Aimed too high academically :(

I've aimed too high and it's ruining me.

I've always been the best at Maths in my school, so it was normal for me to gain confidence from that. I do Maths, Further Maths, Physics, Economics. Being confident, I aimed for the highest University and Course that I wanted to do: Computer Science w/Maths at Cambridge.

I've now realised, after my AS levels, that I absolutely hate studying. I'm so lazy, I have no motivation to care. I'll have good AS UMS results (defo >90 UMS) but I just know as a fact it's not good enough. All these extra things we have to do, I just can't be bothered. EPQ, UCL Summer Challenge, Wider reading, work placements, personal statements ect has just made me so bored by education. I haven't turned up for lessons in months, get loads of phone calls home, parents moan at me etc, but I just don't see the point and I want a break.

I felt so deflated after exams. Now I worry that it only gets more intense, and that I'd hate doing an intensive degree. But the main problem is, everyone around me expects me to get to Cambridge. I'm at a state school, free school meals, never stood out until like year 10 because I've always been lazy.

I can't bare the idea of letting everyone down, but I do not think I could handle intensive study. It's just not what I was meant to do, I was meant to cruise through.

Does anybody else feel really deflated after exams and worry that they'll let their parents down? My parents constantly say stuff like "Oh when you get to Cambridge..." and "After you've got your first from Cambridge, you can take over my business" etc etc etc no supporting words just expectation. I'm not even anything special, but my expectations are too high because I originally thought I was good enough.

Don't know what to do, my parents sometimes pretend it'll be fine if I don't get an offer from Cambridge, but I just know as a fact they'd be so so so so unhappy at me. It's just how my parents are. And I have absolutely no idea what to do. I was always told to be ambitious but it does no good for me, I've aimed too high.

More of a needed rant, would love any sort of personal similar stories or simply some comforting words, and I'm really sorry if this seems attention seeking/ annoying or was a waste of your time :'(

you say you'll have very good as results, but then say its not good enough. I don't understand what you mean?

I know what you mean- you're not alone. The exam treadmill is enough to wear anyone out and put them off education. Just have a nice break and after a bit I'm sure you'll regain some enthusiasm. And as for Cambridge, it's not the be all and end all. It might be better to go to a Uni where you can find your feet a little. It's your life, remember, not your parent's. On the other hand, don't entirely disregard it- you may feel differently later. Just do what you want to do.

Winners are too busy to be sad,
too positive to be doubtful,
to optimistic to be fearful,
and too determined to be defeated.

Winners are too busy to be sad,
too positive to be doubtful,
to optimistic to be fearful,
and too determined to be defeated.

I've aimed too high and it's ruining me.

I've always been the best at Maths in my school, so it was normal for me to gain confidence from that. I do Maths, Further Maths, Physics, Economics. Being confident, I aimed for the highest University and Course that I wanted to do: Computer Science w/Maths at Cambridge.

I've now realised, after my AS levels, that I absolutely hate studying. I'm so lazy, I have no motivation to care. I'll have good AS UMS results (defo >90 UMS) but I just know as a fact it's not good enough. All these extra things we have to do, I just can't be bothered. EPQ, UCL Summer Challenge, Wider reading, work placements, personal statements ect has just made me so bored by education. I haven't turned up for lessons in months, get loads of phone calls home, parents moan at me etc, but I just don't see the point and I want a break.

I felt so deflated after exams. Now I worry that it only gets more intense, and that I'd hate doing an intensive degree. But the main problem is, everyone around me expects me to get to Cambridge. I'm at a state school, free school meals, never stood out until like year 10 because I've always been lazy.

I can't bare the idea of letting everyone down, but I do not think I could handle intensive study. It's just not what I was meant to do, I was meant to cruise through.

Does anybody else feel really deflated after exams and worry that they'll let their parents down? My parents constantly say stuff like "Oh when you get to Cambridge..." and "After you've got your first from Cambridge, you can take over my business" etc etc etc no supporting words just expectation. I'm not even anything special, but my expectations are too high because I originally thought I was good enough.

Don't know what to do, my parents sometimes pretend it'll be fine if I don't get an offer from Cambridge, but I just know as a fact they'd be so so so so unhappy at me. It's just how my parents are. And I have absolutely no idea what to do. I was always told to be ambitious but it does no good for me, I've aimed too high.

More of a needed rant, would love any sort of personal similar stories or simply some comforting words, and I'm really sorry if this seems attention seeking/ annoying or was a waste of your time :'(

I used that to motivate me all year but now it's stopped working. I feel deflated like you OP. At least you're confident about your UMS

just wanna say, thank you for this. it's one of the few times i've ever been truthful from my heart aha.
i'm saying so, because of the OPs' post and how much i relate to it (especially after doing my exams). this quote.. is just beautiful

I understand you completely, and you're not attention seeking, you're asking for people to tell you they get it. It's okay, we do get it, and you're most definitely not alone here I've always aimed high, and always had expectations from so many people to be so much and do so much. I'm still feeling it as I wait for my a level results to get onto a competitive course.
But this is your summer to unwind, take a step back and decide what it is you want to do and how you want to do it.

Decaffeinated is absolutely right, your course is unlikely to demand all of these extra things at any other uni, and also that Cambridge is often just a badge, so please don't worry about not making it in.

One thing I can say with absolute certainty is that ambition cannot ruin you. Ambition can only drive you - it's personal fears and doubts that cause the turbulence. I can see that this has reached a point where it's all got on top of you. I've been there. I dealt with it in the most basic way possible. I stopped all thoughts and made myself answer the question, why are you doing this?
Write a list, draw a mindmap, whatever, just boil everything down to what do you want?
Redefine your idea of academic success, happiness and achievement as simply as possible (pleasing your parents should come last here, if at all). Only then do you need to think about how you might get there. Break it down into steps and stages. It's amazing how much less daunting A levels can seem once you break it down. Your current line of thought is a downward spiral, but it's also possible to spiral upwards too. The first stage is to take a break from everything to do with school and then you can take a fresh look at things.

Getting organised from day one of A2 (I sound so boring!) makes it so much easier. Do assignments as soon as possible, and go back over material often but only for short lengths of time. This will help prevent the tedium and will stop the workload piling up and looking scary but probably the best solution for your lack of incentive is to find a way to re-engage with a subject. Make it interesting for yourself. People have no problem reciting facts or spewing verbal essays about their favourite musician. Why? Because they're studious? No, because they love the topic! I studied Physics, and I know it's really tough, but I made it into a game. I made solving puzzles fun, I followed IFL science because they bring crazy articles about Physics to my newsfeed, and I practiced questions so often that it became comfortably familiar, like someone asking you to recommend a particular model of laptop. You have to draw on knowledge, but it's all there because you've exposed yourself to it that often.

Step back, define your goals, search the quadrillion different courses you could do other than this one, break down your study and HAVE FUN!! I pulled myself out of the hole you're in now by doing this. I really, really, really hope it can help you. But if you take anything from this, just remember that this is all about you.

Keep us posted please!

Yeah I know exactly how you feel mate. I felt nearly the same way in y12. All that extra stuff (summer schools whatnot) is totally unnecessary, I didn't do any of that and got an offer (Cambridge CS w/maths). You seem to have worked incredibly hard in y12 and have been seriously burned out by it, which is exactly what happened to me last year. Don't worry about your parents, they love you and will be happy for you no matter where you go. Do NOTHING for the next few weeks, you HAVE to relax to let your mind and body recover from this, don't even think about university till the last couple of weeks of summer. And take it easy next year as well. My thought process this year has been "If I can get in by doing x amount of work, then great. Otherwise I don't want to go, I don't think I'd be able to cope" and I've made my peace with that, my sanity is more important than going to Cambridge or whatever.

What grades do you think you will achieve in August?

I've aimed too high and it's ruining me.

I've always been the best at Maths in my school, so it was normal for me to gain confidence from that. I do Maths, Further Maths, Physics, Economics. Being confident, I aimed for the highest University and Course that I wanted to do: Computer Science w/Maths at Cambridge.

I've now realised, after my AS levels, that I absolutely hate studying. I'm so lazy, I have no motivation to care. I'll have good AS UMS results (defo >90 UMS) but I just know as a fact it's not good enough. All these extra things we have to do, I just can't be bothered. EPQ, UCL Summer Challenge, Wider reading, work placements, personal statements ect has just made me so bored by education. I haven't turned up for lessons in months, get loads of phone calls home, parents moan at me etc, but I just don't see the point and I want a break.

I felt so deflated after exams. Now I worry that it only gets more intense, and that I'd hate doing an intensive degree. But the main problem is, everyone around me expects me to get to Cambridge. I'm at a state school, free school meals, never stood out until like year 10 because I've always been lazy.

I can't bare the idea of letting everyone down, but I do not think I could handle intensive study. It's just not what I was meant to do, I was meant to cruise through.

Does anybody else feel really deflated after exams and worry that they'll let their parents down? My parents constantly say stuff like "Oh when you get to Cambridge..." and "After you've got your first from Cambridge, you can take over my business" etc etc etc no supporting words just expectation. I'm not even anything special, but my expectations are too high because I originally thought I was good enough.

Don't know what to do, my parents sometimes pretend it'll be fine if I don't get an offer from Cambridge, but I just know as a fact they'd be so so so so unhappy at me. It's just how my parents are. And I have absolutely no idea what to do. I was always told to be ambitious but it does no good for me, I've aimed too high.

More of a needed rant, would love any sort of personal similar stories or simply some comforting words, and I'm really sorry if this seems attention seeking/ annoying or was a waste of your time :'(

This is why I no longer want to study medicine at University- there's just too much work placements, voluntary work and extracurricular activities you're expected to do on top of achieving high grades which I don't think i'll think i'll be able to handle very well. Plus, being a doctor probably isn't the right career for me- especially since I mainly wanted to do it for the money. Instead, I think i'd rather study something such as pharmacology which is more specific and perhaps less demanding (although you still need high grades to get in but i think they are achievable).
After reading your post it seems that you are very intelligent and are more than capable of doing the course that you want but I think you are putting too much stress on yourself like I was with medicine. The future can seem very overpowering when we try and plan all of it in one go. It's beneficial to just sit down and think through all the options you can take and bear in mind that you don't HAVE to do anything specific because there's always something else that you could be doing.
Since it's summer, I think the best to do is to just relax your mind and recover from what exams have done to you... They are now over and you can temporarily let go from all of the intensive study you have been doing recently. Perhaps in a couple of weeks you may feel as though you want to go to Cambridge again

90 UMS is great, good enough for anywhere. Don't give up yet but also make sure you do what you think you'd enjoy not what you think you should be doing. Honestly you sound like you've either burnt out or have mild clinical depression ): take a little break from everything and if you still feel so down & hopeless then go to your GP.