Does he like me?

I have a friend who I've known for a few months now and when we first met, I could kind of sense that there was a vibe between us and I think we both knew that it probably was not gonna be a platonic friendship.

So literally within days of meeting him we are out at a party that one of our other friends was having and ended up making out and i was surprised but also not really and I think it was the same for him. Anyway, over the next few months we did get with each other quite a few times and he would get quite drunk and just say things that I know he meant but would never say sober. Anyway, back then I was like pretty much sure he did like me and i think he knew that i also did like him as well although we never took it further since we were coursemates and it probably would get super awkward.

Anyway, over the last 2-3 months nothing has happened which I am glad for and I don't think i like him as much anymore and I don't think he does either. Its a weird relationship now cuz there is still tension there but its more awkward now than it was before and I'm just not sure why that is, like we hung out with some friends the other day and he was like laughing along with other people but then when he talked to me it was about updates on like some serious conversations we'd had months before. So like there is a bit of a big difference between the way he speaks with other people and the way he speaks with me, like its not as light a conversation and he just looks way more serious. And I think I've also realised that I'm maybe too awkward to be as good friends with him anymore so Ive not really been responding to him as much as before/ as openly as before so I think that's why the friendship has changed and is probably gonna fizzle away with time which is again completely fine since he wasn't that close a friend.

Anyway, we were just discussing plans for the evening and i told him i was gonna have dinner with a friend and for some reason he asks 'which friend?' and I was just kind of like does it matter, like i wouldn't ask that to anybody. So my friend was suggesting maybe there was still some feeling from his end and it was his way of seeing if it was a male friend or female friend i was gonna be with. I thought that was a bit ridiculous since im fairly certain there are no feelings from either of us anymore and its probably why things are just a bit tense since the foundation of the friendship was the fact that we liked each other lol.

But yeah, I'm just a bit confused as to why he felt the need to confirm who i was with and also why he's so different around me and not as lighthearted. Maybe its just because i also don't respond to him in the same manner like i used to and like they're very short superficial answers whenever I do say something.

Idk what to think because I do wanna keep him around as a friend but I also think we've messed it up a bit and probably can't really be friends considering the history and the fact that its a bit awkward now? I am not gonna have a conversation with him about this because I just know it will not go well and he'll get defensive and i will also get defensive and like we're done with the course and he's leaving so I'm wondering if I just don't really contact him and just let this friendship just kind of fade with time?

Reply 1

Marvel_fan

In terms of the asking who the friend is, personally I would ask that just to make conversation. While theres a small chance it could mean something more I probably wouldn't read into it too much. I guess you then have to ask yourself if you want to stay friends. If its awkward like you say and potentially hard to keep conversation running then maybe its not worth it. But i guess if you enjoy his company and being friends its probably a friendship you want to try to keep. Do you want to stay friends or do you just feel obligated to?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Marvel_fan

Yeah exactly I don’t think he meant anything by asking who the friend is, my others friends are like convinced it meant something and I’m like why would it, we’re past that. I’m not sure if this is a friendship I wanna keep tbh, like every time we hang out it’s just there’s nothing to actually talk about, and I just don’t think I respond as openly as I used to since I’m not really into him anymore. So it’s a bit awkward (at least for me) like it was fine a few months ago but something has changed and I can’t figure out why or what has changed. I just think he probably thinks I’m boring or something since all we talk about now is work and I refuse to have any conversation that isn’t superficial. Im supposed to be going to his birthday but he asked that when we were a bit closer so not sure if the invite is still on for me lol. I think I feel obliged to stay friends since we’ve been together the whole year and wouldn’t mind seeing him now and then but in terms of actively keeping the friendship im probably not gonna put that much effort in and I doubt he will either.

Probably just best to see how it goes and just let is fade. I don’t think we’re that compatible anyway, like he’s into all this mega adrenaline based stuff and im the complete opposite lol so all we have to talk about is literally just the course and occasionally life at home etc.