I hate University

I absolutely despise every minute of university. Firstly, my accommodation is way too overpriced, meaning each month my family has to dig through savings just to gather enough money for me to be here. A few weeks in to Uni I encountered some bad family problems and personal illness which derailed my schedule and opened the floodgates to missing lectures periodically (my attendance is about 60%)- yet I have no motivation to improve this as I hate my course.

The worst bit is that I have made no real friends. Sure, I know lots of faces, but I have made no significant bonds that everyone else seems to have made. I do EVERYTHING on my own, completely contrary to how I lived life before Uni. This isn't helped by the fact that I've got a toxic flat who argue all day. Whilst everyone around me has arranged who they'll be living with next year, I have absolutely no-one.
I haven't felt this depressed and frankly lonely for a while now and could really use some advice.

Reply 1

sharkbird4000

Does the uni provide any support systems for students in your situation? They might be able to match you up with people who also don't have flat mates for next year- or there might be uni specific message boards you could try.

In terms of making closer friends, have you joined societies/clubs? It's a great way to meet people with the same interests as you. Also make sure you're keeping in touch with your friends before uni.

Though if you really hate your course the best option might just be to switch to a different course/uni, again try talking to your uni about what your options for that are.

I'm sorry you're having such a miserable time, I hope things pick up for you :smile:

Reply 2

SophieSmall

For the money problems you could possibly look into your universities hardship fund.

As for friends, you have to just get out there more. Friends aren't just going to fall into your lap. And the assumption you have made that every has close bonds, likely very false. Nobody wants to be on their own so they're just clinging to people they know, doesn't mean they're close or even spend much time together if at all outside of university. I know lots of people like that.

You still have time to find friends to get second year housing with, but if you don't you could either go into accommodation again (preferably a cheaper one) or you could post on your universities Facebook page later on in the year to ask if anyone is looking for a spare house mate as often people change their minds about who they want to live with in second year, or people drop out after signing tenancy agreements and so a replacement house mate needs to be found. It's not ideal but it's not the end of the world. We have a new guy in our shared house this year who we got since we had to replace someone, he fits right in now as if he was always with us.

If you're feeling depressed you may also want to look into your universities mental health help, many offer free weekly counselling services or just someone to talk to.

Another thing to note, I know you said you're not motivated to go in. But missing a lot of lectures will only make things worse. So in effort to at least not make things worse you should start going in more. And you're more likely to make friends if you're in all the time.