Constantly scared of breaking up
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, we are both 15 and i am so in love we have done some things as well which maybe is the reason im so obsessed. But ever since we have become closer and closer ive been so afraid of loosing him.
GCSEs are coming up in less than a year and i dont want to loose him or fail everything. I have a strict mum too who constantly is reminding me im a **** if i do anything with him, so i feel quilty and bad.
Every little inconvenince that happens with him scares me so much and im worried 24/7 that something might go wrong.
GCSEs are coming up in less than a year and i dont want to loose him or fail everything. I have a strict mum too who constantly is reminding me im a **** if i do anything with him, so i feel quilty and bad.
Every little inconvenince that happens with him scares me so much and im worried 24/7 that something might go wrong.
Hi! I completely understand how you feel. I am 17 and have been with my boyfriend since I was 15. What I've learned that's helped with this anxiety is speaking to him about it. If he cares about you and loves you he will do everything in his power to reassure you. Me and my boyfriend have recently did stuff for the first time that has definitely made me more attached to him so I understand completely. It's the fear of breaking up after you've been so vulnerable with them with your body. My mum is strict too so I understand the guilt, but it's a normal human instinct. Doing stuff with your boyfriend isn't a bad thing and can strengthen your connection (obviously depends on age.) Never feel guilty. You are human. It's normal. I'd also suggest to try and be more independent with yourself and spend time with friends/doing hobbies. Constantly thinking about your boyfriend and being dependent on them will definitely create fear and make you overthink non stop. Just enjoy things how they are at the present and don't overthink and create scenarios in your head about breaking up, I know it's easier said than done.
Original post by Anonymous #1
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, we are both 15 and i am so in love we have done some things as well which maybe is the reason im so obsessed. But ever since we have become closer and closer ive been so afraid of loosing him.
GCSEs are coming up in less than a year and i dont want to loose him or fail everything. I have a strict mum too who constantly is reminding me im a **** if i do anything with him, so i feel quilty and bad.
Every little inconvenince that happens with him scares me so much and im worried 24/7 that something might go wrong.
GCSEs are coming up in less than a year and i dont want to loose him or fail everything. I have a strict mum too who constantly is reminding me im a **** if i do anything with him, so i feel quilty and bad.
Every little inconvenince that happens with him scares me so much and im worried 24/7 that something might go wrong.
things will go wrong and you will argue, but always talk it out, never ever keep your feelings to yourself as it will lead to further problems and stress in the future. (coming from personal experience lol) if he truly wants to understand and stay with you then he will talk to you during arguments. it is very scary, but as time goes on it slowly gets better. even though i’ve been with my boyfriend for so long (especially at a young age) i am still scared sometimes that we will break up. but everything comes with time and it will feel better eventually. little inconveniences may seem huge but that’s all it is, a little inconvenience and you will always get through it, again, if you both want it. i’m not going to lie and say you won’t have some bad arguments because you will, me and my boyfriend have nearly broken up a few times but because we both want to stay with each other and love each other so much, we have worked through it and understood where we both went wrong and just came back stronger.
take everything at a time and enjoy it in the moment! just remember, communication and trust is key!! xx
I’ll come in here with a different perspective.
Focus on your GCSE’s and still make time for him as it sets you up for the rest of your life. If you don’t get good GCSE’s, you can’t do A Levels, then you can’t go to as good universities etc as they look back as far as gcse grades when making offers.
I was with (who I thought was) the love of my life when i was 16 years old and just started college. I would go to visit him rather than do college work, I would even skip college to see him sometimes. Long term this messed up everything for my future, I had to stay back in first year, behind all of my peer group as I was failing, for him to leave me regardless when we were 17 leaning towards 18. He got bored of me and went off with other people after he grew a big ego. This destroyed me and lead to me doing really poorly, so staying back in college allowed me to do better in my A Levels, although as mentioned, this costed me a lot socially and mentally.
If you both keep making effort there’s nothing to worry about, but first loves aren’t always bound to last, it’s very rare for them to do so. Live in the present, love him and enjoy him while you have him, but if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. Focus on exams and take life with a pinch of salt. If you’re meant to last, you’ll last. You shouldn’t stress about things like this when there are bigger things to stress about coming up.
I’m sorry your mums not being good with you over you having a boyfriend. It’s wrong of her to be like this. I can relate as my mum was gobsmacked and snooped round my room to look for signs for what I was upto with my first, and she was horrified by it. I think it’s because they don’t like the idea of their children growing into young adults, even though it’s life. And the way it’s being done is NOT the correct way to go about this.
If you want to talk about anything feel free to throw a message as I feel I can relate to you somewhat on this, as i’ve been through similar myself, I’m now coming up for 19 and have come out the other side of things with new perspectives, realising how much I idolised a relationship which was never bound to last, which I didn’t see until after it all ended and I found confidence to move on.
You’re young, naive, and it’s your first time learning to love, so please try not to stress. Just focus on the happy things in your relationship, not the worries!
Hope this helps a little bit.
Focus on your GCSE’s and still make time for him as it sets you up for the rest of your life. If you don’t get good GCSE’s, you can’t do A Levels, then you can’t go to as good universities etc as they look back as far as gcse grades when making offers.
I was with (who I thought was) the love of my life when i was 16 years old and just started college. I would go to visit him rather than do college work, I would even skip college to see him sometimes. Long term this messed up everything for my future, I had to stay back in first year, behind all of my peer group as I was failing, for him to leave me regardless when we were 17 leaning towards 18. He got bored of me and went off with other people after he grew a big ego. This destroyed me and lead to me doing really poorly, so staying back in college allowed me to do better in my A Levels, although as mentioned, this costed me a lot socially and mentally.
If you both keep making effort there’s nothing to worry about, but first loves aren’t always bound to last, it’s very rare for them to do so. Live in the present, love him and enjoy him while you have him, but if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. Focus on exams and take life with a pinch of salt. If you’re meant to last, you’ll last. You shouldn’t stress about things like this when there are bigger things to stress about coming up.
I’m sorry your mums not being good with you over you having a boyfriend. It’s wrong of her to be like this. I can relate as my mum was gobsmacked and snooped round my room to look for signs for what I was upto with my first, and she was horrified by it. I think it’s because they don’t like the idea of their children growing into young adults, even though it’s life. And the way it’s being done is NOT the correct way to go about this.
If you want to talk about anything feel free to throw a message as I feel I can relate to you somewhat on this, as i’ve been through similar myself, I’m now coming up for 19 and have come out the other side of things with new perspectives, realising how much I idolised a relationship which was never bound to last, which I didn’t see until after it all ended and I found confidence to move on.
You’re young, naive, and it’s your first time learning to love, so please try not to stress. Just focus on the happy things in your relationship, not the worries!
Hope this helps a little bit.
If by 'things' you mean sexual activity, you're both too young to be doing that. If there's any hint of thinking that's what's required to maintain this relationship end it now. Likewise, being 'obsessed' and constantly on edge are not part of a healthy relationship.
You are both in the same position of needing to get your GCSEs, so the pair of you should concentrate on your exams. If you are meant to be together, you'll wait and reunite when you are both older, wiser and more qualified...
You are both in the same position of needing to get your GCSEs, so the pair of you should concentrate on your exams. If you are meant to be together, you'll wait and reunite when you are both older, wiser and more qualified...
Original post by Surnia
If by 'things' you mean sexual activity, you're both too young to be doing that. If there's any hint of thinking that's what's required to maintain this relationship end it now. Likewise, being 'obsessed' and constantly on edge are not part of a healthy relationship.
You are both in the same position of needing to get your GCSEs, so the pair of you should concentrate on your exams. If you are meant to be together, you'll wait and reunite when you are both older, wiser and more qualified...
You are both in the same position of needing to get your GCSEs, so the pair of you should concentrate on your exams. If you are meant to be together, you'll wait and reunite when you are both older, wiser and more qualified...
i understand your side, but personally i disagree, i definitely think you can work through gcses together if you both take time to get through it and understand the stress and time away from each other you will have. and as long as people are mature i think doing “sexual” things as you put it is completely fine from 15 onwards.
Original post by Anonymous #3
i understand your side, but personally i disagree, i definitely think you can work through gcses together if you both take time to get through it and understand the stress and time away from each other you will have. and as long as people are mature i think doing “sexual” things as you put it is completely fine from 15 onwards.
Original post by Surnia
Wrong. According to the Sexual Offences Act 2003, it's a criminal offence for any kind of sexual activity to take place between two people where one or both participants is under 16.
go and seriously tell every under 16 couple that and see the response you get. all i did was disagree with your opinion and gave you mine, i don’t wants facts and all
Original post by Anonymous #2
Hi! I completely understand how you feel. I am 17 and have been with my boyfriend since I was 15. What I've learned that's helped with this anxiety is speaking to him about it. If he cares about you and loves you he will do everything in his power to reassure you. Me and my boyfriend have recently did stuff for the first time that has definitely made me more attached to him so I understand completely. It's the fear of breaking up after you've been so vulnerable with them with your body. My mum is strict too so I understand the guilt, but it's a normal human instinct. Doing stuff with your boyfriend isn't a bad thing and can strengthen your connection (obviously depends on age.) Never feel guilty. You are human. It's normal. I'd also suggest to try and be more independent with yourself and spend time with friends/doing hobbies. Constantly thinking about your boyfriend and being dependent on them will definitely create fear and make you overthink non stop. Just enjoy things how they are at the present and don't overthink and create scenarios in your head about breaking up, I know it's easier said than done.
Original post by Anonymous #3
go and seriously tell every under 16 couple that and see the response you get. all i did was disagree with your opinion and gave you mine, i don’t wants facts and all
(edited 1 month ago)
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