feeling misunderstood

I often feel misunderstood in friendships as when I try to solve it or say my side it goes downhill. But if i dont say anything I get misunderstood either way. So i just wanted help with what I could say to avoid such things.

I personally feel like I'm more emotionally matured than my peers so this may be a reason why. According to a friend I use complex words but to me it doesn't seem so? English is not my first language so complex words are a headache to me so idrk how that happens.

I feel really lonely and misunderstood, and I want to improve myself for the better so advice is really appreciated

thank you x and apologies for the rambling

Reply 1

rubymacbeth

8

Have you said to them that you feel misunderstood?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Well I tried to in the past but I couldn't phrase it quite well I have told a friend so far since I find it hard to explain

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Well I tried to in the past but I couldn't phrase it quite well I have told a friend so far since I find it hard to explain

But to some others I haven't has idk how to bring it up

Reply 4

HoldThisL

21

i don't think anyone here is going to be able to offer great advice without some more details

Reply 5

hyacinth77

16

Original post by Anonymous

I often feel misunderstood in friendships as when I try to solve it or say my side it goes downhill. But if i dont say anything I get misunderstood either way. So i just wanted help with what I could say to avoid such things.

I personally feel like I'm more emotionally matured than my peers so this may be a reason why. According to a friend I use complex words but to me it doesn't seem so? English is not my first language so complex words are a headache to me so idrk how that happens.

I feel really lonely and misunderstood, and I want to improve myself for the better so advice is really appreciated

thank you x and apologies for the rambling

What do you mean you feel misunderstood? In what way?
Also you seem to suggest whether you try or not, your friendships go downhill- perhaps you're unconsciously making these friendships not work out by holding this mindset.
Ultimately friends are there to understand you and support you. To listen to you and accept you for who you are. However, you need to also understand that you shouldn't feel the need to change the way you act/talk just to keep friends. The good ones will stay by you no matter what.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by hyacinth77

What do you mean you feel misunderstood? In what way?
Also you seem to suggest whether you try or not, your friendships go downhill- perhaps you're unconsciously making these friendships not work out by holding this mindset.
Ultimately friends are there to understand you and support you. To listen to you and accept you for who you are. However, you need to also understand that you shouldn't feel the need to change the way you act/talk just to keep friends. The good ones will stay by you no matter what.

Ig when I say I get misunderstood I literally mean sometimes I say smth and then they misinterpret the information and then things can sometimes go a bit awry. Things do get solved but it can get quite annoying. And then when you try to explain yourself (cuz it obvs came out wrong) but you don't want to seem too defensive and make others ****ed. Hence why I said how I talk, weird I know. Your right tho, thank you anyway x
Just mainly had a lot of change in friendship groups/ppl

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Ig when I say I get misunderstood I literally mean sometimes I say smth and then they misinterpret the information and then things can sometimes go a bit awry. Things do get solved but it can get quite annoying. And then when you try to explain yourself (cuz it obvs came out wrong) but you don't want to seem too defensive and make others ****ed. Hence why I said how I talk, weird I know. Your right tho, thank you anyway x
Just mainly had a lot of change in friendship groups/ppl

Make others upset

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

smart people are heavily misunderstood, sadly. Just try and meet them halfway. But if they're your true friends and they know you often don't intend to say things the way it comes out, they can also try and be a bit more understanding. Especially after your explanations.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

smart people are heavily misunderstood, sadly. Just try and meet them halfway. But if they're your true friends and they know you often don't intend to say things the way it comes out, they can also try and be a bit more understanding. Especially after your explanations.

I wouldn't say I'm smart but yea thanks for the advice xx

Reply 10

hhhhu09-ioju90

14

Original post by Anonymous

I wouldn't say I'm smart but yea thanks for the advice xx

Honestly, I feel the same at times. I feel that my friends don't understand me (not in an emo way) and it does get lonely at times. Good thing is you are not alone. Maybe your friends even feel the same way. I think it's part of being a teenager (if you are) and when you grow up you will meet like-minded people. Hope this made you feel better in some capacity.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by HoldThisL

i don't think anyone here is going to be able to offer great advice without some more details

Okay let's say that I'm trying to get my point across e.g friend b is being weird and not themselves

Then I ask my other friends if that's the case. Then friend a points out it isn't nice to talk behind their back and says do u see friend b as an enemy. (Past friendship issues where b was acting weird, due to miscommunication.) I obvs don't but my intentions have come off like that. Then friend a obvs is upset and thinks I don't want to be friends with b (as they haven't done anything wrong so I'm wrong for talking behind their back).
Obvs I apologise as being unintentionally malicious. And friend a tries to listen to my side as this couldn't have come out of nowhere.

So given the chance I try to explain myself. But it angers them more as they asked me "why I couldn't be more direct with friend b and just simply ask myself?"

They say don't make small matters turn big which is true. But I was just worried abt friend b as they are quite sensitive and idk what to do, as I tried comforting them, but I'm not quite good at it so I wanted advice. Friend a says next time promise you wouldn't do smth like that and I do. They say be more direct with b and personally ask them yourselves.

Clearly it isn't set like black and white. But I felt misunderstood as my intentions weren't malicious but it came off like that. Problem solved as you can see but it was a bit frustrating.

This is an example btw that I could think of.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by hhhhu09-ioju90

Honestly, I feel the same at times. I feel that my friends don't understand me (not in an emo way) and it does get lonely at times. Good thing is you are not alone. Maybe your friends even feel the same way. I think it's part of being a teenager (if you are) and when you grow up you will meet like-minded people. Hope this made you feel better in some capacity.

Yeah I am a teen😅

They seem rlly carefree which I envy them abt it which I don't try to because it will become bad I have to be grateful with what I have.

I just find it easier to talk to ppl older than me for some odd as reason.

Reply 13

hhhhu09-ioju90

14

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah I am a teen😅

They seem rlly carefree which I envy them abt it which I don't try to because it will become bad I have to be grateful with what I have.

I just find it easier to talk to ppl older than me for some odd as reason.

Be careful, it might be easier for you to talk to people older than you, but it also puts you in a position where you can be taken advantage of. Some older people have good intentions, but a lot see us teenagers as easy things to manipulate. Sorry if I'm being too cynical, you just can't trust a lot of people these days.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah I am a teen😅

They seem rlly carefree which I envy them abt it which I don't try to because it will become bad I have to be grateful with what I have.

I just find it easier to talk to ppl older than me for some odd as reason.

Obvs they aren't carefree bc everyone has their own issues obvs or not

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by hhhhu09-ioju90

Be careful, it might be easier for you to talk to people older than you, but it also puts you in a position where you can be taken advantage of. Some older people have good intentions, but a lot see us teenagers as easy things to manipulate. Sorry if I'm being too cynical, you just can't trust a lot of people these days.