Lost the ability to love?

If you weren't together he's not your ex. Why couldn't a relationship happen between you and him?

We were together but it didn't work out

I couldn't be with someone I really loved. I met him in 2017 and it was literally love at first sight. I understand it was attraction at first sight but it was so strong and so intense. The best part was that it was mutual. He felt the same as I did when we saw each other for the first time.

It was a beautiful feeling and I had never felt the way I did. Anyway, we couldn't be together and I had to accept that we were not together and will never be.

He moved away to Spain, found a Spanish girlfriend and I continued living in London.

It was so difficult and I couldn't get over him until 2021. I eventually realised that he would never return back and we were never meant to be together.

I did move on and dated a few guys but ever since I moved on, I can no longer feel any affection or love. I can be attracted to a guy but it doesnt feel the same as it did with my ex. I also have a lot of distrust towards guys and relationships because the guys I dated only wanted to hook up and actually had no interest in me as a person. So I try to remain aloof.

Even if the guy is super attractive, I still don't get butterflies. I dont know what has happened to me.

I'm still a romantic and I still yearn for romance but I don't know if there is a guy I can experience this with.

I dont know what to do.

I'm 32 now but I don't want to be 35-39 and single and lonely. I see so many women in their mid to late thirties who are so insecure and unhappy with their lives and whenever I see them or hear their excuses. I'm always like I dont want to be their shoes.

But with the way I'm going, I don't know.
Is this normal or have I lost the ability to love?