Thanks for a pretty detailed response. I understand a bit better why it happens so much in discussions about rape, but I still think I've seen individual comments being highlighted as off-topic, when they are pretty relevant (and also not victim-blaming). I also think it would be helpful when mods post a general reminder
after deleting comments to maybe indicate that they've been deleted? Because if that's where I've got the impression the rules are really strict and anything can be construed as off-topic, I imagine plenty of others have too.
I also think it's often the case that people have contributed something very useful to the discussion, but not particularly useful to the OP. If the thread has gradually gone off-tangent, then sure, a polite reminder is probably pretty helpful, since people can take the debate elsewhere. But I've also seen a lot of OPs blindly refusing to listen to certain points, or accept them as relevant to the discussion, when they really are. To be honest, I'm not sure I've seen many mods backing them up, but it's another situation where I've often wanted to make my point, but as the OP obviously doesn't want to hear it, I don't because I might be breaking the rules.
I think overall you've settled my concerns anyway, so thanks