Regret breaking up

I (a 22 year old woman) broke up with my long-term girlfriend (also 22) about 6 months ago cos I was getting overwhelmed with her and we weren't getting on like we used to and I just had a lot going on in my own life. I was the one who ended things and obviously she took it really badly and I felt really bad but I thought ending it was best for both us at the time. I still loved her but I didn't want to be with her anymore. She wanted to still talk initially but I didn't so we haven't been in contact for like 5 months.

I was feeling so much better at first after the break up once I got over feeling guilty but now I'm screwing all the time thinking I made such a mistake. I feel like I was too hasty ending things when were just going through a rough patch and I should've thought about it more and I miss her all the time. As far as I know, she hasn't been dating anyone new, and I've been thinking if I should reach out to her again and apologise? But then I feel like I would be being really unfair to her cos she must've moved on by now. And I know my intention is really I'm kinda hoping we'll reconnect and maybe get back together. I just regret it so much. She just means so much to me, we were each other's firsts, and she helped me gain the confidence to come out to my family and I just feel like such an idiot for letting her go. But I should probably leave her be. Has anyone else ever reconnected with an ex?

Reply 1

hotpud

Do you realise you have contradicted yourself?

You said you were getting overwhelmed and you weren't getting on like you used to. You then said you didn't want to be with her felt better when you had split up.

Now you are saying it was a mistake. It wasn't a mistake. You took a big decision and at the time it was the right decision because you have effectively said it was the right decision in saying you felt better afterwards. It still is the right decision. What you are feeling right now is lonely hence the desire to get back with her because you see it as an easy pathway to go somewhere that is familiar and not lonely. If you go back, you still won't be right for each other and she will be constantly wondering if you are going to dump her again.

The real solution is to solve your loneliness.