Why is making friends so difficult as you get older?

honestly as a child i was somewhat lucky at making friends and being confident but now that i'm 19 its just so hard, i always feel out of place and awkward in social settings and i just feel like i cannot make friends anymore. i really miss having friends ngl and covid made it so much worse

Reply 1

Aufbau

Main difference is time. The older you get the less free time you and those around you have. It's easier to make friends and find common ground when you are placed together through school. Just keep trying. Be the first to arrange something. You might get rejected 10 times, but that 1 time you do actually have the coffee, it's great.

Reply 2

username6217924

I think it's also because of maturity. As kids, we'll be besties with someone just because they have the same bag as us or they like the same color. As we get older we look past those shallow traits and try to find people we can build a significant and genuine bond with. And that's really hard.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

How do you make friends as you get older?

Reply 4

1582

Volunteer Team

I've found it to be the opposite. I've many more friends now than I did when I was younger, and the people I hang out with most often I've met in the past year and a half.

Put yourself in situations where you'll meet people with similar interests. I've social groups centred around my hobbies, e.g. I co-lead a local writers group.

Reply 5

gjd800

I have always found it easy, and in my mid 30s now I'm probably the most comfortable I've ever been so I find it the easiest it has ever been.

I think covid has a lot to do with things for you you young ones because it stunted a lot of you in social terms, and people are still catching up from that. A lot of it has to do with how comfortable you are in yourself. If you feel ok then that comes across to others - it's a confidence thing really. So do stuff to build your confidence and the rest will follow.