falling inlove again after rejection

this is going to be lengthy, but i appreaciate any help i could get on this. i have tried asking on reddit, but somehow i got banned so no one was able to respond to my post.

i have been best friends with this guy for almost 3 years. he's really funny, nerdy and nice. i fell inlove with him around a year and a half ago, but sadly he didn't see me in the same way, and wanted to keep being close friends with me. ever since then, (thanks to my help and advice), he's been taking care of his looks way more and going to the gym (he was always good looking but now he's even better). additionally, he went from being introverted to being popular with guys, and unsurprisingly girls too.

when he talks to me about other girls, or tells me about the women he'd wanna date, or joke around about other girls with his friends, it's like a piece of me dies instantly, because i wish i was lovedby other people in a romantic way. i love him so much, and i'm sad that i've now fallen inlove with him again, but i can't help it. i've been told by other people im pretty and good looking. i take care of my appearance too, and im a massive extrovert with a kind personality (im not trying o show off or anything, just providing some context ig?), but somehow it isn't enough, since he just doesnt see me in the same way. i barely have crushes, but whenever i do, i'm always rejected, so i feel i'll never find someone for me in my life.

i'm scared to confess to him again. i dont want him to hate me or see me as a nuisance. he's my best friend, and i know its weird when friends get into relationships, but honestly i've never loved anyone so hard, and i don't know what to do.

Reply 1

Zarek

These friendzone situations are very destructive in hindsight. It’s generally best to put the friendship on the back burner and focus on finding someone who is up for it. I wouldn’t advise redeclaring your feelings, you’ll boost your self esteem much more and surprise him by moving on. Once you’re in a relationship you can return to friendship on an equal basis, if indeed it still matters. It’s almost inevitable that we come across people we really fancy that don’t feel the same way. There is not just one person you can be in love with, there are many, and the best feeling is when it’s properly returned