First year is over and I still don't have 'course friends.'

I've just finished my first year of University and I'm kind of dreading going back in second year purely because I haven't made any friends on my course. I'm majorly worried about being a loner in second and third years :frown:

I was originally doing a combined degree and I noticed straight away that I made more friends in one of the subjects than the other. I ran into more people doing that subject during freshers and was able to make several friends on the course. For the other subject I made friends with 2 girls and we would go to lectures together. I do get on with them really well, but was hoping to meet more people because they were doing a more specialised programme that was a different course to mine, and I knew our module choices would be different later on. I found a lot of other people made friends with people in their tutor groups but my tutor group were all boys, and hardly of them attended tutorials. A lot of other people on more specialised courses had groups on Facebook which was how they met people.

Anyhow, I ended up changing courses in second semester so I was doing the subject that I'd hardly made any friends in as a full degree. I hoped during this semester I'd meet more people because I was in more lectures and I'd see more people, but I found that solid groups had formed and some of the people that I did talk to, I couldn't seem to get past small talk with. I've found the whole thing really disheartening, and upsetting because it's horrible going to a lecture and hearing groups around you laughing and talking when you're completely by yourself and know no one. Outside of my course I've made a really good group of friends which I'm really happy with, and I keep trying to tell myself it doesn't matter that things haven't worked out for me course wise because I've got such a good group outside of the course - but I can't seem to shake how sad the whole situations making me feel. I'm worried about coming across as desperate and it being off putting if I just throw myself out there next year, but I don't know how else to turn things around, and I don't want to go through the next 2 years with things the way they are now.

Reply 1

mjrd

At least you have mates outside the course. At least you can put on your cv that you can work as part of a team but you can also work alone lol. Im always on my own in college. I like being alone as i have autism and need chill time to zone out but it would be nice to have some mates but everyone thinks im either weird or thinks i want to be alone. O well atmo my studies are more important. People often say there is nothing worse than being all alone, but there is, being all alone in a crowded room! Dont let it ruin your second year, get your degree and make mates in your future work place.

Reply 2

jonathanemptage

Not all courses are very social I expected to have mates in halls I got on with one girl but was pretty much alienated by everyone else I had mates from societies and stuff you won't find friends everywhere just concentrate on the friends you have made easy no

Reply 3

VladThe1mpaler

im kind of the same, i have some people on my course that i speak to but i don't think i would call any of them "friends" because we haven't really met up outside uni

Reply 4

somemightsay888

I know that feel OP :console:

Uni loneliness can be awful. However, you seem to have made friends outside your course, maintain those friendships and focus on them. Being more friendly won't come across as desperate, nobody wants to sit through a year silent and alone; you've had a bit of time to see people talking etc, you must have heard conversations. Talk to those you think you'll have the most in common with.

Reply 5

amigafan2003

Neither do I but I avereged 96% on my assignments, so I don't care.

Reply 6

aspiemum

Hi, I am looking through this site as I am the Mother of a girl who has Aspergers and she starts uni this September. I have seen that you have autism as well. I am really worried that she wont speak to anyone, Does anyone from the uni help you settle in.check that you are ok? My daughter needs time by herself but I am so hoping that she will make friends......

Reply 7

mjrd

Original post by aspiemum

Im in 6th form coll atmo so not yet in uni. I was going to apply but i dnt feel ready for uni life. I dnt want to do a gap yr eitha as i need to keep learning as i tent to forget things if i dnt keep practicing so i decided to do some more A levels tho im goin to change coll and therefore push myself more out of my comfort zone. The neq co is about 7 miles away so i will have to catch a bus for the first time, tho i am learning to drive so hopefully the bus thing wont be for long. This summer im going to do lots of firsts and push myself each day. I will make the shopping list and go shopping ect, i already do lots of cleaning. Im going to do more voluntary work and im going to walk around town, do things normal people take for granted but things i find hard to do but skills i will need for uni. I suggest pushing your daughter too and def speak to the uni, they should help and she might even get xtra cash, dsa, so check it out. See if there are any groups there that she likes, as an aspie i dnt talk much but if its a subjwct or interest you cant shut me up, i will talk about scuba diving all day long, im a master scuba diver and joined a small club here. Try to prepare her as much as poss, aspies dont like change but if we sre prepared for it its a lot easier. Pm me if you want.