Is it bad to describe someone as fat?

Hello,
English is not my first language and I am a bit confused about the word 'fat'.

Last week in class I was talking about my friend, Sophie, to someone and they asked me what she looks like - so I said 'She has long blond hair, blue eyes and wears black glasses. And she is short and she is quite fat.'

Then the teacher heard as well and she said that it was a very mean thing to say about my friend and I should not say that she is fat.

Now I am a bit confused because I thought fat was another word for overweight and Sophie has told me that she is quite overweight.

And I was not trying to say an insult about her because she is my friend, and fat is a describing word. It means the opposite of skiny and thin but nobody has ever said I am mean when I describe someone as skiny and thin.

Can someone tell me why what I said was mean. Does fat have another meaning that I do not know about?
Also does it have a different meaning depending on the persons gender - because when I described a boy as fat once nobody said anything.

people are sensitive thats why. its because youre describing a trait that they dont want to have.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

It's just one of those things that makes people more self-conscious so you wouldn't normally speak about it. If your friend is acknowledging it for themselves, then they may not feel as bad as if you had said it to a stranger.

Reply 3

Levi23317

15

Its just that fat generally comes with negative connotations, and alot of people are self conscious about it, so its best not to say it. The teacher doesnt know whether or not your friend is self conscious about it, so thats why she it was mean. Id say avoid using fat and say big or something if youre worried about offending someone. Generally boys dont seem to mind as much (or pretend not to) which is why its not as bad when said about a boy.

Reply 4

watershower

18

It shouldn’t be be bad to describe someone as fat. If you are describing someone to the police and they are in fact overweight, you will use the word fat, no?
It only becomes a problem when you are using it in a negative way like ‘you fat pig’, but in this case you weren’t, and your teacher was just sensitive.
It is a bit more sensitive for girls because of society but it can also be for boys.
Don’t worry about using it as an adjective :smile:

Reply 5

username4355882

21

The word "fat" is generally not seen in a positive light. You are talking very literally here.

If someone were very short, they still wouldn't wanna be called short and even a guy wouldn't prefer to be called fat. It almost sounds insulting, even if you have no intention to do that. These are mere social skills. For next time, try using euphemisms such as "healthy" or "not very tall".

Reply 6

TaintedLight

20

Yeah it's one of those things were the "rules" don't apply. I usually say you know that girl who is "quite plum" or something along those lines. Even skin wise. If she is white then i go ahead, "remember that lady with the fair skin?"

If she is black... "you know that lady... who was here umm... oh well tough luck she is not around" :biggrin:

Reply 7

maddiesmith

14

calling or describing someone as fat is seen more of an insult, when in doubt say curvy lol

Reply 8

radiatorman

7

Yeah depends on the situation to be honest. What you described sounds fine, the people over reacted. If you say to someone directly 'you're fat!' that's rude as an example. But if you are describing someone's appearance it's usually fine unless the people are overly sensitive

Reply 9

Reality Check

22

Original post by Anonymous

Hello,
English is not my first language and I am a bit confused about the word 'fat'.

Last week in class I was talking about my friend, Sophie, to someone and they asked me what she looks like - so I said 'She has long blond hair, blue eyes and wears black glasses. And she is short and she is quite fat.'

Then the teacher heard as well and she said that it was a very mean thing to say about my friend and I should not say that she is fat.

Now I am a bit confused because I thought fat was another word for overweight and Sophie has told me that she is quite overweight.

And I was not trying to say an insult about her because she is my friend, and fat is a describing word. It means the opposite of skiny and thin but nobody has ever said I am mean when I describe someone as skiny and thin.

Can someone tell me why what I said was mean. Does fat have another meaning that I do not know about?
Also does it have a different meaning depending on the persons gender - because when I described a boy as fat once nobody said anything.

We generally try to avoid referring to people by their physical attributes, particularly when those attributes are ones to which the person concerned probably doesn't want attention drawn. It's not a language thing; it's a politeness and sensitivity thing.

I appreciate you were being asked to describe the appearance of your friend, and this is where it's a bit tricky. In some ways, describing your friend as 'fat' is clear, unambiguous and, some might say, fairly neutral. Most people, though, would just avoid commenting on her weight as part of her description, because it's a personal comment that she might feel uncomfortable about. In other words, you can adequately describe your friend from a physical point of view without having to comment on her weight - as you did describing her hair, eye colour etc.

Just be more mindful of how people might feel when you describe them. It's not difficult.

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

being 'fat' is undesirable. By calling someone fat you are insulting them

Reply 11

khads2004

3

for some people they would be sensitive this is 50 50 but you could say it in a way that isn't too rude for them maybe overweight or chubby but a lot of people don't talk about skinny shaming enough I think it is also a thing when people will. make you feel guilty they will say oh your so skinny or Im not eating today just little things like that can affect themselves and tbh no one can control who they are everyone has their own flaws I think all are amazing

Is it bad to describe someone as fat?

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