Is this normal for a friendship?

Just tell him how you feel

I suggest you distance yourself a little and cultivate other friendships… You might consider what is keeping you in this role with him? What’s in it for you? Do you enjoy rescuing, caregiving? Be honest with yourself… surrender judgement… so glad you are asking for input 💗

I kind of do. Like yesterday I got really sunburned. I told him I was in pain and sent him a photo of my arm. He responded with a laughing emojie.
So I said "you're mean", and he replied "me?" So I said "yes, laughing in my hour of need is mean." But he just didn't reply after that.
Today he's talking to me normally, totally avoiding the "mean / sunburn" remarks. He's changed the subject.

Well, i think its better if you don't fully start the convo first, you pull back see how he responds, then if he doesn't talk to you first you were never important in the first place to him. If you are "useful" to him he will talk to you.

(Original post by Anonymous)I've done that before to see how he'd react. He's gone a maximum of 2 weeks without messaging and then messaged me. Not asking how I am though, no usually to talk about himself.

I do thin its best, if you make new friends, becuase this friendship is not as nice for you as it should be. I am sure your a lovely person, but make new friends and try be less needy with him

Have a male friend (I'm female). I'm just not exactly sure how he feels about me. It feels kind of uneven so I'd like some opinions.

He rarely asks how I am or what I've been up to, yet I ask him often.

He didn't remember my last birthday until the afternoon and only because I got a bit cross after hinting about it and said "I'm hinting at you here." Then he said "oh, happy birthday, sorry I'm ****." But I never forget his birthday. I always message him at midnight and offer to buy him a present (although sometimes he refuses). He's never bought me a birthday present.

A couple of years ago I had a lump in my leg and I told him I was going for a scan on a specific date. He forgot about it until about a week later, then asked me about it as an afterthought, and said again "sorry, I'm ****, I forgot." Yet when he had a lump on his neck that he had removed, I was comforting him even on his way to the clinic, and worrying about him.

He's only ever once bought me a Christmas present. When I got excited about it and said "you've never bought me a present before" he replied "you've never deserved it before." But every year I ask him if he'd like a present from me. Sometimes he accepts, other times he refuses.

He's really rich so cost isn't an issue for presents. He's got much more money than me.

If he's in pain, or ill, I fuss over him. But if I say I'm hurt or ill he either puts a laughing emojis or just says "Aw".

I got a really good grade (90%) on an assignment but when he told him he just said "what happened to the rest?" (as in the other 10%). Yet when he achieved things I cheer him on, call him a star, tell him I'm proud of him.

I tell him I love him (platonically) but he's never once said it back. But he has said before that he cares, and that he'd cry if I died, and that I'm his bestie / best friend, and he's said to me "you know how I feel."

He calls himself a **** a lot. I've said in frustration (when he's acted like a jerk) on several occasions "remind me again why I'm friends with you!" And he replies "I have no idea."

I just don't know what to think about him at all. I care about him very much, but doesn't all this just indicate that he's not bothered about me?
I also have a sort of suspicion that he could be a narcissist but I don't know for sure. He's said before that he keeps people in his life that are useful. So I asked him if I'm useful and he said "yes, very". So I asked him how I'm useful and he said "because you ask me questions like that" which makes no sense to me!

Can I please have some opinions on this

Have a male friend (I'm female). I'm just not exactly sure how he feels about me. It feels kind of uneven so I'd like some opinions.

He rarely asks how I am or what I've been up to, yet I ask him often.

He didn't remember my last birthday until the afternoon and only because I got a bit cross after hinting about it and said "I'm hinting at you here." Then he said "oh, happy birthday, sorry I'm ****." But I never forget his birthday. I always message him at midnight and offer to buy him a present (although sometimes he refuses). He's never bought me a birthday present.

A couple of years ago I had a lump in my leg and I told him I was going for a scan on a specific date. He forgot about it until about a week later, then asked me about it as an afterthought, and said again "sorry, I'm ****, I forgot." Yet when he had a lump on his neck that he had removed, I was comforting him even on his way to the clinic, and worrying about him.

He's only ever once bought me a Christmas present. When I got excited about it and said "you've never bought me a present before" he replied "you've never deserved it before." But every year I ask him if he'd like a present from me. Sometimes he accepts, other times he refuses.

He's really rich so cost isn't an issue for presents. He's got much more money than me.

If he's in pain, or ill, I fuss over him. But if I say I'm hurt or ill he either puts a laughing emojis or just says "Aw".

I got a really good grade (90%) on an assignment but when he told him he just said "what happened to the rest?" (as in the other 10%). Yet when he achieved things I cheer him on, call him a star, tell him I'm proud of him.

I tell him I love him (platonically) but he's never once said it back. But he has said before that he cares, and that he'd cry if I died, and that I'm his bestie / best friend, and he's said to me "you know how I feel."

He calls himself a **** a lot. I've said in frustration (when he's acted like a jerk) on several occasions "remind me again why I'm friends with you!" And he replies "I have no idea."

I just don't know what to think about him at all. I care about him very much, but doesn't all this just indicate that he's not bothered about me?
I also have a sort of suspicion that he could be a narcissist but I don't know for sure. He's said before that he keeps people in his life that are useful. So I asked him if I'm useful and he said "yes, very". So I asked him how I'm useful and he said "because you ask me questions like that" which makes no sense to me!

Can I please have some opinions on this

i had a similiar situation with this before with a girl but most of the time we don't really reveal what we're feeling because we're scared that it may ruin the friendship or the girl may not feel the same way back even show she's showing really obvious hints, we just don't want to risk it until its 100% certain that she's feeling the same.
but damn bro is fumbling so bad its crazy need someone like this in my life too fr

Instead of resenting him for not matching your efforts, dial back on how much effort you're putting into the friendship. That way you'll be less frustrated.

It sounds too one-sided. These friendships aren't good just ghost him even if it's hard because he obviously doesn't care that much

Wait... you think he has non-platonic feelings for me?



That's good advice, thank you


I don't think I can ghost him. It really would be too hard.

given by what you said about him, i don't think so tbh especially since he forgot about your birthday and also the christmas present situation but honestly you gotta change how you treat him since he's not considerate of your actions at all. best way to do this is to treat him how he treats you fr and see how he reacts
almost sounds like his mother tho damn

Ok buddy, I think I see the problem!

Jerp

Yeah I don't think he does either. You're right I probably should.
Also yeah I know I fuss over him probably too much. He has said "yes mam" to me before when I've told him things like "be careful driving". I think it's just the way I am - I fuss if I care. Maybe I should stop it.

yes you should