Friend doesn't text me back

So my friend lives far from me now that they are at uni so the only way I can communicate with them is by text. Unfortunately they don't respond back very quickly and even when they do, they often don't look at all the messages (we are the type of friends to send lots of big blocks of text). I've known them for 2 years now and they've only recently started doing it these past 6 months. They have told me before that it's because they want to put all the energy into texting me back but sometimes I feel like they do it because I just don't matter to them. I know I'm overreacting but it upsets me because it feels like I'm putting in all the energy to upkeep the friendship especially now that we don't see each other everyday.

For some context, I've had a history of having unrequited feelings for my friend and they do have MH issues but even if there's a reason, I frequently feel upset about this. I feel unable to talk to her about it because I don't want to upset them or make myself seem too clingy.

I feel so crappy so any advice would be great.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Oh and they are very busy too so there are plenty of plausible reasons. However, they do find the time to text on group chats too so this doesn't help with the feeling of having a one sided friendship.

Reply 2

Surnia

What about phoning them or doing a video call? With the latter, you can do stuff like cook and eat a meal together or do hobbies etc.

I think you do need to talk to them about it, but get a feel for their uni timetable, their workload and any other activities they do, plus how they are coping with their MH. It's a very different environment for them, and they'll have had a lot to keep them occupied over recent months, which is when you say things started to change.