PCOS and feeling tired

So I have recently been diagnosed by my doctor of having PCOS. From what I understand, this is as a result of high levels of androgen produced by my mother whilst I was in utero. This has resulted in "cysts" in my ovaries which are basically undeveloped eggs. This has really got me thinking about fertility and I wanted to ask whether men would still be interested in me even if they knew about my condition and if so, would they be in a long term relationship with me, knowing the possibility that there is a chance I will be unable to conceive. I feel disgusting and am so scared that when a man sees me he will see a fat mess of a woman with a moustache and be warded away. I am constantly tired and feel so unladylike, and I also have very bad mood swings, one minute I am happy and the next I can be reduced to a ball on the floor crying my eyes out. What man would really want to deal with all that? Ultimately I am scared of telling possible partners about my PCOS. Would it be better not to tell them until we have been together for a few years. Please give me some advice :frown:

Reply 1

Helenia

20

PCOS is really common, and for most women is at most an inconvenience, not life ruining. Lots of the symptoms can be managed with medication and diet/lifestyle changes. Its cause is not fully understood, so it's unfair to blame it all on your mother.

I have it and was only diagnosed aged 30, so clearly it is possible to get through life without it ruining everything, which you seem to be viewing it as at the moment. I only found out because I was having trouble getting pregnant - but with some fairly simple treatment I am now 29 weeks! If you let it take over your life, it can - but only if you let it.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Helenia

PCOS is really common, and for most women is at most an inconvenience, not life ruining. Lots of the symptoms can be managed with medication and diet/lifestyle changes. Its cause is not fully understood, so it's unfair to blame it all on your mother.

I have it and was only diagnosed aged 30, so clearly it is possible to get through life without it ruining everything, which you seem to be viewing it as at the moment. I only found out because I was having trouble getting pregnant - but with some fairly simple treatment I am now 29 weeks! If you let it take over your life, it can - but only if you let it.

Well this is good to hear :smile:

how do you control the mood swings?

Reply 3

username1177050

20

From what I understand of the condition after I came across a Reddit post describing it, it makes the sufferer feel utterly worthless and undesirable due to hormonal imbalances, which can happen instantly. One moment you will be fine and the next you will have serious panic and think the worst. I think it's something they need to know as they can understand a bit more when you start lashing out at them and why you are constantly tired/depressed etc. If they didn't know then they would have a reason to just abandon you wouldn't they as they may think you are being grouchy for no reason.

I think you should tell a partner straight away because they might not want to deal with that and it would be "unfair" to entrap them. It also wouldn't be fair on you. In regards to your last point, it would definitely be easier not to be in a relationship with someone who suffers from PCOS, as you would not have to deal with the constant mood swings and directed at you and/or adapt your lifestyle. If your thinking long term, then you have to consider the possibility that you may not be able to have kids and your partner obviously might want them. Secondly, from what I have read, the partner will have to be a constant "crutch" for the sufferer, and this means taking the lead in most matters of the relationship, and so the partner might want to factor in that you cannot physically work a full time job (tiredness etc). The mood swings can also be dangerous to any kids in the relationship as you may end up picking up a weapon and using it on them.

However, this is by no means from any sort of expert, I merely came across this info on Reddit Lol. I don't mean to cause any offence at all and I hope people don't take issue with me. I am sure a person who is worth being with will stick by you, but it's right that they have all the information to make that decision

Reply 4

Helenia

20

Anonymous

Well this is good to hear how do you control the mood swings?

To be honest, they're not something that affects me much - and they're not a major symptom in PCOS. It probably helps that I'm not a teenager any more (far from it!) so am out of the sea of raging hormones that comes with puberty for ANYONE, not just women with PCOS. If you are concerned about your mental health, speak to your GP about that as a separate issue - it might not be down to PCOS and there are things that can be done.

Remember that not everyone will develop every symptom of the condition, and there are things you can do to improve it for yourself, like losing weight and keeping fit, as well as treatments for some of the symptoms like excessive hair growth, irregular periods and subfertility.

Original post by neal95

From what I understand of the condition after I came across a Reddit post describing it, it makes the sufferer feel utterly worthless and undesirable due to hormonal imbalances, which can happen instantly. One moment you will be fine and the next you will have serious panic and think the worst. I think it's something they need to know as they can understand a bit more when you start lashing out at them and why you are constantly tired/depressed etc. If they didn't know then they would have a reason to just abandon you wouldn't they as they may think you are being grouchy for no reason.

I think you should tell a partner straight away because they might not want to deal with that and it would be "unfair" to entrap them. It also wouldn't be fair on you. In regards to your last point, it would definitely be easier not to be in a relationship with someone who suffers from PCOS, as you would not have to deal with the constant mood swings and directed at you and/or adapt your lifestyle. If your thinking long term, then you have to consider the possibility that you may not be able to have kids and your partner obviously might want them. Secondly, from what I have read, the partner will have to be a constant "crutch" for the sufferer, and this means taking the lead in most matters of the relationship, and so the partner might want to factor in that you cannot physically work a full time job (tiredness etc). The mood swings can also be dangerous to any kids in the relationship as you may end up picking up a weapon and using it on them.

However, this is by no means from any sort of expert, I merely came across this info on Reddit Lol. I don't mean to cause any offence at all and I hope people don't take issue with me. I am sure a person who is worth being with will stick by you, but it's right that they have all the information to make that decision

I think this is making a mountain out of a molehill, to be honest. Mood swings are not one of the major features of PCOS - they are common in lots of people with lots of different conditions or no diagnosis at all. The hormonal imbalance is not enormous. An estimated 20% of women have it, and many, many of them will have few enough symptoms that it's never diagnosed, or only later when they try to conceive. It would be ridiculous to assume that someone couldn't do a full-time job or would be dangerous around kids simply because of PCOS - that would be a far more significant issue that can't be blamed on that particular diagnosis.

I think your Reddit article has given you a very extreme view. Most people with PCOS function as entirely normal members of society, many don't even know they have the condition. They aren't all relying on other people for "emotional crutches," flying off into rages, unable to hold down jobs etc - this is extreme, and likely to not just be due to PCOS. Fertility is an issue, but once diagnosed PCOS actually has a much higher rate of success with treatment compared with other causes of infertility. The metabolic problems (insulin resistance etc) can be a long-term problem and need monitoring and careful maintenance of weight, which is easier said than done. It's really not necessary for anyone with the diagnosis to despair or think that no-one will ever want to be with them etc.

(edited 7 years ago)

PCOS and feeling tired

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