don’t want to go on a family holiday

Okay so this has been on my mind for a while now and i need to get it off my chest: i hate going on holiday with my family. Im 18, female and struggle with depression, my parents often get angry with me and tell me i’m ungrateful and a brat when i show signs of depression (sadness, irritability ect) so i have to act happy even though it’s exhausting.
My sister (20) is the main problem though; she ruins everything nice and has done since i can remember, i hate family meals because that means she can make snarky comments and make me feel awful (i feel that this comes partly from jealousy as i am going to university and have a nice social life while she is stuck at a minimum wage job she hates and only has her boyfriend). She makes me feel guilt for eating and is constantly saying that she won’t be eating today or saying she won’t be hungry for dinner even though she just woke up so it’s hard to make any plans where she won’t complain or just sit at a restaurant and talk about how she won’t be eating.
She’s not the smartest but she thinks she knows everything so she says dumb things and puts on a fake accent so she sounds local (we have a different accent to the area we live in) but she doesn’t realise how annoying it is. She gets overly angry at nothing but my parents never do anything about it. she’s entitled, even deciding that she needs two bedrooms and started redecorating the spare bedroom for herself while nobody batted an eye at her spending my parents money on a room she doesn’t need while i’ve been asking for new wallpaper or even just paint for months.
Holidays are stressful and i can get overwhelmed after being with my family for any period of time. This leads to me being the child who ruins the family holiday though the problem of my sister is never addressed.

She’s angry and swearing over biscuits as i write this. My mums coddling her.

I hate to sound ungrateful but i can’t do another two weeks of this, i’ve been dreading it more than i have my Alevel exams.

Any advise would be appreciated and if anyone has had a similar issue; how did you deal with it?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Okay so this has been on my mind for a while now and i need to get it off my chest: i hate going on holiday with my family. Im 18, female and struggle with depression, my parents often get angry with me and tell me i’m ungrateful and a brat when i show signs of depression (sadness, irritability ect) so i have to act happy even though it’s exhausting.
My sister (20) is the main problem though; she ruins everything nice and has done since i can remember, i hate family meals because that means she can make snarky comments and make me feel awful (i feel that this comes partly from jealousy as i am going to university and have a nice social life while she is stuck at a minimum wage job she hates and only has her boyfriend). She makes me feel guilt for eating and is constantly saying that she won’t be eating today or saying she won’t be hungry for dinner even though she just woke up so it’s hard to make any plans where she won’t complain or just sit at a restaurant and talk about how she won’t be eating.
She’s not the smartest but she thinks she knows everything so she says dumb things and puts on a fake accent so she sounds local (we have a different accent to the area we live in) but she doesn’t realise how annoying it is. She gets overly angry at nothing but my parents never do anything about it. she’s entitled, even deciding that she needs two bedrooms and started redecorating the spare bedroom for herself while nobody batted an eye at her spending my parents money on a room she doesn’t need while i’ve been asking for new wallpaper or even just paint for months.
Holidays are stressful and i can get overwhelmed after being with my family for any period of time. This leads to me being the child who ruins the family holiday though the problem of my sister is never addressed.

She’s angry and swearing over biscuits as i write this. My mums coddling her.

I hate to sound ungrateful but i can’t do another two weeks of this, i’ve been dreading it more than i have my Alevel exams.

Any advise would be appreciated and if anyone has had a similar issue; how did you deal with it?

Don't go then

Reply 2

kaorimiyazono

19

I'm so sorry you're having to go through all that. It sounds really frustrating. I think the only thing left here is to sit down and have a conversation with your family about this. If you don't feel comfortable doing this as a family meeting type thing, maybe target the parent most likely to listen? Also, about your sister, I'm not gonna pretend like I know her situation or anything but from what it sounds like she's displaying signs of disordered eating. Would you agree?? Because maybe that's the root of her anger issues. I obviously don't know her situation at all though it's just what it sounded like from what you wrote. But yeah the only thing you can really do is just talk to them about it- let them know how much it's hurting you and affecting you. And if your mum doesn't believe that depression is a real thing, you should send her some educational videos or scientific articles to read about it. So she knows it's not about you being ungrateful or anything- just you having a mental health issue.

If you don't want to go on the holiday, say that you're stressed about A-Levels and need more time to revise.

(edited 11 months ago)

Reply 3

Apachecow

19

You do sound ungrateful. What your sister does has little bearing on your quality of life. Once you learn you are in control of your own happiness you will find yourself in a much better place. You would be crazy to deprive yourself of the holiday, but you do you.

Rise above it.

don’t want to go on a family holiday

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