Went too far with my boyfriend

I've been going out with this guy for just over three months but I've told him that I want to take things slow. Last night we were at a party (both drunk) and I let him do things to me that I now regret. I accept that it was my fault for having so much to drink and getting myself into that situation (I really enjoyed it at the time) but I can't help but feel like I've been violated in some way. I can't stop crying and I feel sick, and I wish I could rewind.

The basic issue at hand is that I'm not comfortable enough with my own body for other people to be doing stuff with me. I don't even know if I like the guy I'm with in a romantic way, it's all just a huge mess and I'd appreciate some kind words.

I've been going out with this guy for just over three months but I've told him that I want to take things slow. Last night we were at a party (both drunk) and I let him do things to me that I now regret. I accept that it was my fault for having so much to drink and getting myself into that situation (I really enjoyed it at the time) but I can't help but feel like I've been violated in some way. I can't stop crying and I feel sick, and I wish I could rewind.

The basic issue at hand is that I'm not comfortable enough with my own body for other people to be doing stuff with me. I don't even know if I like the guy I'm with in a romantic way, it's all just a huge mess and I'd appreciate some kind words.

My bf caught me suckin off my pet hamster.its just that my pet had a 9 inch gun unlike my bf who only had a 1 iinch wonder.

Being drunk is not an excuse.

Mayb try talking to him as you hav been going out for three months - he may understand and I understand , but what has happened has happened and if he is like this then there are like 10 billion other people in the world who will love you for you and will not do anything sort of thing . Finding them is the difficult part xxx

Please clarify; I believe you're saying you happily did things with him - fully consented, enjoyed it and actually no violation took place? But today you felt regret because you're not comfortable with your body and unsure if you like him in a romantic way? That's very different to being violated so clarification is needed.

Thank you I'm going to message him in the morning and apologise for being all over the place at the moment. I'm feeling much better than I did an hour ago, I probably just overreacted.



It was completely consensual. We were both drunk, and it was absolutely not his fault. I told him I was okay with it at the time, and it's only now that I'm feeling like I should have stopped things. I'm accepting full responsibility for what happened, I just kinda wish it hadn't.

so many relationship issues going on today damnnnnnnn

anyway, you were drunk so that would've been normal

the hard truth is that you cannot change anything about it, but its not too late to get comfortable with yourself

talk it out, see if it meant anything to him, take it slow too otherwise soon you'd be expecting a baby

it was bound to happen at some point in your life

i really suck at advice. ive never been in a relationship so dont take advvise from me

Girl, what's done is done. Its easier said than done but you need to put that behind you. Go wash your face, make yourself a cup of tea and talk to him (face to face or on the phone). Chances are he might have something to say about it as well. The kind words need to come from him not strangers on-line.


But if in doubt, I will say that if you enjoyed it at the time then there's really no reason to regret it now. I understand, living in the moment can be a good thing and also a bad thing. I suggest you try forgiving yourself if you honestly think it was a mistake. Once in a while you are allowed to make the wrong move, you are human. No one is blaming you, From now on you need to start loving yourself and be happy in your own skin and focus on the more important things in life.

Hope your feeling better, also, a good nights sleep may do the trick!
x

Yeah I think you should do just that and see how things go and it's good your feeling much better than before 😉

Thank you I'm going to message him in the morning and apologise for being all over the place at the moment. I'm feeling much better than I did an hour ago, I probably just overreacted.



It was completely consensual. We were both drunk, and it was absolutely not his fault. I told him I was okay with it at the time, and it's only now that I'm feeling like I should have stopped things. I'm accepting full responsibility for what happened, I just kinda wish it hadn't.

Thank you xxx

Then you just need to focus on accepting that you did something that felt great, and that regret is futile. You had what was an enjoyable moment with someone you were in a relationship with and regardless as to whether he's you're big love he cares for you and these are massive ticks in boxes a lot of people don't have for such experiences.

We don't know what you did but hopefully you were safe and can separate the night from doubts you may have about your boyfriend and any hopes you had set that combat with it. Life isn't perfect, take the positives where you can.

Obviously my response would be different should it not have been consensual in anyway; being drunk doesn't mean consent.

Thank you so much! I've been putting too much emphasis on the significance of what happened and it really isn't that big a deal, it just felt like it was. Since we were both drunk and I told him (and believed at the time) that I was okay with what we were doing, I'm treating it as 100% consensual. Obviously there are blurred lines when alcohol is involved, but there's not much that can be done about it now.

I really appreciate that you took the time to reply. I feel much better about it all now