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Do I give my ex an ultimatum

Hi after 18 months together my bf ended things we were arguing loads and had different lives at different unis . He missed me though and we started talking and meeting up but it wasn't going anywhere and he wouldn't commit...result I started seeing a guy from my course but after just 2 dates I had to pull the plug because I was pining for my ex. He has now agreed to meet next weekend but has already said he is too hurt to contemplate taking me back at the moment but wants to maintain contact and 'see how things go ' my friends say I'm just where I was before waiting waiting waiting for him to make up his mind while he gets on with his life ... How long do you wait in these situations because I do love him but don't want to just be on the back burner forever ?