i still miss someone from years ago:(
TLDR - title. but full post makes more sense lol
like the title says, i miss this guy i used to be involved with 3/4 years ago. he was funny and sweet and he made me feel happy and safe and like i could just be myself with him, baggage and trauma and all and he didn't judge me or let it bother him, he liked me regardless. he told me he loved me but i had to let him go (too complicated to go into the reasons here now) and despite his promises to stay by my side and both our efforts to stay in each other's lives, it couldn't work.
(you can skip reading the next para btw bc it's long and not that important ig but good context tho)
the first few months after we stopped talking it hurt like hell, i was so heartbroken that - although i try to deny it to myself now - im certain i was in love with him. i'd never felt that way about anyone til him and, even tho i've tried with many other guys after him, haven't since. it sucks so much because as cringe as this sounds, i think he may have been 'the one'. he even 'popped up' in my life again a couple times afterwards, the first time he was talking to my friend several months after we called it quits - but he said to my friend that he had never loved me and that he'd lied to me but my friend was convinced he was lying bc why would he feel the need to say that unless he was hurting and also the fact that he wrote me long letters when i tried to cut ties? the second time was 1.5yrs after we called it quits, he said asked my friend to ask me about something, i then spoke to him through her phone and we ended up talking for a couple hours and it felt really good and kinda like closure, except that i had found out he had a new girl (but he denied it to me when i mentioned her) and he told me not to get involved with any guys after my friend told him some stuff about me lol. i then found out he broke up with his new girl just a couple weeks after talking to me, apparently 'bc she was annoying' but due to the timing my friends think it may have had something to do with me...anyways then i didnt hear from him after that til a fake snapchat account by his sister's name tried to add me last summer, but im 95% sure it was him bc his sister doesnt even know me and she has no reason to talk to me even if she did and we have no mutuals lol. since then i've gone completely lowkey, deleting all socials, only a few close ppl have my number, and i dont go out much so he has no way of contacting me now even if he waned (which makes me kinda sad but i cant do anything about it bc if he comes back into my life - which logically i dont want, but stupidly i do - i want it to be bc he found me and reached out, rather than the other way around).
ANYWAYS even after successfully moving on and 'forgetting' about him, he still crossed my mind from time to time. but now for some reason i can't get him off my mind recently. my life has changed a lot since then, i have my friends and family, a job i love that keeps me busy, hobbies that keep me occupied, house-moving and of course netflix haha but he still manages to cross my mind multiple times a day. sometime i feel like i just miss what we had and not him, but then i resent him for leaving my life? so i must still have some lingering feelings for him still if im mad that he's gone? other times i feel like i just miss him full stop. it's so confusing, i dont get it. ive already deleted all the texts and pictures and his number, i dont talk about him with anyone anymore, i dont stalk his socials (tho i might now) so what more can i do to let him go completely?
like the title says, i miss this guy i used to be involved with 3/4 years ago. he was funny and sweet and he made me feel happy and safe and like i could just be myself with him, baggage and trauma and all and he didn't judge me or let it bother him, he liked me regardless. he told me he loved me but i had to let him go (too complicated to go into the reasons here now) and despite his promises to stay by my side and both our efforts to stay in each other's lives, it couldn't work.
(you can skip reading the next para btw bc it's long and not that important ig but good context tho)
the first few months after we stopped talking it hurt like hell, i was so heartbroken that - although i try to deny it to myself now - im certain i was in love with him. i'd never felt that way about anyone til him and, even tho i've tried with many other guys after him, haven't since. it sucks so much because as cringe as this sounds, i think he may have been 'the one'. he even 'popped up' in my life again a couple times afterwards, the first time he was talking to my friend several months after we called it quits - but he said to my friend that he had never loved me and that he'd lied to me but my friend was convinced he was lying bc why would he feel the need to say that unless he was hurting and also the fact that he wrote me long letters when i tried to cut ties? the second time was 1.5yrs after we called it quits, he said asked my friend to ask me about something, i then spoke to him through her phone and we ended up talking for a couple hours and it felt really good and kinda like closure, except that i had found out he had a new girl (but he denied it to me when i mentioned her) and he told me not to get involved with any guys after my friend told him some stuff about me lol. i then found out he broke up with his new girl just a couple weeks after talking to me, apparently 'bc she was annoying' but due to the timing my friends think it may have had something to do with me...anyways then i didnt hear from him after that til a fake snapchat account by his sister's name tried to add me last summer, but im 95% sure it was him bc his sister doesnt even know me and she has no reason to talk to me even if she did and we have no mutuals lol. since then i've gone completely lowkey, deleting all socials, only a few close ppl have my number, and i dont go out much so he has no way of contacting me now even if he waned (which makes me kinda sad but i cant do anything about it bc if he comes back into my life - which logically i dont want, but stupidly i do - i want it to be bc he found me and reached out, rather than the other way around).
ANYWAYS even after successfully moving on and 'forgetting' about him, he still crossed my mind from time to time. but now for some reason i can't get him off my mind recently. my life has changed a lot since then, i have my friends and family, a job i love that keeps me busy, hobbies that keep me occupied, house-moving and of course netflix haha but he still manages to cross my mind multiple times a day. sometime i feel like i just miss what we had and not him, but then i resent him for leaving my life? so i must still have some lingering feelings for him still if im mad that he's gone? other times i feel like i just miss him full stop. it's so confusing, i dont get it. ive already deleted all the texts and pictures and his number, i dont talk about him with anyone anymore, i dont stalk his socials (tho i might now) so what more can i do to let him go completely?
I guess try and find a new guy…..find a guy that has the same interests and personality as the other guy ….I bet you herd this saying “There are more fish in the sea”….just try and find out we’re it could take you
Original post by tater tot
I guess try and find a new guy…..find a guy that has the same interests and personality as the other guy ….I bet you herd this saying “There are more fish in the sea”….just try and find out we’re it could take you
i have tried talking to other guys tho but even the ones that seem to rlly like me just dont feel the same, like even if they're perfect on paper i can only ever see them as friends because i constantly compare them to him. idk how to move on and i desperately want to know if he has or not. i just want to kno how he's doing now but cant reach out to him and find out, and even if i did ik i would just start falling for him again.
if you feel that much for him then why don't you try to talk to him and find out if he still likes you if you cant move on....
Original post by Anonymous
i have tried talking to other guys tho but even the ones that seem to rlly like me just dont feel the same, like even if they're perfect on paper i can only ever see them as friends because i constantly compare them to him. idk how to move on and i desperately want to know if he has or not. i just want to kno how he's doing now but cant reach out to him and find out, and even if i did ik i would just start falling for him again.
I know exactly what you mean about 'on paper'. On paper doesn't matter, you can't replicate the right connection between two people. I've been missing people from my past too.
Original post by tater tot
if you feel that much for him then why don't you try to talk to him and find out if he still likes you if you cant move on....
i mean even if he did i dont think it could ever work out because my mum hates him and his family and he knows this, and my dad would flip out because i cant date anyone due to religious/cultural reasons.
that being said, i folded and asked my friend if she would talk to him again (bc she still has his number and didnt change hers) and ask what he's doing now and if he's seeing anyone, but nothing about me so he doesnt realise it's me asking lol (they were friends/friendly for a while so it wont be weird for her to talk to him)
Original post by SaucissonSecCy
I know exactly what you mean about 'on paper'. On paper doesn't matter, you can't replicate the right connection between two people. I've been missing people from my past too.
exactly that, like this guy isn't even perfect for me 'on paper' bc if i had to describe my ideal partner, he wouldnt meet some of the requirements but that didnt stop me from liking him (albeit when my standards were lower) or from missing him now, even after all the guys ive spoken to since him. idk where this random burst of missing him loads has come from all of a sudden, especially after all this time, it doesnt make sense.
Original post by Kawasa
Goodlooking guys break hundreds of hearts
not even that he's that goodlooking, he was just a sweet, funny guy who made me happy. other guys have been like that too and i had fun with them, but none of them are him.
Original post by Anonymous
i mean even if he did i dont think it could ever work out because my mum hates him and his family and he knows this, and my dad would flip out because i cant date anyone due to religious/cultural reasons.
that being said, i folded and asked my friend if she would talk to him again (bc she still has his number and didnt change hers) and ask what he's doing now and if he's seeing anyone, but nothing about me so he doesnt realise it's me asking lol (they were friends/friendly for a while so it wont be weird for her to talk to him)
exactly that, like this guy isn't even perfect for me 'on paper' bc if i had to describe my ideal partner, he wouldnt meet some of the requirements but that didnt stop me from liking him (albeit when my standards were lower) or from missing him now, even after all the guys ive spoken to since him. idk where this random burst of missing him loads has come from all of a sudden, especially after all this time, it doesnt make sense.
not even that he's that goodlooking, he was just a sweet, funny guy who made me happy. other guys have been like that too and i had fun with them, but none of them are him.
that being said, i folded and asked my friend if she would talk to him again (bc she still has his number and didnt change hers) and ask what he's doing now and if he's seeing anyone, but nothing about me so he doesnt realise it's me asking lol (they were friends/friendly for a while so it wont be weird for her to talk to him)
exactly that, like this guy isn't even perfect for me 'on paper' bc if i had to describe my ideal partner, he wouldnt meet some of the requirements but that didnt stop me from liking him (albeit when my standards were lower) or from missing him now, even after all the guys ive spoken to since him. idk where this random burst of missing him loads has come from all of a sudden, especially after all this time, it doesnt make sense.
not even that he's that goodlooking, he was just a sweet, funny guy who made me happy. other guys have been like that too and i had fun with them, but none of them are him.
just try to talk to him and see were it goes and it does not matter what your family thinks it is your life and not theirs
Original post by tater tot
just try to talk to him and see were it goes and it does not matter what your family thinks it is your life and not theirs
it's a lot more complicated than that but thanks for the advice anyways. im just waiting to hear back from my friend when she hears back from him, might update on here when i do, maybe.
Original post by Anonymous
it's a lot more complicated than that but thanks for the advice anyways. im just waiting to hear back from my friend when she hears back from him, might update on here when i do, maybe.
thats great
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- How to stop missing someone who isn't good for me
- Am I being manipulated or is she genuine?
- if I miss my offer by a grade will they be likely to let me in?
- Imperial missed offer
- Clearing confusion
- Can't get over my ex
- Year 11 for newcomers to UK
- Being given permanent job but still asking for references?
- Medicine/Psychiatry/Psychology books?
- Does this boy who’s 5 years younger than me like me?
- Near Miss Bath Econ Offer
- allen and overy solicitor apprenticeship
- Can't get a graduate job
- Girl I like (a lot) just entered into a relationship
- Disappointed
- Commuting to London or staying at Warwick
- acceptance rate for stem smart cambridge
- M&s graduate scheme 2023
- My placements in 3 days & I dont know my shifts bcz my cell reception is bad
- 3 years have passed
Latest
Trending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
