Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Really need advice!

Okay here comes the thing. I am going to uni this Sept and so as my boyfriend. I have seen a lot of articles saying that I should break up with my bf before freshers week in order to start off a brand new uni life. But, my situation is so different from what every article suggests as being simply with a high school sweetheart, and I am now really puzzled.

We got together first in year 11, when I first met him. He came out to me and asked me whether we could be together. I was naive, and the same was he, and we got together. Unfortunately after only one week, we broke up - I ditched him. He was massively hurt as he put all his effort into his first love. It was my first relationship too, but I didn't really love him at that time. We had so many similarities - even we had same laptop passwords.

I didn't have many conversation throughout year 11 but we didn't cut off all connections either. Sometimes we would have conversations about our homework or prefect, student union stuff, etc.

I moved to another city with my parents and started my sixth form. He remained there and went to sixth form there. We sometimes chatted and we got closer again on later days. He came to visit me for a few days in May of my first year of sixth form. I, unexpectedly, touched him and we had the first sexual experience. After that, he told me that he couldn't resist that I am just a friend of him instead of being his bf. He cut off all connection with me in June.

In Dec last year, we met each other again on a social website. We both love cat and we met on a cat forum (or that sort). We started conversations again and he came to visit me in Jan. I felt that this time, I became in love with him. And so is he, much more passionate. He had three boyfriends between our first relationship and this moment. He said the reason he broke up with all of them is because non of them meets the standard that I have, and he couldn't resist staying with anyone apart from me.

We now are in a long-distance relationship and have been in such status for a few months. Unfortunately during the disconnection time he only applied to unis in the US and I will continue to be in England. We now meet in a monthly manner but it is very unlikely for us to meet monthly after Sept.

I now really love him, and he loves me too. But, how should we face the the start of our uni life? An even longer distance with the one who I really really love now, or something else?

Reply 1

Hannah_Louisa

I would say, seeing as the relationship has been so on and off for a number of years and you're still uncertain about it even now, that it would be better for you to end it, go your separate ways and start again. Long-distance relationships are hard (trust me I know!) and it doesn't honestly come across that you two would be committed to eachother enough to go the distance. If you're unsure about the relationship now it will become 100x worse when you have very little face-to-face contact with them. You both sound a bit naive and clinging on to your first love (not trying to be mean that's just how it comes across). Once you'd gotten over the inital break-up with university being a whole new start I think it would really benefit you in the long run. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you whatever you decide to do! :smile: