do i need to feel bad when my bf does this?

hey everyone. me & my bf have been dating for almost 2 years now. just for context, im more religious than him. we’ve had a rocky past when it comes to sexual interactions between each other. for the past couple of months, we’ve barely done anything intimate & i was okay with it because i wasn’t in the mood/didn’t feel comfortable to do so (due to past). however, he’s on holiday right now & we had an argument about ‘nudes’. he said that he wanted to see something because it’s been so long & it keeps the ‘sexual excitement’ there. however he keeps reminding me to send a pic to him like it’s homework & i confronted him about it saying i don’t like how it feels like homework & i don’t feel comfortable doing so. the way he apologised & responded was so childish & idk what to do. i told him the way he was acting kind of made me lose feelings because he wasn’t understanding of the fact i don’t want to be sexual unless we’re getting married.

he kept saying all gfs sends their bfs pics & i disagreed. am i the wrong? he said he’ll stop asking me or expecting something sexual but depe
down i know he wants it & i know i can’t give it to him although he’s sexually frustrated (h told me) there’s more to the story but idk what to do this is a rant / vent

Reply 1

pigeonwarrior

Ok so this is just my personal opinion and some genuine advice, I could be completely wrong but if I were you and if my bf was acting this way I would leave him. Not saying it's easy at all...it isn't but I would do what's best for me and put myself first. It sounds selfish but I guess sometimes in life you have to be selfish for yourself. You are the only one who can really look out for yourself. Naturally, I'm saying this based on what you've put and my own feelings buuut again you are the one who can make the best decision. Once again imma say I can be wrong, but this is what I think!

Reply 2

xxColinxx

First off, you're obviously not doing anything "wrong" by not sending him nudes (and whatever other intimate things you're not comfortable with). Every relationship is unique, and the most important thing is that both people in a relationship understand & respect each other. Obviously that doesn't mean you have to agree on every little thing for a relationship to work, but with the situation you're describing it sounds like he's being overly demanding...which is definitely not cool.

Almost two years is a pretty long relationship. If he's *still* frustrated and acting this way, it might just be that you both are too different on important aspects of a relationship. It's hard to explain but he should ideally respect the fact you have enough self confidence to stick to what you're comfortable with, and in an indirect way it should be a turn on for him. But instead it sounds like it's just leading to arguments and frustration for both of you.

Has the overall situation gotten better or worse during the two years you've been together?

Reply 3

nocturnalpeer

You are definitely NOT in the wrong. If you don't feel comfortable sending nudes, then you should not feel pressured to do so. All girlfriends don't send their bfs pics and the fact that he uses this as an argument and wants you to send them even though you don't want to is a red flag in itself. In my opinion, a partner that truly cares about you wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable or do something you are not happy with sexually. No matter what he says, you don't need to feel bad at all. You are perfectly valid for not wanting to send nudes.