GCSE Geography AQA 9 marker

Can someone mark and give my 9 mark response feedback, please?

To what extent has urban change provided London with economic and social opportunities. [9 MARKS + 3 SPAG]

To a small extent Urban Change has provided London which both social and economic opportunities.

One social opportunity of urban change is the cultural diversity in London with 36% of Londoners being from black, Asian or minority ethnic group, meaning there are many cultural events that are held within the city to celebrate this multiculturalism such as Notting Hill Carnival. Furthermore, there is an array of food from different cultures available on nearly every high street in London and a wide variety of music such as from BBC’s Asian Radio Channel. Diversity increases productivity in work forces as bringing together people of various backgrounds with different life experiences can generate ideas or perspectives that others may not have ever considered or been aware of.

Despite this, issue arises through the language barriers and many public services such as schools and hospitals have to provide language translation services which are expensive to supply in every public area.

Another opportunity is Londoners earn 23% more than the UK average which means that they have more disposable income and money to support their families. A higher disposable income means that households have more money to either save or spend, which naturally leads to a growth in consumption. This increase in consumption could increase corporate sales and corporate earnings, increasing the value of individual stocks. Also, due to having a higher income than the average, Londoners are able to pay more taxes which the government can use to for further development, such as improvement on transport systems in order to attract more skilled workers and investors into the city.

Despite the huge wealth found in London, unemployment remains a major issue. London’s employment rate was just 68% in the period October to December 2011, below the average of 70% for the UK. This can be a negative multiplier effect, as the government lose tax revenue from unemployment and have to spend more on benefits for the unemployed. This means less money can be spent on improving the development of the country.

It also cannot be ignored urban change in London has created urban decline in some parts of the city as shown through areas such as Newham have the highest unemployment rates in the city of 14%. This means people have less money to spend so some people may turn to crime or burglary to supplement income, which increases the crime rates in the area making it less attractive for new businesses to relocate to.

Overall, i think that urban change has provided London with some economic and social opportunities; however, it cannot be ignored that many challenged resulted from it, such as urban decline and high unemployment rates.

Wow, this is really good answer!! It would definitely get into the level 3 band achieving 8-9 marks. Only improvement I can make is to include as much detail with fast and figures etc, and also be reasonable with how much you write. The exams work by a mark a minute so this should take you roughly 9 to 10 minutes to write - make sure you're including the most relevant information to get the highest marks! Otherwise this is an amazing response!!