Friends advice
My first semester is nearly finished and as I have previously mentioned I barely have any friends and after being mentally not okay I decided I don't want this and I want to make friends, the only thing is it can be very awkward to approach a random person and start speaking to them in random situations like a little break between lectures any advice on how to make friends? Without the awkwardness please? It is important to note that our class is divided into little groups 90% the time and 90% of them are boys and the rest of them are not an option so I can't just approach anyone.
Original post by Ushsgvev
My first semester is nearly finished and as I have previously mentioned I barely have any friends and after being mentally not okay I decided I don't want this and I want to make friends, the only thing is it can be very awkward to approach a random person and start speaking to them in random situations like a little break between lectures any advice on how to make friends? Without the awkwardness please? It is important to note that our class is divided into little groups 90% the time and 90% of them are boys and the rest of them are not an option so I can't just approach anyone.
Hi @Ushsgvev
I really relate to this because I am in my third year and I have only ever made one good friend who is on my course.
To be honest, I made most of my friends at uni through societies or by attending different events that the uni hosts on campus. I am also a Student Ambassador which means I work with other students doing various things like supporting Open Days. This is where I met a few of my friends too because we regularly work together. Have a look and see if your uni offers something like this! I think those who actually make good friends on their course are very lucky, but for most of us, it takes a little more work to make friends.
With the awkwardness thing, I totally get that, but what I have learned is that most of the time we would love someone to start a conversation with us. So when I approach someone now I think about how I would react if someone randomly approached me and I would not mind it at all. Plus, after doing it once it gets easier the next time.
Anastasia,
Student Rep.
Original post by Ushsgvev
My first semester is nearly finished and as I have previously mentioned I barely have any friends and after being mentally not okay I decided I don't want this and I want to make friends, the only thing is it can be very awkward to approach a random person and start speaking to them in random situations like a little break between lectures any advice on how to make friends? Without the awkwardness please? It is important to note that our class is divided into little groups 90% the time and 90% of them are boys and the rest of them are not an option so I can't just approach anyone.
Hey @Ushsgvev
I completely understand feeling awkward when trying to speak to people, I always struggled with making friends too and found small talk very uncomfortable. One thing I do find a bit easier is to talk about something I really love, such as TV shows, because then I can go on and on about it if we ended up liking the same show, I guess it's just trying to find some common ground first. Perhaps you could follow some course mates on social media, and start replying to their stories and hope that initiates a conversation! Like Anastasia said below, I'd also recommend looking into becoming a student ambassador as a way of meeting new people. I'd also recommend getting involved in volunteering opportunities, attending any SU events/trips, joining a club or society too, hopefully being in a different environment / being surrounded by people with similar interests will help make conversation that little bit easier.
Good luck with the rest of your uni experience
Becky
Original post by Ushsgvev
My first semester is nearly finished and as I have previously mentioned I barely have any friends and after being mentally not okay I decided I don't want this and I want to make friends, the only thing is it can be very awkward to approach a random person and start speaking to them in random situations like a little break between lectures any advice on how to make friends? Without the awkwardness please? It is important to note that our class is divided into little groups 90% the time and 90% of them are boys and the rest of them are not an option so I can't just approach anyone.
@Ushsgvev
It sounds like friendship with people on your course might not be so easy, so perhaps as others have suggested its finding friendships in other places.
Do you commute or are you in halls of residence? If you are in student accommodation making conversation might be as simple as asking someone when they come into the kitchen 'How's your day going?'/ How's things going?/ How's life?/What are you having for dinner? Do you want to share a takeway?/What are your plans for the weekend?
You could also sit next to people you don't know at lunchtime and ask if they are also first year students, what they are studying etc...? It might that there is something that automatically leads to a question e.g. a tattoo they have or a football shirt they are wearing or overhearing something said in conversation e.g. they are stressing about an assignment and you being able to say that you also have an essay of so many words...It really could be anything.
Remember, sometimes people are willing to talk with others, sometimes they don't know what to say, sometimes people close down conversations before they even begin, that's okay! You don't need to take it personally! Everyone has those days when they don't really feel like making small talk or when they feel like they have got no conversation to give or when they haven't got time to talk, so do try and can keep a balanced view of things.
The more you talk with others, the easier it will get, and hopefully you will find some things that you do have in common and some friends along the way.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
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