student life and makeing friends

Hi everyone,
I am starting University in September and i'm nervous about the whole living away from home, part of it.
I'm also worried that I won't be able make any lasting friendships at uni. I have autism so I think I will find it even harder to connect with others.
I'm worried about freshers week as I feel there is a pressure to meet lots of people, to see who you gel with and make friends.
I wondered what peoples experiences where of freshers and did you make friends quickly in the first few weeks or did it take you longer?
Do you have any tips on how to navigate freshers, particularly for someone with autism?
How did you keep the social dialouge going with course mates and friends and how did you find a balance between coursework and socialising.

Look forward to hearing your answers
Thankyou

Hi everyone,
I am starting University in September and i'm nervous about the whole living away from home, part of it.
I'm also worried that I won't be able make any lasting friendships at uni. I have autism so I think I will find it even harder to connect with others.
I'm worried about freshers week as I feel there is a pressure to meet lots of people, to see who you gel with and make friends.
I wondered what peoples experiences where of freshers and did you make friends quickly in the first few weeks or did it take you longer?
Do you have any tips on how to navigate freshers, particularly for someone with autism?
How did you keep the social dialouge going with course mates and friends and how did you find a balance between coursework and socialising.

Look forward to hearing your answers
Thankyou

Hi everyone,
I am starting University in September and i'm nervous about the whole living away from home, part of it.
I'm also worried that I won't be able make any lasting friendships at uni. I have autism so I think I will find it even harder to connect with others.
I'm worried about freshers week as I feel there is a pressure to meet lots of people, to see who you gel with and make friends.
I wondered what peoples experiences where of freshers and did you make friends quickly in the first few weeks or did it take you longer?
Do you have any tips on how to navigate freshers, particularly for someone with autism?
How did you keep the social dialouge going with course mates and friends and how did you find a balance between coursework and socialising.

Look forward to hearing your answers
Thankyou

Hi everyone,
I am starting University in September and i'm nervous about the whole living away from home, part of it.
I'm also worried that I won't be able make any lasting friendships at uni. I have autism so I think I will find it even harder to connect with others.
I'm worried about freshers week as I feel there is a pressure to meet lots of people, to see who you gel with and make friends.
I wondered what peoples experiences where of freshers and did you make friends quickly in the first few weeks or did it take you longer?
Do you have any tips on how to navigate freshers, particularly for someone with autism?
How did you keep the social dialouge going with course mates and friends and how did you find a balance between coursework and socialising.

Look forward to hearing your answers
Thankyou

Hi everyone,
I am starting University in September and i'm nervous about the whole living away from home, part of it.
I'm also worried that I won't be able make any lasting friendships at uni. I have autism so I think I will find it even harder to connect with others.
I'm worried about freshers week as I feel there is a pressure to meet lots of people, to see who you gel with and make friends.
I wondered what peoples experiences where of freshers and did you make friends quickly in the first few weeks or did it take you longer?
Do you have any tips on how to navigate freshers, particularly for someone with autism?
How did you keep the social dialouge going with course mates and friends and how did you find a balance between coursework and socialising.

Look forward to hearing your answers
Thankyou

Hi everyone,
I am starting University in September and i'm nervous about the whole living away from home, part of it.
I'm also worried that I won't be able make any lasting friendships at uni. I have autism so I think I will find it even harder to connect with others.
I'm worried about freshers week as I feel there is a pressure to meet lots of people, to see who you gel with and make friends.
I wondered what peoples experiences where of freshers and did you make friends quickly in the first few weeks or did it take you longer?
Do you have any tips on how to navigate freshers, particularly for someone with autism?
How did you keep the social dialouge going with course mates and friends and how did you find a balance between coursework and socialising.

Look forward to hearing your answers
Thankyou

Why don't you give the university union welfare team a call this summer and ask if there are any adaptations for folks like yourself. I don't know what your thing is, but I guarantee that at university, there will be other people who don't want to be loud and scream in the streets but just want to do quieter things and chill. Be brave, make a plan for yourself and take care. You will be fine!

Hi there,

I'm sorry that you're nervous about living away from home and making friends. It totally makes sense that this concerns you. I know that at Cardiff there are specific events which may work for any student. It's definitely best to be aware of your needs and boundaries and perhaps try to talk it through with their well-being team before freshers week if you can.

Although freshers week is notorious for wild club nights, you can really make what you want out of the week and you do not have to attend every event. It's defiantly worth contacting your uni but there are so many different people at uni, I know that you will meet the right people at some point. Until then, try to make the most.

I hope this helps

Jaz - Cardiff Student Rep

Talk to your student's union or welfare team. I know at my university they have something at the start of term specifically to help autistic people settle into such a big new experience. (My partner is working for it and has autism as well). Hopefullt wherever you're at has something of similar value to help you settle in and relieve some of the anxieties that come with living away from home.

Remember the golden rule that everyone is in the same boat and you will find your crowd. I didn't make that many friends very quickly either because I have anxiety and social situations plus covid (2020 student) plus introvert made it really hard to find people. But you will not be alone and that is the key thing. You have to push yourself outside your bubble a lot in the first term to really get into the flow of university life. I know you will be able to, just believe and don't be afraid to leave events or meetings if you need to. The first term for fresher's is all about finding what works and what doesn't.

Hope this helps,
Dom

Hey,
Your concerns are completely valid and common, try to keep in mind a lot of people will be alone at university and also looking to make friends as well I recommend looking into the societies that your university offer as they will cover a lot of interests from sport to movies and board games ect. the societies usually organise the social gatherings and that's when a lot of people find their friendship groups. There will also be a few mixers and events that you can attend during freshers week, people are normally very friendly and open to new people during this time so approach them, ask their course, where they're from and how they're finding the university so far just to get a conversation started!

People also tend to gravitate to their house mates to start with, you will be living with them so you may find it useful to get to know them and maybe explore your university town together. With course mates you already have a common interest so it's a good place to start, discussing your lectures or seminars and maybe even asking to study together can be a great way to spend time with people whilst being productive. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to find solid friendships within the first week as some of people do develop them later on and those who you are friends with at first may not be who you end up being close with.

Finding a good social life and work balance is important at university as you can get carried away with both, try to set yourself specific times to study and other times to go out and spend time with people, as well as finding time to be alone as to not get overwhelmed. Try to stay on top of your readings and course work as falling as little as a week behind can cause a lot of catch-up work and unnecessary stress. Your university should also have accommodations to help you not get too overwhelmed with the work load and to tailor a specific learning plan for you, try to contact your university to see what support they have available alongside possibly applying for a DSA which will help you access the resources you need to help your study. You can look into that here https://www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowance-dsa

Good luck! Hope this helps
-Malek
University of Kent Rep

Hiya,

I think it’s completely normal to have these worries and is probably one that most people have. I had similar worries before starting at ARU. I think everyone has their own timeline for finding their place at uni. Some make friends straight away and others take a bit more time.

I started placement on the welcome week so I missed out on all of it but I don’t think it made a difference long term. I allowed myself to go at my own pace and I’ve made two good friends who I spend most of my time with. I prefer it that way as I don’t like going out clubbing in big groups.

There will be others that have similar interests to you! Have you considered joining a social club that you’re interested in?

I’d suggest not being too hard on yourself. Give yourself time to settle in and find the people you connect with. Don’t feel pressured to get involved if you don’t want to but if you’re interested then go for it and try to enjoy it!

In terms of balancing social life and course work, I always suggest a diary. Helps keeps track of all your course work, daily goals and deadlines. That way you can see what days work for socialising. I try not to do too much socialising when there’s a deadline approaching as I know I get quite stressed.

Take your time with all and see what works for you. If you ever feel like you’re struggling reach out the the well-being team at your university.

I hope this helps

Sophie (ARU)

Hi there,

Firstly, uni is an amazing experience. I personally am really enjoying it.
I didn’t find my friends in the first few weeks of uni. I made some friends on my course in freshers but my main group of friends I didn’t meet until about a month in. I found the best way to meet new people was through societies, you find people who are interested in the same things as you, as well as the same sports etc.

I hope this helps,

Ellen
Y3 Medical Student
University of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador

Hey there @ArtistFina21 !
First I just want to say your concerns are completely normal and everyone is always nervous about making friends at university before they go. Having said this, if no one made the effort to speak to each other then everyone would sit there all year still feeling nervous and not engaging with each other. You've either got to put yourself out there with the people that look the most social and easy to get on with or you can put yourself in the best position possible to meet people and make friends.

The best way to make friends at university is to join a society. If you have a particular hobby or something you've always wanted to try then head down to the Societies Fair during freshers week. Go with your flatmates if going by yourself feels daunting to you. Everyone there is always really friendly and they're there to help you at the end of the day. If you want the sports side but not the competitive element of sport societies then lots of universities offer social versions of their sports team which is light-commitment and still great to meet people. A lot of the time people will approach you but in the rare case they don't, just think of it like 'I already have something in common with these people because we've joined the same society'. Use that as a starting point and go from there.

Freshers week may appear daunting but that's purely because there's this expectation that everyone goes out drinking every night and don't sleep. That's just not the case. Not everyone who goes to university enjoys going out and drinking and that's absolutely fine. No one should pressure you into doing that if you don't want to. There's so many more things you can do during freshers than going out. For example, your university will have so many welcome week events. Use this time to introduce yourself to people or get to know your flatmates and just overall get comfortable. Moving away from home is a really scary thing and it will always take some time to adjust. Don't just throw yourself in at the deep end because it takes some time to get used to. Find the things that you enjoy and find the people that you enjoy doing those things with. If that means you're not the most social in your first week then that's fine, everyone works at different stages. But don't let things pass you by because you're worried about what the outcome of the situation might be. Freshers week is a great time to dip your toes into the social pool, rather than chucking yourself in. Don't let people pressure you, take things at your own pace.

The best things you can do now is join as many freshers groups on Facebook as you can. It's a lot easier to reach out to people on social media than to just go up to them in person. Reach out to people in your accommodation and on your course to start with, just to make sure you have a good support system to lean on before you actually go.

Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU