My A level grades still effect my mental health after 4 years.

What if you had got 157 marks out of 270? Then how would you feel? Probably even more gutted?

I feel your disappointment but regardless you should still celebrate some very good results in some difficult subjects. On the day of an exam it can be a lottery as to what questions turn up on the paper. The amount of effort and mental head pain preparing to do the exams is the physical brain cell equivalent of trying to run an Ultra marathon three times in a row. When you don't get the result you anticipated it is a devastating blow, and one quite naturally you cannot quite comprehend. A bit like having a KO in a boxing match. Takes you a while to get up again after the count. How you recover, and how you react to your perception of failure is more important than you not getting AAA. Know what you want and then be determined and get it. If you don't know what you want then it is difficult to find the energy to do it. Give yourself time and space to enjoy life too, get your head and your physical self recharged and ready to do 'battle' If you think you might be a bit depressed seek help from family members if you can or go and talk through your feelings with your GP. Your lack of drive and push could just be a natural response to your brain cells being 'fried' over a sustained period of time (and yes they will recover) Antidotes are just doing physical manual work, or activities that are manually focussed with no cognitive demand.

If you are really interested in medicine, then never give up. Your wish to study the subject does not stop at age 21 as you can apply as a mature student at any age probably up to the age of about 40 (to be realistic for training time scales) You may get lots of rejections, and you might not get the prestigious top Uni's you want - but if you believe in the subject (medicine) enough and believe in yourself you can do it. The Government has to recruit more doctors right now and in the next decade I am sure there will be more places available to study medicine going forward (providing they don't use the recruit from abroad approach) In between if you have a love of everything health immerse yourself in it. Keep working in the field you have qualified for but use your 'spare down time' to study health related subjects. Psychology - train as a mental health advocate/suicide prevention volunteer / Volunteer in mental health support. Trauma - Get trained in trauma courses, go abroad and study trauma (the US is big on research), enrol as a volunteer in the Red Cross or St John Ambulance, learn first aid and nursing skills, teach the trauma and first aid. Join the TA, work at a homeless shelter, work with addiction support services, volunteer in a hospice. There will be so many opportunities to improve your knowledge of people, what makes them tick, being able to understand life from a different perspective and being able to talk to people is a big plus in medicine.

At the moment you are probably feeling burnt out and cynical about the whole show. However, you will always have a choice despite not getting your perceived 'perfect' grades, and that is no bar to your future life success. Avoid the 'what if' syndrome. It is what you do with what you have that matters, and your attitude to life, believing in yourself that can take you so much further in life than any exam grade. Your emotional IQ is as important as academic IQ. A-levels are just one measure in a whole raft of qualifications you are likely to accrue. Once you have a degree or higher qualification it 'succeeds' A-Levels.

If you keep knocking on doors, one will eventually open. Go back to your Uni careers section and see if you can find someone to talk through your options. The world is your oyster here or abroad. In between just find your love of life again and just keep things really simple. Cast the net far and wide and look at all options. You may decide to ditch medicine entirely and that may be the right decision for you further down the line. But use your time to research well, explore opportunities and gain perspective on where you have been, where you would like to be and where you are now. Above all stay healthy and happy.

I took my A levels in 2019 and achieved AAB in Chemistry, Maths and Biology. My plan was to take a gap year and apply for medicine but I lost all my confidence after achieving the B in Biology. After that, I decided to still take the gap year and apply for Chemical Engineering at unis like UCL, Nottingham, Manchester etc.

I got all 5 of my offers and now I am a ChemEng graduate from Manchester with 2.1 but still to this date I regret my A level results. What bothers me especially is the B in Biology. I remember on the results day being 3% or 8 marks away from an A that really hurt me. Well, I actually remember my exact mark it was 150/270 whilst an A was 158/270.

I am posting this because I need to vent this away and to let you all know that please work very hard for your A-levels. They determine the university that you go to and the profession you end up in. Being able to study at the best universities is a prestigious opportunity.

For me, unfortunately, after my A level results I hardly recovered in academia. I just made it through my degree and right now have no motivation to apply for jobs.