SO watches porn or only fans due to sexual exploitation, I’d never get them to stop but would simply show I’m unable to be with someone who watches it - and give them the option to leave there and then.
Truthfully if you let him and just asked simple things in the beginning and he’s lying, I’d think there is no hope 😔

Original post by Bdabdoub

It is ABSOLUTELY her business. Are you insane? Imagine feeling as though someone is constantly comparing you to a porn star??? Or like you are supposed to have a partnership where sex is intimidate and out of love then you see all this nasty **** they do instead??? Ha no

I COMPLETELY AGREE - porn is completely unrealistic and comparing a partner to a pornstar can cause a lot of insecurity and issues in a relationship especially when communication is broken-

Original post by Nononoelle

Ugh...girls, stop projecting your insecurities onto your mans actions. It wasn't right for him to lie about it, but at the same time it wasn't right for you to put him in the position to feel he should lie about it. Watching porn is a normal thing, unless he has a severe psychological dependency or addiction (which is rare and totally not what is happening). Look, if him watching porn makes you uncomfortable, this doesn't indicate that you should talk to your man and suggest that he refrain from a very normal and typically harmless personal activity, this means that you have some personal insecurities that you need to grow up and deal with. Don't make your insecurities his problem...Jesus. now, if porn is taking presidency over your sex together, that's a reasonable thing to talk about. He doesn't need to be shamed out of watching porn or feel he needs to lie about it, but if your sexual needs are not bring met as a direct result of how often he turns to porn as an alternative, then talking about why that is and how to get your sexual needs met is reasonable. It boils down to this, if your sex life is good with him and he makes you feel happy and attractive in other ways, the that uncomfortable feeling you get with him watching porn...that's a you issue and you shouldn't make your partner deal with your issue by changing himself. Just tell him not to lie and apologize for being a crazy *** and making your insecurities his problem...then go watch some porn.
(Written by 28yr old female with a boyfriend that watches porn nearly every day and makes me feel like the hottest **** to walk the earth even though I have cellulite, imperfect skin, and big Jew nose.) Those girls in the porn he's watching have insecurities too! We all do lol it's just part of being human, especially a female human lol but we can deal with it like big girls and let it the frick go and get on with our bad selves.

Did you (or half the people here) even read what the OP wrote?? She literally said she had no problem with porn.
It only became a problem for her when 1: He would brag about pornstars he jerked it to which is just insensitive because she is his partner, not a college frat buddy. 2. He stopped showing sexual interest in her.
ANY psychologist, marriage counsellor or sex therapist will tell you the second porn replaces real sex, it has become unhealthy and IS a problem. They will also then say its indicative of addiction or deeper problems as its taken priority over his relationship and a real sex life. So you are incorrect in saying he doesnt have a problem. Lastly, there are 2 layers to her issue and the porn was only 1.. and if you actually READ what she said, she literally says finding out he looked her in the eye and lied for 8 months straight was the most disturbing part for her, and has affected her trust with him in general. And in this she is 100% correct. Because if he can lie so easily about this, he can lie with such ease about anything/everything else and this will create trust issues and doubt from her in everything he says. Relationships with compulsive liars are difficult and is an issue all on its own seperate from porn.
I feel sorry for the OP that people took to attacking her instead of actually listening to what she was saying.

These people have no idea what they are talking about. If you set a boundary with your boyfriend that means he should respect it. If he doesn’t agree then he should have said that. Not went behind your back doing something he KNOWS will make you feel disrespected. You should leave this boy. Especially If porn is getting in the way of your sex life that’s a BIG NO. You are in a relationship, a monogamous relationship I’m assuming therefore that is TWO people. You and him. If he would rather watch some trash ass porn stars when it’s ALL acting not real life, then find a man who will value you and your body and soul and want YOU and respect your boundaries.

Samaraosborne01

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

Well you shouldn't have told him not to watch porn in the first place...As for the lack of sex talk to him and ask him why..

She can tell him to not watch porn. 😕 porn is cheating to others. Watching another girl that gets you off is wrong when you are in a relationship no reason they can’t ask you for nudes/videos. No reason for them to go have sex with the person they claim to love. If porn is effecting how someone feels and how the relationship is working out then it needs to go.

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