My (21F)best friend’s (22F) boyfriend (23F) keeps trying to be close with me

My friend has had a very weird rocky relationship with her first boyfriend (they have been together for probably 2 years?). He’s very shady from doing weird things like lying to us for months that his real name is ‘Ryu’ when it’s actually ‘Alex’ because he wanted to apparently appeal to asian people? Lying about his ethnicity when he apparently doesn’t fully know where he is from first he told us he was half thai and white and now he said he is half russian and portuguese and now we just don’t know. Constantly ruining every outing he is invited to for no reason. Calling my friend a ‘monkey’ as a joke while i’m on call with her(she’s black) and even gifting her a stuffed monkey to add to insult. I can understand couples can joke about each others race but i think it’s weird if your making those jokes in front of others especially her closest friends who are literally all black like?? I would be mortified if my boyfriend called me a monkey in a jokey way in front of all my friends.

But i’ve noticed he’s always had a weird obsession with especially me, and my friend doesn’t want to acknowledge that it’s inappropriate.

Firstly, i never follow any of my friends significant others on social media. I would only ever text them if it is something pertaining to my friend. My friends boyfriend proceeds to find my main account and personal account through going through her following, stalks my pictures and start commenting things in my home language (i’m nigerian) which i found odd and told my friend but she just said he’s weird like that and does stuff like that. In which he did, he even found all her younger sisters’ (who are still in secondary school meanwhile we are all finishing university) and commented our home language on their posts too.

When i call my friend and he is there i will gladly converse with him but sometimes he will end up shutting her out and only wanting to talk to me which i don’t mind, i told my friend why he kept doing that and she said she thinks he just wants to be your close friend because you interest him. And he said it himself he’s really intrigued with me because we have a lot in common.

As the relationship goes on he begins to start texting me out of the blue, immediately i told my friend and asked her why he is texting me and she said she doesn’t know and i should ignore it. Later on me and my friend had an argument and we fell out but we became friends again but he didn’t know we made up. She broke up with him and he began texting me weird paragraphs and i straight up told him “don’t you find it inappropriate to be drunk texting me when i’m not friends with *friends name* and you’re not reaching out to fix things with her” (bear in mind my friend was there while texting me so she saw it all). And he straight up just said “I won’t change for no one”.

Fast forward they got back together and he continued to constantly text me, i kept it cordial and blunt. And would always tell my friend if he texted me. I had gotten annoyed with it and told my friend “can you tell your boyfriend to stop texting me like i’m his best friend it’s weird.” She told me “it’s your fault for entertaining his nonsense stop replying.” She’s genuinely never spoken to him about me constantly telling her that i just want to be courteous with him and only talk to him when it’s something to do with her.

He even sent me a place in london because we talked about F1 racing (my friend isn’t into that) and it felt like he was hinting at going to that place but i just said us three should just go out. Even when we go out as a three he just wants to ramble to me and my friend doesn’t stop it. When they had broken up my friend and I planned a nice day out and he called her and asked if he could come and she said yes??? I was so angry, the entire day he just isolated her and kept trying to talk to me the entire time and i just ended up staying silent and he still kept going. I was so furious that my friend ruined this day out by allowing him to come and then flipping crying about how he doesn’t respect her while we are eating??

She is constantly excusing his inappropriate behaviour and it got to a point where i straight up removed him from all social media’s from tik tok to instagram but he kept requesting to follow my accounts? And i see him sometimes so i would feel awkward blocking him if i know I’ll see him and he definitely will bring it up.

I’ve spoken to a close friend of both of us and i told her everything and she said if her boyfriend was texting her close friend she would have told him straight up to stop and that i’m valid in feeling like he’s crossing boundaries.

TLDR:My (21F) best friends (22F) keeps texting me without boundaries and my best friend won’t stop him from it and keeps excusing his stalkish behaviour.