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Desperately need career + life advice

khadijac2004

I’m sorry if this is a long winded post, it would be helpful if everyone knew my situation in detail to give me appropriate advice.
For reference, I’m a very ambitious person.

I’ve always done okay in school with minimal effort. (10 As at GCSE) Initially, I’ve had always wanted to become a psychologist. To be honest, this was always an innate thing. I dont’ remember when this ‘dream’ began - that career has just constantly been an option. When I was younger (aged 8-16) I knew that I was going to do a psychology degree.

Well, a week before I turned 17 (about a month into year 12), I was diagnosed with a chronic eye condition called corneal neuralgia. Quite rare. I basically have eye pain in my eyes that comes and goes. (stabbing in the cornea, aches and dryness etc.) These symptoms arrived overnight. As you can imagine, I was extremely depressed and hopeless. I did at one point attempt to take my own life. I was homebound for 3 months. Came back to college, was failing everything etc etc…

My brother died a month before AS exams. (Sudden death, no known health conditions at the time, only 28 and we were extremely close)

I retook Year 12 as I was sort of mananging my eye condition. I became interested in biology (I do bio, psych and business A levels) and was set on becoming an optometrist bc of wanting to help people with my condition. I was getting better.

In my AS year 12 exams, I got As in every single exam, including full UMS in biology and psychology. (basically 100%)
(the reason why I got such high marks is because I was revising A LOT, it was a coping mecahnism for grief, everytime my brain would think about my brother, I picked up a textbook. I would also have to revise with one eye at a time, my eyes have a battery life lol)

However, my eye disease got worse starting from November 2023. It’s way more hard to manage and studying gives me more eye pain. I had flare ups where I couldn’t open my eyes bc it would hurt so bad. I was suicidal again and very not life my self essentially.
I made the difficult decision to cancel my university offers for Optometry + withdrew my uni application as I wouldn’t be able to do the actual job of looking at people’s eyes etc because I can’t keep my eyes open for long due to eye pain. I don’t want a job where I’m straining my eyes. I don’t want to study a 4 year degree in which I may not be able to use.

I’m going on a gap year when I finish A levels and planning on applying for a psychology degree, ideally I want to go to Bath but I’m not sure if I will do well in my final A level exams. I’m just really worried to be honest, about a lot of things.

1. People say psychology degrees are useless, but I’m commited to becoming a psychologist or CBT therapist.
2. Sometimes I doubt if becoming a therapist is for me. The death of my brother is really sinking in now, it’s almost been 2 years since he died. I’m 19 and still feel like that scared 17 year old girl. What if I’m just not built to work in mental health?
3. What I liked about optometry is that it is a set career path where you are guaranteed a job, psychology not so much. But that’s also why I should just do psychology because I don’t know what’s happening with my eye disease. I could get worse. I could get better. I may not be able to use my eyes properly in the future, hence why becoming a psychologist makes sense bc I can work around my condition. I can’t do this with optometry.
4. Optometry felt like a perfect job for me I guess, because it has decent pay and I’m interested in eye stuff. Conversely, I know that being a psychologist would be more rewarding and give my life meaning. It would allow me to not define myself via my eye disease.
5. I need to go to a good university for psych. I’m worried that I won’t do well in my final exams. I have been getting As and Bs in assessments this year but I’ve never felt so depressed. I’ve been in a lot of phyiscal and emotional pain so it probably will affect my final grades.

I regret withdrawing my optometry application sometimes, but deep down I know it’s for the best. I just feel like a complete failure and that my life will amount to nothing. I want to be happy and have a job I like that can accomodate my condition.
I don’t really know what I’m asking anymore. I just needed to vent lol, since my brother died, I have no one to get advice from.

Do you guys think that it was a good decision to not purse optometry and to try and become a therapist or psychologist instead?
Any other career paths that don’t require too much screentime or visual tasks?…

Reply 1

DataVenia

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

Original post by khadijac2004

Do you guys think that it was a good decision to not purse optometry and to try and become a therapist or psychologist instead?

Given your circumstances (which sound pretty horrible), it seems like exactly the right decision to me.

As for you comment that, "People say psychology degrees are useless", those people clearly don't know what they're talking about. Along with Geography graduates, Psychology graduates are the most employable. (See, for example, "What makes psychology and geography grads the most employable?" on the Guardian web site.)

Now, to be fair, becoming a practicing Psychologist is hard, and most Psychology graduates actually enter other related fields. Perhaps that's why "people" get the impression they do?

You say, " I need to go to a good university for psych". Is that simply because you are "a very ambitious person"?

Do you have any way of knowing what's likely to happen with your eye disease? I assume it's being treated, somehow? Or is there no cure?

Reply 2

khadijac2004

Original post by DataVenia

Given your circumstances (which sound pretty horrible), it seems like exactly the right decision to me.
As for you comment that, "People say psychology degrees are useless", those people clearly don't know what they're talking about. Along with Geography graduates, Psychology graduates are the most employable. (See, for example, "What makes psychology and geography grads the most employable?" on the Guardian web site.)
Now, to be fair, becoming a practicing Psychologist is hard, and most Psychology graduates actually enter other related fields. Perhaps that's why "people" get the impression they do?
You say, " I need to go to a good university for psych". Is that simply because you are "a very ambitious person"?
Do you have any way of knowing what's likely to happen with your eye disease? I assume it's being treated, somehow? Or is there no cure?

I think me assuming that I need to go to a good uni for psych comes from random people on the Internet saying that psychology is a bad degree. But then I should just ignore these "random people"

I am being treated for my eye disease. It's complicated. I get a treatment called the optilight ipl alongside various pain medication. I get the optilight every 2 months and sometimes it can really help, other times I still am in pain/discomfort.

There's no cure, for some ppl it can be managed. I can still live a somewhat normal life though. I'm sticking with psychology though thank you. Even if I don't come to be a psychologist, my degree will at least always be useful to get into a lot of other things!