The Student Room Group

🌿 I Don't Do Blogs: A journey to self-improvement 🌿





Hi. I am Idontdousernames. You can call me IDDU.
I'm (soon to be) a first year university student. I'm also autistic and I have ADHD. Some other stuff about me:
- I'm super into philosophy and politics.
- Reading is fun. Yes, really. I will read a bit of anything.
- I know useless facts. Don't ask me why a group of pandas is called an embarrassment. I shall pretend not to know.
- I'm borderline addicted to video games. Which is where our journey begins...

Background

Spoiler



What now?

Spoiler



What I'll talk about in this blog:

Spoiler


I will try to post at least once per day.
Let me know if you want to be tagged.
- Iddu
🌿

(edited 2 years ago)

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Reserved for tags/important updates
I am watching it now :smile: :hugs:
Original post by Il1L
I am watching it now :smile: :hugs:

Thank you haha
Original post by idontdousernames




Hi. I am Idontdousernames. You can call me IDDU.
I'm (soon to be) a first year university student. I'm also autistic and I have ADHD. Some other stuff about me:
- I'm super into philosophy and politics.
- Reading is fun. Yes, really. I will read a bit of anything.
- I know useless facts. Don't ask me why a group of pandas is called an embarrassment. I shall pretend not to know.
- I'm borderline addicted to video games. Which is where our journey begins...

Background

Spoiler



What now?

Spoiler



What I'll talk about in this blog:

Spoiler


I will try to post at least once per day.
Let me know if you want to be tagged.
- Iddu
🌿



PRSOM and I would love to be tagged!
Original post by Il1L
PRSOM and I would love to be tagged!

About tagging, do I just tag in one post or am I meant to do it in all posts?



Day 1
I wish there was an option to post replies with as easy formatting as the main post. I'm typing all this code by hand.

Anyway. Today is going to be a research day. I'm planning to start with the dopamine detox on the 1st and I'm semi-clueless in what I'm actually doing lmao. Every time I sit down to try and start researching for it, I get really bad decision paralysis and I can't figure out what to search for, what to do first, or what else I can do for self improvement. It's incredibly frustrating, but I made a list last night and I'm hoping that will help to some degree. I still feel like I'm missing something important, but I don't know what...

Research To-do List

Spoiler



I will try to update later with how it goes.
- Iddu
🌿

Oh, so now it shows me the edit bar.

I spent a fair portion of the day watching videos about how dopamine detoxing is supposed to work and a few people who went through it. It's supposed to reset the dopamine in the brain by not overly flooding the receptors. A lot of the experiences claimed that they felt more clear-headed and calm when they went through the process and a lot of them were better able to focus. I'm wondering if that will be the case for me, as well, since my baseline of dopamine is supposed to be naturally lower than average. I'm kinda scared that by removing the only things I particularly find enjoyable right now, I'll just be making myself depressed and not enjoying life. And that feels like a waste.
In terms of meditation I found a few different techniques that look promising for me. Mindfulness meditation, love giving meditation, and focus attention meditation all seem like they offer something I'm currently missing. I might have to do more research into them tomorrow. Or just try all three. I guess we'll see what happens.

Day 2
I haven't really done much today. I feel kind of frustrated with myself for not doing a huge amount of research, and I just don't have the motivation to do much more. Even trying not to get distracted while writing this.
That said, the research that I did manage to do was interesting. I looked up ideas for managing distraction and impulsivity, which I imagine will be big problems for the DD. The distraction research was nothing ground-breaking, nothing I didn't already know. But it reminded me that it will be important to separate large tasks into multiple smaller ones, if only to beat the procrastination. That way I'll be getting something done, rather than nothing at all. I'll probably still feel guilty for not using all of my time, but it's a start. And that's what's important.
There was some interesting research on exercise that I found. It suggested that coordinated movement exercise done first thing in the morning increased the test scores of students from a school who participated. My guess would be it increased focus, or memory retention, or something. Both of which could be useful, so I'll have to add something like yoga to my schedule.

- Iddu
🌿
(edited 2 years ago)
Day 3
I think I've probably done what I can for the DD research. Doing any more would just be to repeat what I've already learned. My intention today is to create a draft schedule I can try to follow and write out a list of behaviours I want to avoid next month. I'm... probably going to hate myself before the weekend is even over lmao.
Day 3
Nothing to report today. I procrastinated on the schedule last night and didn't make it. Feel somewhat like a failure, but I'll do it tonight.
Day 4 & 5
Detox has started and it's both easier and harder than I had expected. I thought it would be difficult to do anything in the mornings but it feels like that's the *only* time I get anything done. My theory is because that's the only time I have a proper schedule, and the afternoon is more winging it. That said, I got more done yesterday than I probably did the entire of last week. I need to try and balance the necessary stuff more with the stuff that I want to do. I need to remember that this is an exercise in balance, not suffering.
Day 6 & 7
Still following all the rules I set for myself in the detox. Planning to make a post outlining them at some point but I need to run it through mods and I'm lazy. It's easier than I expected in some ways (in that I'm following it) and harder in others - in that it seems like all the things I have the urge to do are all the things I suddenly am not allowed. Even when I didn't have them before. Or maybe I did. Maybe since they were semiregularly "sated" I didn't feel as much, because I could just go do it.
I'm still struggling to be productive in terms of my learning. The plan was to use some of the time to improve things I'll need for uni, such as 3D modelling. So far we're 4 days in and 4 for 4 on not doing anything. I feel like I'm using my list of research topics as an excuse not to do it because it's less resistance that way. Tomorrow I am going to make myself do at least 30 minutes of something. We'll see how that goes.
Day 8 & 9
Good news: both today and yesterday I managed to be more productive in terms of the learning. What I'm producing so far looks better than my first attempt did at the end of March. It's difficult to force myself to get going but it's fairly enjoyable once I'm in the flow.
Bad news: I slipped up on one of my rules. I was thinking about it too much and couldn't deal with the urge any more. I spent about an hour convincing myself it was okay as long as I used a loophole and then at the end of that loophole I couldn't stop. Still not sure if I can talk about it in full. Still need to ask the mods. I need to stop being lazy.
Original post by idontdousernames
Bad news: I slipped up on one of my rules. I was thinking about it too much and couldn't deal with the urge any more. I spent about an hour convincing myself it was okay as long as I used a loophole and then at the end of that loophole I couldn't stop. Still not sure if I can talk about it in full. Still need to ask the mods. I need to stop being lazy.

What was that?
Original post by idontdousernames
Day 8 & 9
Good news: both today and yesterday I managed to be more productive in terms of the learning. What I'm producing so far looks better than my first attempt did at the end of March. It's difficult to force myself to get going but it's fairly enjoyable once I'm in the flow.

:clap2:
Original post by Il1L
What was that?

I'm fine sharing it but the reason I need to wait for mods (same reason I'm not posting my full rules yet) is because it walks the line of breaking the rules and not, so I don't know if I'm allowed to.
Original post by idontdousernames
I'm fine sharing it but the reason I need to wait for mods (same reason I'm not posting my full rules yet) is because it walks the line of breaking the rules and not, so I don't know if I'm allowed to.

oh ok - I misunderstood, sorry
I haven't messaged much but I have been following it all :hugs:
Original post by Il1L
I haven't messaged much but I have been following it all :hugs:

I appreciate that lol. Trying to figure out why it isn't getting much attention. I shouldn't care about that; I'm not really doing it for other people. I'm doing it to hold myself accountable. But it is minorly disheartening.

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