Should I stop being nice?

I'm a 16 year old nice lad. Respectful towards others, Kind, helpful etc. Shy towards girls. I hardly ever get in trouble in school or outside of school. I'm well mannered but sometimes abit annoying! However girls always go for the bad guys and basically push me aside without even giving me a chance to talk to them. I'm always nice to them as I open the door or hold the door for them, especially for the girl i like, however I'm to shy to talk to her and also she never talks to me, which I presume she doesn't like me. few days ago I said 'hi' to one of her friends and the friend said to me 'f___ off and don't talk to me ever again' I don't know why she reacted in that way, I've never been horrible to her or anything, she's fine with me now though. Like i said, I'm a nice guy to talk to when someone gives me a chance, very well mannered, funny and people say that I always put a smile on their faces even teachers. Not really flirtatious and not necessarily good looking thats why I've never had a girlfriend which is kind of embarrassing. I'm very good at football and at the moment I'm training with Accrington Stanley FC youth academy. Is it that I'm always nice to people that causes me getting pushed aside? Should I stop being kind to everyone or not?

Reply 1

Good Call

You should stop being nice and start being genuine. If the only reason you're 'being nice to people' is to get some benefit back then you should stop doing those things. Do nice things because you believe those things to be right, not because you'll get something in return. You'll respect yourself more that way.

Reply 2

heavyhandscott

21

Youre exactly like me. Most of the time being nice works but girls just throw it back in your face because they only want you to talk or whatever when THEY want.

Im 17 and after speaking to girls and having few short relationships (longest 2 weeks) I just dont talk to girls anymore im a really nice guy and deserve a nice girl but its just not worth my time and effort because all the mentioned occurred.

Dont worry, if you be nice to someone and the throw it back at ya, their loss.

You shold be nice but only to people who earn it. I have learned a lot about respect and know in my school who gets respect from me and who doesnt. Those who doesnt I have nothing to do with them. Simple as that. :smile:

Reply 3

Gax

16

Of course you should stop being nice! A woman wants a man not a soft, prissy marshmallow.

Reply 4

Pomum96

14

Original post by Fruitbatapple

I'm a 16 year old nice lad. Respectful towards others, Kind, helpful etc. Shy towards girls. I hardly ever get in trouble in school or outside of school. I'm well mannered but sometimes abit annoying! However girls always go for the bad guys and basically push me aside without even giving me a chance to talk to them. I'm always nice to them as I open the door or hold the door for them, especially for the girl i like, however I'm to shy to talk to her and also she never talks to me, which I presume she doesn't like me. few days ago I said 'hi' to one of her friends and the friend said to me 'f___ off and don't talk to me ever again' I don't know why she reacted in that way, I've never been horrible to her or anything, she's fine with me now though. Like i said, I'm a nice guy to talk to when someone gives me a chance, very well mannered, funny and people say that I always put a smile on their faces even teachers. Not really flirtatious and not necessarily good looking thats why I've never had a girlfriend which is kind of embarrassing. I'm very good at football and at the moment I'm training with Accrington Stanley FC youth academy. Is it that I'm always nice to people that causes me getting pushed aside? Should I stop being kind to everyone or not?

It's nice to be nice my darling. I am too sleepy to say anything of use. I am sorry darling. I hope it gets better. Good people deserve love and peanuts and I am hugging you through the screen.

Reply 5

Abstraction

8

Original post by Fruitbatapple

I'm a 16 year old nice lad. Respectful towards others, Kind, helpful etc. Shy towards girls. I hardly ever get in trouble in school or outside of school. I'm well mannered but sometimes abit annoying! However girls always go for the bad guys and basically push me aside without even giving me a chance to talk to them. I'm always nice to them as I open the door or hold the door for them, especially for the girl i like, however I'm to shy to talk to her and also she never talks to me, which I presume she doesn't like me. few days ago I said 'hi' to one of her friends and the friend said to me 'f___ off and don't talk to me ever again' I don't know why she reacted in that way, I've never been horrible to her or anything, she's fine with me now though. Like i said, I'm a nice guy to talk to when someone gives me a chance, very well mannered, funny and people say that I always put a smile on their faces even teachers. Not really flirtatious and not necessarily good looking thats why I've never had a girlfriend which is kind of embarrassing. I'm very good at football and at the moment I'm training with Accrington Stanley FC youth academy. Is it that I'm always nice to people that causes me getting pushed aside? Should I stop being kind to everyone or not?

You sound like a brilliant man, OP.

It takes strength to have compassion in a cruel world, not weakness. I certainly think you should be more, shall we say, economical concerning how well you treat women, because they are inherently abusers and exploiters of men. Don't deify them or believe them to be always worthy of outward shows of respect and attention, but at the same time don't let these people turn you into a man you do not want to be. Don't increase suffering, don't contribute to the amount of pain or bitterness in the world, no matter how many women will reward it. This is what they do. They degrade, abuse or ignore men who choose to be free, and who choose to be good and co-operative instead of ruthless, exploitative and vain. They thrive on it. Many guys find destroying other men or abusing women to be something respectable and profitable in their pursuit of women, and though they may seem to be getting the goodies, they really are doing little more than sacrificing valuable male friendships and their integrity on the altar of female worship, which really is of little intrinsic value. The path of the good man is, without a doubt, a lonely one, but you now have the choice to either take that path or the one of most men. Stay compassionate, stay pleasant and co-operative, but just be careful to not let people use you or step over you. Women, or men for that matter, are not and never will provide a good justification for abandoning moral integrity or empathy. Regardless of what others think, never compromise.

Reply 6

heavyhandscott

21

I said i was the same, oh well :frown:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

cole-slaw

5

Girls don't go for bad guys, they go for cool, interesting, exciting guys.

Its just that sometimes they're no so bright and are a bit **** at telling the difference.

Should I stop being nice?

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