Pit hair

Just tell her to shave?...

Look, I get it, we have a society which tells us that body hair is a male thing (which is so crazy that I don't know where to start) and that beauty standards for women are to shave. When you've grown up with those messages it's natural that you internalise them and judge yourself and others by those standards, it's not your fault you feel this way. However, it's all patriarchal bull****. Maybe this is a good opportunity to really think about your attitude to manliness and get over it, all women have arm pit hair and there's nothing gross about it. Shaving or not shaving is a personal choice, and it's important to think about what message you're sending if you do ask her to. She might not care, and be happy to do it, and that's fine.

On the other hand she might feel pressured into conforming to standards of beauty which unfairly put the onus on women to change themselves, which could potentially be painful for her. I think you need to think about that before you decide what to say to her. People in relationships do make sacrifices for one another and if a guy had a personal preference I'd consider it, but in this case it's not a personal preference of yours so much as a social ideal of women and the idea that women's natural bodies are 'gross' which is just offensive.

Look, I get it, we have a society which tells us that body hair is a male thing (which is so crazy that I don't know where to start) and that beauty standards for women are to shave. When you've grown up with those messages it's natural that you internalise them and judge yourself and others by those standards, it's not your fault you feel this way. However, it's all patriarchal bull****. Maybe this is a good opportunity to really think about your attitude to manliness and get over it, all women have arm pit hair and there's nothing gross about it. Shaving or not shaving is a personal choice, and it's important to think about what message you're sending if you do ask her to. She might not care, and be happy to do it, and that's fine.

On the other hand she might feel pressured into conforming to standards of beauty which unfairly put the onus on women to change themselves, which could potentially be painful for her. I think you need to think about that before you decide what to say to her. People in relationships do make sacrifices for one another and if a guy had a personal preference I'd consider it, but in this case it's not a personal preference of yours so much as a social ideal of women and the idea that women's natural bodies are 'gross' which is just offensive.

Ergh being hairy is very unfeminine.


Oh look another poor usage of the p word.
But honestly it is fundamental that women should groom themselves as women are not meant to be hairy.
Hairiness is very unnatractive and masculine.
And finally op has the right to feel the way he feels.

Uh, actually women ARE meant to have body hair, or we wouldn't have to shave it off. It's not like some women decide to take body-hair-growing drugs, that **** just grows whether we like it or not. I personally choose to shave, but we are 'meant' to have arm-pit hair, biologically speaking.

Then if you personally choose to shave, then what is the point in protesting your message?
Also, pit hair is useless,not attractive and as a boy/man I shave my pit hair too for hygiene purposes, so I expect women to be more strict when it comes to personal hygiene.

Tell her to shave.

It's ****ing disgusting, ignore all the feminazis that will swarm this thread with their usual women are repressed bull****.

Alright, as a not particularly hairy dude in a society where hair is seen almost exclusively as a manly thing, I'm not off to a particularly great start.

But there's this girl I like and we're doing something a bit chilled, we get on great, the issue is she is much hairier than me. I'll admit I do find a bit emasculating, as well as a bit gross (armpit hair is just one of those things I can't handle, it makes me think of men every time I see it and I'm straight).

I generally don't expect people to do anything to their bodies that I wouldn't do to myself, but I can't hold out any longer. I know it's shallow of me but it's such a turn off that I think I'll have to ask her to get rid of it at some point, because the relationship is entirely sexual and it's the least sexy thing I can imagine... How do I do that without being a total douche?

Your attitude is what is disgusting.

Your attitude is what is disgusting.

You just remember who you're talking to princess.

Sorry, who is it I'm talking to? I must have missed the memo.

I might give you an answer to that when I feel like it.