I know I'm giving you more reserve ammo to spam-bump this thread, but a few things from skimming the first few lines (my brain would die if I read more):
1) Everyone has a 2:1. People who can't do the 6x table or spell, get drunk every night, send in work late, and rush all their 10,000-word essays 5 hours before it's due and get a 2:1.
2) People who have to say "I have a high IQ" are compensating for something - usually a lack of intelligence. At least in understanding what an IQ test actually is.
3) "Just because I pay 3 quid a minute to talk to beautiful women that doesn't make me stupid" - It makes you a few things, stupid I'd say is one of them... Besides, if Albert Einstein paid 3... whatever the currency was back then... a minute for phone sex, I'd call him stupid too. Doesn't mean he wasn't a genius.