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Pakistani dad controlling everything
my dad is very very religious and i mean very religious like he will go out of his way and bring islam into EVERYTHING it gets annoying tbh. he’s also strict and very cultural and if you go against his cultural ideas he starts his rant about how “western cultural is bad” and how most people in the west kick their kids out when they reach the age of 18. he also says things like “ if u want to behave western” then I’ll also behave western and make you pay to live in my house etc etc. he’s super weird about clothing like I’ll wear baggy cargos and a normal t shirt and he’ll throw some next level fit like “ I don’t like these clothes” he traps you by using religion against you and says things like “ u better wear an abaya” and how when he sees girls wear an abaya he gets “upset” because I DONT WEAR ONE. He’s so annoying it gets so irritating and he just won’t stop like it gets worse each year as I grow up. Like he’s so against me wearing normal modest clothing he’s always saying “just wear Pakistani clothes outside” and when I say no he says oh your so this and that but he himself wears jeans whenever he goes out? He seems to be looser on how religion treats males and he doesn’t really seem to care but when it comes to girls he’s so extra like it gets on my nerves and idk how I can deal with this, like he’s always saying girls can’t do this girls can’t do that like……. omgomg
Original post by Anonymous
my dad is very very religious and i mean very religious like he will go out of his way and bring islam into EVERYTHING it gets annoying tbh. he’s also strict and very cultural and if you go against his cultural ideas he starts his rant about how “western cultural is bad” and how most people in the west kick their kids out when they reach the age of 18. he also says things like “ if u want to behave western” then I’ll also behave western and make you pay to live in my house etc etc. he’s super weird about clothing like I’ll wear baggy cargos and a normal t shirt and he’ll throw some next level fit like “ I don’t like these clothes” he traps you by using religion against you and says things like “ u better wear an abaya” and how when he sees girls wear an abaya he gets “upset” because I DONT WEAR ONE. He’s so annoying it gets so irritating and he just won’t stop like it gets worse each year as I grow up. Like he’s so against me wearing normal modest clothing he’s always saying “just wear Pakistani clothes outside” and when I say no he says oh your so this and that but he himself wears jeans whenever he goes out? He seems to be looser on how religion treats males and he doesn’t really seem to care but when it comes to girls he’s so extra like it gets on my nerves and idk how I can deal with this, like he’s always saying girls can’t do this girls can’t do that like……. omgomg
Salam sister, this is a very bad situation for you I Allah makes this easy for you. This happens a lot I have experienced something very similar myself and the best way is to talk to your mum or any other relative about your concern because from what I see your doing nothing wrong. Lots of men from Pakistan like to be controlling, but Islam says you should treat your wife and daughters like they are the queen. Inshallah you'll get through, but remember you still have to respect your father and don't do anything drastic.
Put your physical own safety, health and personal ambitions first. 
It sounds like your father is a vicious bully in the habit of using religion as a favourite weapon seeking to retain control and ensure that his demands will be always be obeyed.
My family tree has been brimming with men and women behaving like that for generations.
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Never forget that you have the same right as every other fellow adult in the uk to choose the direction of your own future.
Your ambitions, your beliefs, your fashion sense, your friends, family members and who you are willing to have contact with.
I hope that one day you will be able regain your freedom and build the happy future life that you want, free of your father's overbearing habits.
I do understand some of how your feel.
I was raised in a toxic and controlling household, surrounded by unreasonable adults who constantly imposed themselves & their neverending demands upon me.
No privacy, no peace, no independence, very little freedom and never allowed out alone even as an 18 year old.
Escaped 9 years ago and will never go back.
Nor speak to any of my 3 living ancestors again or any of their vilest pals.
Good luck!
It sounds like your father is a vicious bully in the habit of using religion as a favourite weapon seeking to retain control and ensure that his demands will be always be obeyed.
My family tree has been brimming with men and women behaving like that for generations.
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Never forget that you have the same right as every other fellow adult in the uk to choose the direction of your own future.
Your ambitions, your beliefs, your fashion sense, your friends, family members and who you are willing to have contact with.
I hope that one day you will be able regain your freedom and build the happy future life that you want, free of your father's overbearing habits.
I do understand some of how your feel.
I was raised in a toxic and controlling household, surrounded by unreasonable adults who constantly imposed themselves & their neverending demands upon me.
No privacy, no peace, no independence, very little freedom and never allowed out alone even as an 18 year old.
Escaped 9 years ago and will never go back.
Nor speak to any of my 3 living ancestors again or any of their vilest pals.
Good luck!
Original post by Anonymous
Salam sister, this is a very bad situation for you I Allah makes this easy for you. This happens a lot I have experienced something very similar myself and the best way is to talk to your mum or any other relative about your concern because from what I see your doing nothing wrong. Lots of men from Pakistan like to be controlling, but Islam says you should treat your wife and daughters like they are the queen. Inshallah you'll get through, but remember you still have to respect your father and don't do anything drastic.
thank you x
appreciate the advice, thank you!
Original post by Anonymous
Islam says you should treat your wife and daughters like they are the queen.
No it doesn't. A wife has to obey her husband, and a daughter has to obey her father, not the other way round. And a husband can beat a wife for disobedience. No subject is allowed to beat the queen. Islam basically treats women like the property of a male relative rather than as free, independent people.
Many men are controlling or abusive of women, but religion can provide a means for them to attempt to justify their behaviour.
Original post by WADR
No it doesn't. A wife has to obey her husband, and a daughter has to obey her father, not the other way round. And a husband can beat a wife for disobedience. No subject is allowed to beat the queen. Islam basically treats women like the property of a male relative rather than as free, independent people.
Many men are controlling or abusive of women, but religion can provide a means for them to attempt to justify their behaviour.
Many men are controlling or abusive of women, but religion can provide a means for them to attempt to justify their behaviour.
Here comes the EDL islamophobic, ur so lame u use ur free time hating on Islam.
Original post by Anonymous
Here comes the EDL islamophobic, ur so lame u use ur free time hating on Islam.
Original post by WADR
No it doesn't. A wife has to obey her husband, and a daughter has to obey her father, not the other way round. And a husband can beat a wife for disobedience. No subject is allowed to beat the queen. Islam basically treats women like the property of a male relative rather than as free, independent people.
Many men are controlling or abusive of women, but religion can provide a means for them to attempt to justify their behaviour.
Many men are controlling or abusive of women, but religion can provide a means for them to attempt to justify their behaviour.
Think ur at the wrong meeting I’m sure the EDL one for u is in a few days yet. But make sure to get some more false info and spread hate on a religion u can’t understand do ur own research before going off what media implies yeah and ull find out what Islam is rlly about.
Idk if u knew but the fact is islam was the first to give women independence and it’s a known fact like in all the rules it has never said such vile stuff as u funny thing is ppl like u can never quote it and if they do they don’t even know the meaning and read it wrong. There’s clearly a reason it’s the only religion rn that is respected and fastest growing. Look into it instead of being a sheep to the west u clearly need some guidance in ur life
Original post by Anonymous
Think ur at the wrong meeting I’m sure the EDL one for u is in a few days yet. But make sure to get some more false info and spread hate on a religion u can’t understand do ur own research before going off what media implies yeah and ull find out what Islam is rlly about.
Idk if u knew but the fact is islam was the first to give women independence and it’s a known fact like in all the rules it has never said such vile stuff as u funny thing is ppl like u can never quote it and if they do they don’t even know the meaning and read it wrong. There’s clearly a reason it’s the only religion rn that is respected and fastest growing. Look into it instead of being a sheep to the west u clearly need some guidance in ur life
Idk if u knew but the fact is islam was the first to give women independence and it’s a known fact like in all the rules it has never said such vile stuff as u funny thing is ppl like u can never quote it and if they do they don’t even know the meaning and read it wrong. There’s clearly a reason it’s the only religion rn that is respected and fastest growing. Look into it instead of being a sheep to the west u clearly need some guidance in ur life
“It’s not their eyes that is blind, but the hearts” Quran 22:46. They know the truth but don’t want to follow it u cannot cure the disease of ignorance if they don’t want to be cured
Original post by Anonymous
“It’s not their eyes that is blind, but the hearts” Quran 22:46. They know the truth but don’t want to follow it u cannot cure the disease of ignorance if they don’t want to be cured
That is very true i just think like why are they spreading lies when it’s not even the truth
Original post by Anonymous
Here comes the EDL islamophobic, ur so lame u use ur free time hating on Islam.
Since when is supporting women's rights and opposing oppression and abuse an "EDL islamophobe" thing? Right-wing knuckle-draggers probably agree with Allah and Muhammad on women's issues!
"So righteous women are devoutly obedient" - 4:34
"As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them". - 4:34
"Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will" - 2:223
"the Messenger of Allah said "A man should not be asked why he beats his wife"" - Sunnah Ibn Majah"
‘If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses the angels will curse her until morning.’ - Bukhari
"give not your daughters in marriage to idolaters" - 2:221
"Guard their chastity from all women except with their wives and the captives and slave girls whom their right hands possess" - 7:30
Now, you show me where it says that women must be treated like the queen. (btw, Muhammad said that a nation will never prosper with a women as a leader -he was clearly wrong about that!)
Try addressing the points rather than just throwing insults.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Think ur at the wrong meeting I’m sure the EDL one for u is in a few days yet. But make sure to get some more false info and spread hate on a religion u can’t understand do ur own research before going off what media implies yeah and ull find out what Islam is rlly about.
My points were all from the Quran and hadith. Maybe you should try reading them?
Idk if u knew but the fact is islam was the first to give women independence
1. Islam does not give women independence. It puts many unreasonable or irrational restrictions on their behaviour.
2. Women had independence before Islam. Muhammad's first wife was a rich and powerful business woman who employed Muhammad and asked him to marry her. She inherited her fortune from her father.
and it’s a known fact like in all the rules it has never said such vile stuff as u funny thing is ppl like u can never quote it and if they do they don’t even know the meaning and read it wrong.
Read verse 4:34. It is remarkable how many Muslims come on forums like this to defend Islam and accuse sceptics of ignorance, when they clearly know little about it themselves. Islam contains a lot of pretty unpleasant stuff that they don't teach you in Friday prayers or on Islamic YouTube channels.
There’s clearly a reason it’s the only religion rn that is respected
Why on earth would you think it is the only religion that is respected? All religions are respected. And they are all criticised. Islam possibly received more criticism than any other.
and fastest growing.
It is growing so fast because of high birth rates amongst Muslim families. That is all. The number of people converting to it is though to be fewer than the number leaving it. And many converts themselves leave after a few years.
Look into it instead of being a sheep to the west u clearly need some guidance in ur life
Ironic, much!
I love how often people who slavishly follow the ancient superstition they were brought up to believe call those who question such superstitions "sheep".
Original post by Anonymous
“It’s not their eyes that is blind, but the hearts” Quran 22:46. They know the truth but don’t want to follow it u cannot cure the disease of ignorance if they don’t want to be cured
Remember that Allah misguides who he wills, he puts a seal on their hearts so they cannot believe even if they are warned, and that he surely creates some of mankind for hell. So it's not my fault. Allah created me this way. Why do you think he did that, given that he created mankind only to worship him?
Original post by Anonymous
That is very true i just think like why are they spreading lies when it’s not even the truth
Do you really think it is a lie that the Quran says to beat a disobedient wife, or that a man may use his slave girls for sex?
Original post by WADR
My points were all from the Quran and hadith. Maybe you should try reading them?
1. Islam does not give women independence. It puts many unreasonable or irrational restrictions on their behaviour.
2. Women had independence before Islam. Muhammad's first wife was a rich and powerful business woman who employed Muhammad and asked him to marry her. She inherited her fortune from her father.
Read verse 4:34. It is remarkable how many Muslims come on forums like this to defend Islam and accuse sceptics of ignorance, when they clearly know little about it themselves. Islam contains a lot of pretty unpleasant stuff that they don't teach you in Friday prayers or on Islamic YouTube channels.
Why on earth would you think it is the only religion that is respected? All religions are respected. And they are all criticised. Islam possibly received more criticism than any other.
It is growing so fast because of high birth rates amongst Muslim families. That is all. The number of people converting to it is though to be fewer than the number leaving it. And many converts themselves leave after a few years.
Ironic, much!
I love how often people who slavishly follow the ancient superstition they were brought up to believe call those who question such superstitions "sheep".
1. Islam does not give women independence. It puts many unreasonable or irrational restrictions on their behaviour.
2. Women had independence before Islam. Muhammad's first wife was a rich and powerful business woman who employed Muhammad and asked him to marry her. She inherited her fortune from her father.
Read verse 4:34. It is remarkable how many Muslims come on forums like this to defend Islam and accuse sceptics of ignorance, when they clearly know little about it themselves. Islam contains a lot of pretty unpleasant stuff that they don't teach you in Friday prayers or on Islamic YouTube channels.
Why on earth would you think it is the only religion that is respected? All religions are respected. And they are all criticised. Islam possibly received more criticism than any other.
It is growing so fast because of high birth rates amongst Muslim families. That is all. The number of people converting to it is though to be fewer than the number leaving it. And many converts themselves leave after a few years.
Ironic, much!
I love how often people who slavishly follow the ancient superstition they were brought up to believe call those who question such superstitions "sheep".
Did a Muslim hurt you or something dr you to cry on this forum?
Islam is the fastest growing religion by converts, something which you can't swallow in yet.
Christianity is losing people more than any other religion.
And it's Christianity that is criticised the most, there are people who openly mock Christianity in western countries.
Original post by Anonymous #1
my dad is very very religious and i mean very religious like he will go out of his way and bring islam into EVERYTHING it gets annoying tbh. he’s also strict and very cultural and if you go against his cultural ideas he starts his rant about how “western cultural is bad” and how most people in the west kick their kids out when they reach the age of 18. he also says things like “ if u want to behave western” then I’ll also behave western and make you pay to live in my house etc etc. he’s super weird about clothing like I’ll wear baggy cargos and a normal t shirt and he’ll throw some next level fit like “ I don’t like these clothes” he traps you by using religion against you and says things like “ u better wear an abaya” and how when he sees girls wear an abaya he gets “upset” because I DONT WEAR ONE. He’s so annoying it gets so irritating and he just won’t stop like it gets worse each year as I grow up. Like he’s so against me wearing normal modest clothing he’s always saying “just wear Pakistani clothes outside” and when I say no he says oh your so this and that but he himself wears jeans whenever he goes out? He seems to be looser on how religion treats males and he doesn’t really seem to care but when it comes to girls he’s so extra like it gets on my nerves and idk how I can deal with this, like he’s always saying girls can’t do this girls can’t do that like……. omgomg
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