Mark Kermode Appreciation Society

Mark Kermode is a king among men. If you don't listen to Radio 5 Live between 3 - 4pm every Friday, what the hell are you doing with your life?

His review slot is one of the most entertaining things on the radio, and his rants are just fantastic. In case you've never heard any of his work, here's what he had to say about The Holiday:

"It says on the poster, '12a, contains strong language and moderate sex references'. What it doesn't say on the poster is 'likely to make your intestines jump up your throat and strangle your head so that you can stop enduring this absolute ghastly nonsense."

If you go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/fivelive/entertainment/kermode_archive_a2z.shtml there's an A-Z archive of his reviews over the last couple of years. Some of them aren't there for copyright reasons, and in some cases I wouldn't be surprised if some of them aren't available because the film's makers thought his review would be too damaging (e.g. Pirates of the Caribbean).

If you have time (if you don't have time, make time), listen to the following reviews:

Revolver - not just for the review, but for the quite nauseating extract from an interview with Guy Ritchie.

In Her Shoes - "No, I'm sorry. It's not a chick flick, it's an 'insert the other word that I'm not gonna mention here". 6 minutes into the show.

Elizabethtown - "I was swimming up the aisle of vom".

The Da Vinci Code - "TURN THE LIGHT ON!!"

Little Man - "I have seen some films that I consider to be grotesque, but I struggle to think of one more grotesque than Little Man. It is in every way an evil-minded, bad, profoundly depressing indictment of the way the modern movie industry works". The review starts on 32 minutes :smile:

Get Rich or Die Tryin' - "It stars a man who can't even play himself".

There are countless other fantastic rants hidden away in the archive. But he's not good just because he gets angry. His reviews are extremely well-informed, he's a very intelligent guy and he is very rarely wrong about the merits or otherwise of a certain film. I don't go to the cinema very often, but I always listen to his review either before or after I've seen a film.

There's already a society like this on Facebook, but hey... this isn't Facebook. Enjoy!

Reply 1

FranzFan

Yeah, the guy's awesome. My personal favourite rant is his one about The Holiday but there's many great moments to choose from. Mayo is pretty ace too. Kermode is definetely the best film critic around too, i rarely disagree with his views and Pan's Labyrinth WAS without question the best film of last year. Nice to see his fanbase growing. I'm jelous of his hair too

Reply 2

Polar Claire

Haven't heard his radio show tbh, but he does reviews on the culture show (bbc2), pure genius! He's everything a critic should be - funny, intelligent and not afraid to have his own opinions - which are actually depressingly rare qualities in film critics.

Oh yeah, then there's the hair, & the glasses... come on, you know you would too :P

Reply 3

ScarecrowJack

He's probably the only critic I've actually listened to their opinions of because they generally tend to mirror mine, so he's a sort of litmus test for films I will like if you will. It was also funny seeing DiCaprio's stonyfaced response to Kermode telling him he forgave him for Titanic.

Reply 4

mm2005

Yes He's great. Did you hear the story when he told people to rush out of a film saying "That's the end of narrative cinema as we know it" and somebody did, a girl then came up to him because she had heard MK tell people to do it, and they are now a couple. Sweet

Reply 5

FranzFan

mm2005

Awwww-i knew about MK telling people to dot hat but i didn't know it had spawned love

Reply 6

King Hippo

He's my hero - my favourite critic of all time.

I'm a professional critic and Kermode is the man I look up to and aspire to be like. Every single opinion he's made I completely agree with, right down to his love for The Exorcist (which I believe is much more than a scary film with head-spinny bits).

My favourite "Kermode on Five Live" moment was when he was talking about a film (can't remember which one, unfortunately) and he said that "the screenwriter should be taken outside and shot dead in front of his friends", to which Simon Mayo replied "steady on, mate". :biggrin:

I like Kim Newman too, but Kermode will always be the greatest.

Reply 7

À la mode

I think he is an absolute legend, even better is he now has a podcast with each review so you never miss it! I can't remember the link but I'm sure if you did a search on itunes or bbc it'd be there. He's not just funny, but for the most part I agree with his view.