need help to stop fixating on the past
For context...
- Went to Sussex in 2019 but dropped out for personal reasons
- Reapplied for 2020, was between Leeds for environmental management and sustainability, or Sussex again for politics and IR
- On clearing day couldn't get through to Leeds so decided on Sussex
I don't know why I keep fixating on choosing Sussex over Leeds. I've never been to Leeds, but it's much more academically rigorous and I feel like I did myself a disservice going to Sussex because while I have loved it, I just feel like I could have had such a better experience
I'm now in my fourth year at Sussex doing a Masters, because realised my degree is not the most employable and I just keep getting upset. But you can't go back in time, so how do other people deal with regret???? I just need to move on but I can't stop thinking about where I would be if I had just gone with Leeds
- Went to Sussex in 2019 but dropped out for personal reasons
- Reapplied for 2020, was between Leeds for environmental management and sustainability, or Sussex again for politics and IR
- On clearing day couldn't get through to Leeds so decided on Sussex
I don't know why I keep fixating on choosing Sussex over Leeds. I've never been to Leeds, but it's much more academically rigorous and I feel like I did myself a disservice going to Sussex because while I have loved it, I just feel like I could have had such a better experience
I'm now in my fourth year at Sussex doing a Masters, because realised my degree is not the most employable and I just keep getting upset. But you can't go back in time, so how do other people deal with regret???? I just need to move on but I can't stop thinking about where I would be if I had just gone with Leeds
Original post by cwmeg
For context...
- Went to Sussex in 2019 but dropped out for personal reasons
- Reapplied for 2020, was between Leeds for environmental management and sustainability, or Sussex again for politics and IR
- On clearing day couldn't get through to Leeds so decided on Sussex
I don't know why I keep fixating on choosing Sussex over Leeds. I've never been to Leeds, but it's much more academically rigorous and I feel like I did myself a disservice going to Sussex because while I have loved it, I just feel like I could have had such a better experience
I'm now in my fourth year at Sussex doing a Masters, because realised my degree is not the most employable and I just keep getting upset. But you can't go back in time, so how do other people deal with regret???? I just need to move on but I can't stop thinking about where I would be if I had just gone with Leeds
- Went to Sussex in 2019 but dropped out for personal reasons
- Reapplied for 2020, was between Leeds for environmental management and sustainability, or Sussex again for politics and IR
- On clearing day couldn't get through to Leeds so decided on Sussex
I don't know why I keep fixating on choosing Sussex over Leeds. I've never been to Leeds, but it's much more academically rigorous and I feel like I did myself a disservice going to Sussex because while I have loved it, I just feel like I could have had such a better experience
I'm now in my fourth year at Sussex doing a Masters, because realised my degree is not the most employable and I just keep getting upset. But you can't go back in time, so how do other people deal with regret???? I just need to move on but I can't stop thinking about where I would be if I had just gone with Leeds
@cwmeg
It sounds like you've done really well where you are – you're doing a Masters! You chose Sussex twice. I am sure you had your reasons the first time and if it had been a negative experience, it's unlikely you would have gone there a second time.
You can spend your whole life asking 'What if?' but it doesn't get you anywhere because it doesn't change anything. It just makes you more discontent with the present. I think it is good and wise to try and seize opportunities when they come to us because there is no guarantee that they will come again, but I think it is also wise to see that sometimes not every door should be walked through and that sometimes doors close for a reason.
I think rather than worrying about what life may or may not have been like at Leeds. You should focus on what you want to do after your Masters. If you want you can move to Leeds, it's an option. If you want to move somewhere else, it's an option and even if you want to stay where you are, that's another option! You can't undo decisions made in the past, but you can choose what you do in the future.
All the best!
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Hi there,
I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
Remember that regret is hard to avoid and there is a possibility that even if you went to Leeds, you would have experienced regret there as well.
Furthermore, it's great that you are aware of this feeling as there is no point in denying it and letting yourself fall deeper into those negative thoughts.
Additionally, although regret is painful, it can also present a new opportunity. I mean look at you! You're completing a Masters which will open so many doors for you and help you discover so many new places and people.
Finally, remember that the world doesn't revolve around Sussex and Leeds. There are so many places out there waiting for you and you're still so very young so there is plenty of time for you to try each and every new experience.
I hope I managed to help!
Best of luck,
Melanie
LSBU Rep
I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
Remember that regret is hard to avoid and there is a possibility that even if you went to Leeds, you would have experienced regret there as well.
Furthermore, it's great that you are aware of this feeling as there is no point in denying it and letting yourself fall deeper into those negative thoughts.
Additionally, although regret is painful, it can also present a new opportunity. I mean look at you! You're completing a Masters which will open so many doors for you and help you discover so many new places and people.
Finally, remember that the world doesn't revolve around Sussex and Leeds. There are so many places out there waiting for you and you're still so very young so there is plenty of time for you to try each and every new experience.
I hope I managed to help!
Best of luck,
Melanie
LSBU Rep
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