Anyone else terrified of uni ending and going back home?

I can’t believe it…I’m leaving uni in two days after 3 years! It’s been an incredible 3 years but it’s just dawning on me now how terrified I am to go back home. Since I’ve loved the independence that comes with being at uni I always assumed I’d find my own place once uni ended but due to my job circumstances I’m going back home. I’m worried that going back home will mean losing my autonomy and make me feel like a little kid again. On top of this I really don’t have any friends at home-all my friends are from uni and are either going back home too or continuing on at uni to do masters/longer degrees-so I’m very concerned on the loneliness front! Additionally throughout uni I’ve had a boyfriend for pretty much the whole 3 years and we’ve always lived 5 seconds away from each so the idea that we’re now gonna be going long distance after such ease in seeing each other also terrifies me because I really feel like I need to see people to maintain relationships! It’s all just very overwhelming and a big change!

Is anyone else concerned? Or has any tips for pushing through these worries if they’ve already struggled with similar concerns? :smile:

Reply 1

rodiane17

14

Original post by anaindiemood

I can’t believe it…I’m leaving uni in two days after 3 years! It’s been an incredible 3 years but it’s just dawning on me now how terrified I am to go back home. Since I’ve loved the independence that comes with being at uni I always assumed I’d find my own place once uni ended but due to my job circumstances I’m going back home. I’m worried that going back home will mean losing my autonomy and make me feel like a little kid again. On top of this I really don’t have any friends at home-all my friends are from uni and are either going back home too or continuing on at uni to do masters/longer degrees-so I’m very concerned on the loneliness front! Additionally throughout uni I’ve had a boyfriend for pretty much the whole 3 years and we’ve always lived 5 seconds away from each so the idea that we’re now gonna be going long distance after such ease in seeing each other also terrifies me because I really feel like I need to see people to maintain relationships! It’s all just very overwhelming and a big change!

Is anyone else concerned? Or has any tips for pushing through these worries if they’ve already struggled with similar concerns? :smile:

Im just here to follow the thread and if anybody else feels the same as you.

Original post by anaindiemood

I can’t believe it…I’m leaving uni in two days after 3 years! It’s been an incredible 3 years but it’s just dawning on me now how terrified I am to go back home. Since I’ve loved the independence that comes with being at uni I always assumed I’d find my own place once uni ended but due to my job circumstances I’m going back home. I’m worried that going back home will mean losing my autonomy and make me feel like a little kid again. On top of this I really don’t have any friends at home-all my friends are from uni and are either going back home too or continuing on at uni to do masters/longer degrees-so I’m very concerned on the loneliness front! Additionally throughout uni I’ve had a boyfriend for pretty much the whole 3 years and we’ve always lived 5 seconds away from each so the idea that we’re now gonna be going long distance after such ease in seeing each other also terrifies me because I really feel like I need to see people to maintain relationships! It’s all just very overwhelming and a big change!

Is anyone else concerned? Or has any tips for pushing through these worries if they’ve already struggled with similar concerns? :smile:

Hiya

First of all, congratulations on finishing uni! I'm glad you've had an amazing 3 years and hope you'll continue to grow from here on out.

As for your question, I've only just finished my second year but haven't received a graduate offer yet so I'm also worried about the prospect of having to move back in with my parents. You've literally written down every single thought that has already crossed my mind by now, so please know you're not the only one who's feeling this way. Plus I know so many people who are graduating soon and have had to move back as well, so I'm sure they'll relate with you too.

But one thing that helps me is, this is a phase and surely it'll pass. If you are job hunting right now, there will come a time when you'll get one and you can move out again. So if the prospect of living on your own drives you, use that as motivation to work harder towards your aim. Also have you checked if your uni's careers service offers support to students after graduating? Many of them do this so I'd recommend making use of that- they'll help you in discussing your options, finding opportunities and throughout the application process as well.

And I think you can always figure out a way to maintain your relationships- be it with friends or your boyfriend. Of course it takes effort from both sides and as long as both parties are willing to put that effort in, everything will be okay. Try to make plans once in a while to meet up your friends in person, or even Zoom meets. My distance friends and I do a virtual meet up like this once every month, and there's always a huge pool of tea to spill and it's always fun. Also you've probably already had the conversation with your boyfriend about how things will work now that you're not living close by anymore, but it's also important that you maintain honest and open communication about this throughout. I've been in a long-distance relationship before and this is what helped me the most as well.

I hope things work out for you in the end, it's certainly an uncertain phase but stay strong and you'll get through it :wink:

-Himieka

Reply 3

University of Surrey Student Rep

Official Rep

15

Original post by anaindiemood

I can’t believe it…I’m leaving uni in two days after 3 years! It’s been an incredible 3 years but it’s just dawning on me now how terrified I am to go back home. Since I’ve loved the independence that comes with being at uni I always assumed I’d find my own place once uni ended but due to my job circumstances I’m going back home. I’m worried that going back home will mean losing my autonomy and make me feel like a little kid again. On top of this I really don’t have any friends at home-all my friends are from uni and are either going back home too or continuing on at uni to do masters/longer degrees-so I’m very concerned on the loneliness front! Additionally throughout uni I’ve had a boyfriend for pretty much the whole 3 years and we’ve always lived 5 seconds away from each so the idea that we’re now gonna be going long distance after such ease in seeing each other also terrifies me because I really feel like I need to see people to maintain relationships! It’s all just very overwhelming and a big change!

Is anyone else concerned? Or has any tips for pushing through these worries if they’ve already struggled with similar concerns? :smile:

Hello!

It's lovely to hear that you've had such an incredible time at university. It's completely understandable to have different emotions as you leave such an important chapter of your life. Transitioning from autonomy to home life can indeed be challenging, but you are not alone in experiencing this. I find change and endings hard but remind myself that endings mean new beginnings can happen.

I suggest having open and honest conversations with your family (if possible) about your concerns and desires for autonomy. By expressing your thoughts and setting boundaries, you can establish a healthy balance between independence and living at home. Additionally, consider exploring new social opportunities outside of university to make new friends. Local clubs, volunteering, or engaging in activities you enjoy can help you connect with like-minded individuals and expand your social circle.

Maintaining connections with your university friends is also important. While distance may pose a challenge, technology allows us to stay connected. Schedule regular calls, video chats, or plan weekend visits to keep your relationships strong. Sharing experiences and maintaining open communication is key to making long-distance relationships thrive.

Student Minds has great blogs on this topic to help you navigate your feeling around it all: https://studentspace.org.uk/wellbeing/managing-the-end-of-your-time-at-university

I know it's hard, but change is a part of life and while it may feel overwhelming initially, you have the strength to adapt and grow. Give yourself time to adjust, be patient with yourself, and embrace the opportunities that lie ahead.

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need help navigating support or suggestions to make friends/stay connected outside of uni etc.

Best wishes,
Sam (she/her)
MSc Psychology

Reply 4

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

16

@anaindiemood

It will be difficult to adjust, as you will be used to spending some time at home but not being at home all the time! You have changed and your family might still see you as the person they sent off to uni three years ago! If you are living at home, there may be things that you no longer need to worry about, food shopping, cooking, cleaning, bills etc...but if you are at home, you also have to be willing to accept that with those advantages come the disadvantages of not being free to do whatever you want, when you want etc....So trying to be independent, while also enjoying the advantages you get by being dependent is a tough one!

What are your plans post uni? Are you looking for work? Are you planning to travel? I think it's really important to have something to do even if it's just voluntary work. I think otherwise if you are at home all the time you could get down quite easily and if your friends are all busy studying then you could feel more isolated, with everybody doing something but feeling like you're not doing anything, have nothing interesting to share about etc...

It will be tough not seeing your boyfriend as often as you have, but I guess after three years, you will either realise that you both really do want to make this work and look for work in the same city etc...or that actually it was just really nice to be in a relationship at uni and that now you both want different things. The distance will either make or break the relationship, so it's really important to know what you want for the future, so if it doesn't work out you do not feel like your whole world has collapsed.

In short, you have to go back home, but make plans so that if you don't get to see your uni friends so much, and/or if you and your boyfriend drift apart, you have something positive to focus on.

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield

Reply 5

University of Sunderland Student Ambassador

Official Rep

11

Original post by anaindiemood

I can’t believe it…I’m leaving uni in two days after 3 years! It’s been an incredible 3 years but it’s just dawning on me now how terrified I am to go back home. Since I’ve loved the independence that comes with being at uni I always assumed I’d find my own place once uni ended but due to my job circumstances I’m going back home. I’m worried that going back home will mean losing my autonomy and make me feel like a little kid again. On top of this I really don’t have any friends at home-all my friends are from uni and are either going back home too or continuing on at uni to do masters/longer degrees-so I’m very concerned on the loneliness front! Additionally throughout uni I’ve had a boyfriend for pretty much the whole 3 years and we’ve always lived 5 seconds away from each so the idea that we’re now gonna be going long distance after such ease in seeing each other also terrifies me because I really feel like I need to see people to maintain relationships! It’s all just very overwhelming and a big change!

Is anyone else concerned? Or has any tips for pushing through these worries if they’ve already struggled with similar concerns? :smile:

Hey,

I know alot of people feel this way when they are finishing uni. People have said it feels strange to leave full time education when you have been in education for so long. Maybe have a conversation with your parents about your worries, it may help you.

I hope this helps,

Ellen
Y3 Medical Student
University of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador

Anyone else terrified of uni ending and going back home?

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