My friends are being overbearing?
I feel like my best friends are kind of overbearing when it comes to meeting up.
For some context, we became friends at 16 in sixth form and are now 22.
We used to go out around every 2 weeks previously when we were at uni and I was more than happy to go because I had a lot of spare time.
However, now we have all got jobs and are busy with our lives, I thought that at this point the friendships would become more low maintenance so we can get on with things, but if anything they have become a lot more overbearing, wanting to meet several times a week. I’m the type of person that likes my own space and enjoys chilling after work/weekends. I’m more than happy to text/Facetime but I like to do my own things in my spare time you know? Preferring to go out around once a month now.
But my friends don’t understand this - whenever I say I don’t want to go, they get offended and make ‘jokes’ that I never want to see them.
I feel like I’m pushing them away by doing this, which I of course don’t want to and I value them as good friends. Any advice?
For some context, we became friends at 16 in sixth form and are now 22.
We used to go out around every 2 weeks previously when we were at uni and I was more than happy to go because I had a lot of spare time.
However, now we have all got jobs and are busy with our lives, I thought that at this point the friendships would become more low maintenance so we can get on with things, but if anything they have become a lot more overbearing, wanting to meet several times a week. I’m the type of person that likes my own space and enjoys chilling after work/weekends. I’m more than happy to text/Facetime but I like to do my own things in my spare time you know? Preferring to go out around once a month now.
But my friends don’t understand this - whenever I say I don’t want to go, they get offended and make ‘jokes’ that I never want to see them.
I feel like I’m pushing them away by doing this, which I of course don’t want to and I value them as good friends. Any advice?
Hey!
Personally I don't feel like you are doing anything wrong. I totally understand that you want more space, and you deserve for that to be respected without judgment. Have you expressed why you don't always want to go out? How you phrased it above was great, namely that you value them as friends and you don't want to push them away but you need more time to yourself than they do, maybe try saying stuff like that to them?
I don't really have much advice other than communicating why you feel like not going out, instead of saying "i don't want to" yk? Sorry if these was not helpful
Personally I don't feel like you are doing anything wrong. I totally understand that you want more space, and you deserve for that to be respected without judgment. Have you expressed why you don't always want to go out? How you phrased it above was great, namely that you value them as friends and you don't want to push them away but you need more time to yourself than they do, maybe try saying stuff like that to them?
I don't really have much advice other than communicating why you feel like not going out, instead of saying "i don't want to" yk? Sorry if these was not helpful
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