Not socialising with flatmates
I am living with four other people and we're all doing a year abroad (but the others are from a different country). I only opted for this because of financial issues, I would have really preferred to live alone. I'm an introvert and really enjoy my own space but I sometimes feel obliged to do things with the others, even when I don't want to. I am always polite and friendly with them don't get me wrong, but I don't really want friendship with them. The reason for that is because I don't feel a genuine connection with them, we don't have much in common and it's hard being the odd one out (from another country). At the start of our flat share, I socialised and made more of an effort however I always kind of felt left out and spending time with them didn't really do anything for me! So now I try to avoid it but I do also feel rude sometimes.
Am I wrong for being like this?
Am I wrong for being like this?
Short answer is no.
Ideally you shouldn't try and make yourself like these group of friends even when you live with them. Your feelings are valid since you understand you are an introvert and seem to know what type of people you get on with. If its too stressful or unpleasant to be around them (not because I'm assuming they are unpleasant people) because you don't want to be there you don't have to be.
That being said, it sounds like these people invite you out sometimes and I get why on their perspective it could seem rude to refuse their invites to hand out. My advice would be try and strike a balance, go out with them sometimes or try and see them in the house occasionally to not make unnecessary tension or awkwardness by your unexplained distance.
This is my personal advice: If you want you could potentially go out with them. Whilst out with them try and enjoy the experience of whatever your doing rather than people you are with. Since you are in uni you are coming to a period of your life where you may never get this amount of free time to go out and experience different types of people again. Make the most of it- who knows whilst out with them you could make friends with people who are more like you.
Ideally you shouldn't try and make yourself like these group of friends even when you live with them. Your feelings are valid since you understand you are an introvert and seem to know what type of people you get on with. If its too stressful or unpleasant to be around them (not because I'm assuming they are unpleasant people) because you don't want to be there you don't have to be.
That being said, it sounds like these people invite you out sometimes and I get why on their perspective it could seem rude to refuse their invites to hand out. My advice would be try and strike a balance, go out with them sometimes or try and see them in the house occasionally to not make unnecessary tension or awkwardness by your unexplained distance.
This is my personal advice: If you want you could potentially go out with them. Whilst out with them try and enjoy the experience of whatever your doing rather than people you are with. Since you are in uni you are coming to a period of your life where you may never get this amount of free time to go out and experience different types of people again. Make the most of it- who knows whilst out with them you could make friends with people who are more like you.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- En-Suite or Studio
- Uni of cardiff
- moderate lifestyle accommodation?
- What happens in unirvesity
- Available room in Host Queens Hospital Close Up for grabs
- No one to move with for second year.
- Changing flats
- looking for housing and potential flatmates for 2nd year housing in Bristol
- Halls or private accommodation? Things to consider when choosing a place to stay.
- Most social accomodation at University of Manchester
- Flatmate being really isolated/creepy
- lovell park accommodation leeds
- What accommodation is the most social/active/fun?
- Is it normal to not talk to your hallmates?
- Lonely at uni
- can I bake in uni?
- What is the best accommodation in Cardiff next year for a mature student?
- Uni of Nottingham Accomodation
- Student halls at Reading
- Potential uni flatmate ignoring me?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%
