Helpppp

I’ve been with this guy since I was 17 and I am now 22. It hasn’t been the best and we’ve taken a break in between and there was a few years especially during covid where I have only seen him like a handful of times. We have spoken about marriage but he says that for him marriage will come when he’s older since these years for him are important to make money. For me ideally I would like to get married at 25. Sometimes during the day we barely message maybe once a day, don’t ever call and see each other maybe once a month. Whilst in religion terms because I am Muslim and I shouldn’t really be seeing him that much, I would appreciate more communication, because that is something I really need especially now. I know that he is busy with work and stuff and I don’t question that he is seeing other girls, but I am not sure what to do. I have recently notice that he does see his friends more often than he sees me, but sometimes he says it’s for work purposes. What should I do? Bare in mind I have had a conversation with him about more communication and he just says that he is busy but he will try.

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

Expect marriage to him to be one where he pays you less and less attention. And takes you more and more for granted.

Try to be less needy and clingy yourself. And also see if you can marry someone that will be more attentive and a lot better at keeping your relationship fresh.
The lack of 20 texts per day isn't so bad, it's the seeing you once per month that's getting my alarm bells ringing. When he does see you it should be really special.
His lack of enthusiasm for marrying you soon is totally underwhelming.

Reply 2

londonmyst

Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:

It sounds like the two of you have very different ambitions, timescales and relationship expectations.
Has your bf committed himself to a very intensive career with long working day or many years of further studying in order to become fully qualified and maximise his potential income?
Is this an age gap or interfaith relationship?