No friends, how to cope

Hi,

I’m in my final year at university and I have no friends. Well I did but I find that they act all friendly and invite me when they need something and the second they don’t need anything they leave. Like they all had dinner together yesterday and only texted me to use some of my stuff that they knew I had (vanilla pods and an electric vegetable cutter). I’ve allowed them to have/use the items before only because I was joining them and also having dinner. Now looking back I should’ve said no. I know it’s pathetic (I don’t care about the stuff) but it’s the feeling of betrayal in a sense that’s putting me down. It’s also because I’ve shared my most vulnerable feelings with them (I.e insecurities etc). They’ve also pained me as the ‘bad guy’ and made me do all the dirty work for them.

I have to work on a project with them for one of my modules and honestly don’t trust them one bit, and worst of all my grade depends on this project. They could easily say I didn’t do any work and there is no work to screw me over and there is no way of proving them wrong. This makes me feel very trapped and I can’t express how I feel as they may turn on me by telling our prof that I did nothing (fyi I have been doing work to contribute to the project).

Tbh I know I shouldn’t worry about it and move on as it won’t matter in 5 years but I can’t help it. I am just putting the on TSR to ask if I’m just being pathetic and how can I go about this situation.

Reply 1

Lilyanne2

Original post by Anonymous

You are not being 'pathetic' in the least. Absolutely not! Some people tend to exploit others, some people are kind, others are not. You might, unfortunately, have found a group of people that just aren't particularly nice. In work situations, you might be surprised to learn that some colleagues are polite and super friendly to people's face, but not so complementary about them behind the scenes. It could be that this group of people are also not always so nice about each other behind their backs. So it is possible that others in the group might also feel a little bit 'used'. It is not too late to connect to other people, however, if you feel you would like to try. Perhaps there are some clubs/societies you could investigate. Do not feel you need to stick with your year group, for instance. As for your project, it might be worth talking to your academic contact (sorry, not sure what they are called nowadays) and running some of your project ideas past them, so they are aware of your input. Also, try to keep notes of your contributions, and how you came to your conclusions, just in case you do need to provide evidence. Hopefully, however, your professor should be aware of your abilities, and so you shouldn't need to prove anything. If there is a chance that you do have insecurities about things and it occasionally gets you down, perhaps there are helpful people you could chat to at your university, without necessarily talking to other students about them.