My guy friend and I were extremely close for a good 3/4 years. We’d text every day and we’d always care for each other and ensure we were both happy beings. And if we were upset, we’d try out best to help each other out. He also told me he loved me so many times. Idk if he meant it at that time, but I think it was more of a friend way of saying ‘I appreciate you’, because he never told his other female friends that.
Anyway, we both had a thing for each other and stuff went one. We both really liked each other a lot, but the timing wasn’t right so I decided not to pursue a relationship with him, though I really was in love with him.
He’s had girlfriends in the past, however they’ve all broken up with him because of me. They all thing that me and him have this special bond or and they end up getting jealous of me (they’ve openly admitted that to him).
Anyway, he now has a girlfriend. I’m happy he does, and I’m not overly upset or anything. What made me really upset is that we stopped speaking after he got this new girlfriend. And from speaking to each other on a daily basis, we didn’t speak for 4 months. Though, he’s kept me on his ‘close friends’ private story for entirety of this duration.I realised during that ‘break’ between us how much I really loved him and talking to him and how he genuinely makes me a happy person and I just miss him ever so much. I cant make eye contact with him because I get nervous. And I’m not a person who typically starts conversation, which is another problem.
For the first time in a good few months, I’ve noticed that we’ve made eye contact loads of times and today he called out my name.
I didn’t really talk to him because I got really emotional but yeah.
As bad as this seems, every day I hope that him and his girlfriend have broken up, just so I can talk to him again. He was my comfort person and he was my happy person. I’m not proud of myself for thinking like that but I can’t help it.