The Student Room Group

Lost my last close friend

I have been struggling to cope with severe depression for the last year - more specifically it's been much more severe in the last 3 months. All my 'friends' have either drifted or said they can be friends anymore. I know depression can take a toll on most people since I've experienced it with others, however I wouldn't walk away. I feel more alone than ever, guilty for even having something I can't control and now I feel lonely. I meet had much of a family, so I relied on having friends to make me happy but all my best friends this year have all walked away. I had tried finding ways of dealing with my depression so it wouldn't affect anyone, but it was hard process - I was in and out of a&e and finally been referred to psychiatrists. I was actively seeking help, I'd always go out, but now I feel lonely which has made me feel worse. How do you make friends now after uni ? I go to clubs and support groups but it tends to be older people who only interact amongst their age group. I just feel hopeless.
Original post by Retroandbeyond
I have been struggling to cope with severe depression for the last year - more specifically it's been much more severe in the last 3 months. All my 'friends' have either drifted or said they can be friends anymore. I know depression can take a toll on most people since I've experienced it with others, however I wouldn't walk away. I feel more alone than ever, guilty for even having something I can't control and now I feel lonely. I meet had much of a family, so I relied on having friends to make me happy but all my best friends this year have all walked away. I had tried finding ways of dealing with my depression so it wouldn't affect anyone, but it was hard process - I was in and out of a&e and finally been referred to psychiatrists. I was actively seeking help, I'd always go out, but now I feel lonely which has made me feel worse. How do you make friends now after uni ? I go to clubs and support groups but it tends to be older people who only interact amongst their age group. I just feel hopeless.


I didn't, I bought 2 cats instead. They love me unconditionally and I them.
I'm sorry you're struggling and your friends have given up on you but believe me it's not your fault. People suck - I find it much easier to be alone and rely on myself. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy company, but I've learnt to be comfortable on my own. My advice to you is to just go out. It'll keep you busy so you're not stuck at home all day (makes you feel awful) and you will make friends. I always go out for lunch/coffee/to the cinema alone and somehow manage to get talking to a few people and make friends. I've also made a lot of friends from work - do you have a job?
Original post by Retroandbeyond
I have been struggling to cope with severe depression for the last year - more specifically it's been much more severe in the last 3 months. All my 'friends' have either drifted or said they can be friends anymore. I know depression can take a toll on most people since I've experienced it with others, however I wouldn't walk away. I feel more alone than ever, guilty for even having something I can't control and now I feel lonely. I meet had much of a family, so I relied on having friends to make me happy but all my best friends this year have all walked away. I had tried finding ways of dealing with my depression so it wouldn't affect anyone, but it was hard process - I was in and out of a&e and finally been referred to psychiatrists. I was actively seeking help, I'd always go out, but now I feel lonely which has made me feel worse. How do you make friends now after uni ? I go to clubs and support groups but it tends to be older people who only interact amongst their age group. I just feel hopeless.


Sorry that your friends have given up on you. I'm my opinion true friends will not walk away from you when you need them at the most. Depression is not your fault and you cannot just snap out of it like lots of people would expect. I understand how frustrating it is to be literally screaming for help and even those that chose to help you quickly decide to give up. I was never depressed but I used to feel lonely because I never had many friends but I learnt how to be comfortable on my own for sometime which was difficult but I did it. But I guess its hard for you to try to cope on your own with depression- have you tried "group counselling" if it is available? It will mean you meet people with similar or the same mental health problems and they will understand and not leave you. When your feeling lonely/depressed try to go for a long walk and pay attention to the birds singing etc.. it may help you feel better.
Original post by mollyxrose
I'm sorry you're struggling and your friends have given up on you but believe me it's not your fault. People suck - I find it much easier to be alone and rely on myself. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy company, but I've learnt to be comfortable on my own. My advice to you is to just go out. It'll keep you busy so you're not stuck at home all day (makes you feel awful) and you will make friends. I always go out for lunch/coffee/to the cinema alone and somehow manage to get talking to a few people and make friends. I've also made a lot of friends from work - do you have a job?


I do keep busy with having interests and hobbies, i just finished uni and now I'm looking for the job, in hope it may give me purpose and like you say make friends. I don't have a problem making friends, i just struggle to keep a happy face all the time like i used to, and people don't want to be around unhappy people lol. It hurts more, especially when you have been such good friends to people, and helped them out even in their most 'unloveable' of times, but never can be reciprocated.
Original post by Retroandbeyond
I do keep busy with having interests and hobbies, i just finished uni and now I'm looking for the job, in hope it may give me purpose and like you say make friends. I don't have a problem making friends, i just struggle to keep a happy face all the time like i used to, and people don't want to be around unhappy people lol. It hurts more, especially when you have been such good friends to people, and helped them out even in their most 'unloveable' of times, but never can be reciprocated.


Its good that you are trying to keep busy.To be honest I don't think anyone can keep a happy face all the time. Its ok to be unhappy, everyone has their unhappy days and if your friends can't cope with the reality than maybe they aren't good friends?
Original post by Retroandbeyond
I do keep busy with having interests and hobbies, i just finished uni and now I'm looking for the job, in hope it may give me purpose and like you say make friends. I don't have a problem making friends, i just struggle to keep a happy face all the time like i used to, and people don't want to be around unhappy people lol. It hurts more, especially when you have been such good friends to people, and helped them out even in their most 'unloveable' of times, but never can be reciprocated.


It 100% sucks that you can give someone a lot of your time, love and effort for them to be so unwilling to return it. Not all people are like that though. It's very easy for me to say this but I'm sure you'll be able to find good friends willing to put up with you at your worst when necessary. I feel for you rn though, I've been through the same and it makes you feel incredibly lonely. Try and keep focused on the good things.
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I know how hard a metaphorical pit can be. The best thing you can do is count on yourself. Its hard and requires effort, but start making positive changes. I lost a lot of my friends and all of my family over something as trivial as religion. The best thing is to tell yourself it doesnt have to be this way.

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