Fallen in love with a friend

I don't think going for a meal or doing something just on their own would work tbh because if you're that close you probably do that stuff anyway. I mean with my best friend we'll both make a huge effort with each other (well beyond what most people would normally do for a friend) and always meet up and go for a walk, go for dinner, go on a night out, watch films together, we've been on holiday together, she'll get changed in front of me etc. If you do these things with someone you haven't known long then it is obvious what the intentions are but it's different with a best friend, you just don't see anything sexual at all because it feels so wrong.

To be honest the only way you'll find out is if you're blunt and spell it out for him. Being subtle or trying to hint won't work. If you've been close for years it probably wouldn't change anything in the long term anyway.



A lot of people won't do anything with someone they get along well with. There's just too much risk.

Maintaining the friendship is definitely important to me, In fact i'd bring that up even if we did end up together. Because the friendship has led me to feel this way about him, so I wouldn't want to lose that either way. Its scary jumping into a relationship with someone you're good friends with because I wouldn't want anything to change..

As the old saying goes: he who hesitates is lost. If you are sure of your feelings for him, you need to tell him. It's a risky strategy but the alternative is unrequited love in which your life will be placed in stasis indefinitely.

Confronting it will give you an answer either way. Then you know where you both stand and can make your plans accordingly.

Waiting for him to make the first move is a risk you will lose him to someone else.

So is it more of a case of you wanting to have him as a friend, but don't want him to have a girlfriend because that would weaken your friendship, so instead you would settle for a relationship?

Lovr will destroy everything. Stay friends.

This is my exact fear. Have you had any experiences?

Don't ever make the first move, that's for him to do, not you.

I am kind of in the same situation. Except that I'm 100% sure she only likes me as a friend. So there's no point in telling her.

Imo, if you think you have a chance AND if you can't live like that anymore, just tell him. I know it's hard to lose a good friend (maybe you won't lose him but things will be different, even if you both say it won't) but it's really hard to be friends with a person you like that much. Otherwise, stay friends.

I chose to stay friends because I have basically no chance. But if things don't change (i.e. I still have feelings for her in a few months) I think I'll just tell her and forget her. It's just too hard.

Yep.
It blinds you. It makes you drop everything. It takes over you. It makes you irrational.
Love is dangerous. Beware.

Yeah it really is difficult to stay as just friends and wanting more from the other person, so I'm sorry to hear about your situation.. Its just difficult opening up to someone when you're unsure of how how they feel in return

Don't ever make the first move, that's for him to do, not you.

Do you think its wrong for me to even drop hints? how long am I supposed to wait?

How progressive.

Girls can make the first move, but not after 2+years of being together. Rarely does that lead to anything good, if its taken this long chances are the boy just wants to remain friends so I wouldn't do it.

I am kind of in the same situation. Except that I'm 100% sure she only likes me as a friend. So there's no point in telling her.

Imo, if you think you have a chance AND if you can't live like that anymore, just tell him. I know it's hard to lose a good friend (maybe you won't lose him but things will be different, even if you both say it won't) but it's really hard to be friends with a person you like that much. Otherwise, stay friends.

I chose to stay friends because I have basically no chance. But if things don't change (i.e. I still have feelings for her in a few months) I think I'll just tell her and forget her. It's just too hard.

Yes. I feel the same thing as you don't worry we're both in the same boat

We're ****ed either way. We don't tell them we won't stop suffering, we do and they don't feel the same way we'll lose a really good friend...